Heal
by Sarakaroline8
Summary: It had almost been eight months since the battle between the Saviors and Alexandria. Putting pieces back together for the communities and the people involved is easier said than done. FIFTH INSTALLMENT of the Many Hearts to Tread Series.
1. Chapter 1

**THE THINGS THAT ARE CURRENTLY HAPPENING IN SEASON 7 OF THE WALKING DEAD** **are in my book called Vessel. That's the third book.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE – You made it to Book 5 of the Many Hearts to Tread series! Wow! I am so excited about this one. It's kind of a breath of fresh air where Book 1-4 were kind of dark. 5 will have its moments but it'll be a lot different from the pace that you are used to from me. 6-10 will carry on in depressing story lines. But book 5 takes place during the two years where the communities rebuild and heal. Perhaps uneventful and maybe I could have skipped this portion and just started with New Beginning storyline.**

 **Consider Book 5 (Heal) to be a giant epilogue to Books 1-4. There are moments that I could have glazed over and explained that they happened in the timeline with Book 6 being two years after the events of book 4. But I want to see my characters settle down a bit before being thrown into the fire again. I'm sure that my readers feels somewhat the same. Maybe some extra closure is needed. Either way, I would have written it anyways. So I may as well share it with you guys! Most of these chapters have already been written. I'm so happy to finally post them gradually! I love how the journey continues!**

Chapter 1

 _December 23, 2013_

It was a peaceful winter night in Hilltop as snow fell down upon an already white canvas. Christy surveyed the scene outside the window of the lone mansion to see people going about their business but most were already in their trailer homes and spending quality time with their families. The only people still doing their work was the blacksmith named Earl, the guards standing near the front entrance, and the workers tending to the livestock.

It had been a little more than seven months since their battle with Sanctuary. Oddly enough, Sanctuary was no longer their enemy and rather an ally. Under the leadership of Dwight, things were starting to smooth out as everyone mutually pitched in to make all four main communities thrive. The smaller districts that had pocketed the area also contributed in their own way. More importantly, if they were under siege from a walker herd, each community would respond and help.

She sighed out of contentment and then shuffled back to her spot on the couch that she had previously used to get some extra studying. Curled up underneath a blanket with a fire going, she glanced up to Rick before she got completely settled in her spot again. Rick sat down on an armchair next to her while he went through several notes about Alexandria. The leaders weren't scheduled to congregate for another week but everyone was going to be in Hilltop for separate reasons so they all decided to conduct business matters with them.

There was something so complaisant in Hilltop. Everyone was within a peaceful lull. Things that weren't necessarily life or death scenarios began to fill everyone's time. School was in session for all children from ages four to fifteen. Once they turned sixteen, they would seek apprenticeships from whatever career they wanted to help make their communities run effortlessly. People started making plans to grow abundant crops of every fruit and vegetable that could grow in the state of Virginia. Christy was training to become a nurse and wasn't the only one to do so. Supply runs didn't just consist of food as people found things to trade and would collect clothing items, music albums, or even art.

Some argued that they were getting too loose and cozy. Christy begged to differ. They weren't hiding in their safe places and avoiding the sad world around them. Instead they continued to clear roadways in between their communities from many herds that have rolled their way. Every time someone left the confines of their town walls, they were risking their lives still. Yet, their ability and freedom to scour the closest mall or shopping center was less risky as they continued to be organized and effective in their search for normalcy.

Christy lived a straightforward life in North Carolina. She was a teacher at an elementary school and got happily married at a very adolescent age. If she could compare her life to the way it was before, she would have to say that things were well on their way to becoming just like they used to be.

Rick noticed Christy's gaze and looked up with somewhat surprise. "What?" He asked as a smirk crept up on his face.

Christy grinned in reply but then picked up her book and opened it to the spot that she left off on before she went to look out the window for the umpteenth time. "Nothing," She said demurely.

"Uh-huh…" Rick said suspiciously and stared back down to the notes in hand. "You ready for your first procedure, Barbara?"

Christy looked down to her book and wished that she could absorb all the information that it provided her. However, she could have been called to help Doctor Carson within the next several minutes or the next hour depending on how long labor lasted. Whatever she already knew in her mind would have to be sufficient enough. "We have two other nurses in the same room. If something happens that I don't know…then I at least one of them will know what to do. Plus, I'm only there to assist." She responded logically.

"Nervous?" Rick asked while trying to spur on more conversation with her.

Christy didn't have a lot of opportunity to chat with Rick. She occasionally watched Judith for him while Carol was still rehabilitating with her side injury that she had endured during their last battle. Every night he would pick the little toddler up from her house and bring her back home with him. They were both exhausted from the entire day with him organizing practically everything on his own and her studying and playing silly games with his daughter. It was rare that they had a sit-down exchange.

"Yes, more worried about everything that _could_ happen. What if the baby has some complications or if 'momma' isn't getting enough oxygen…" Christy said while she shuddered. "I just hope that doesn't happen."

"It won't," Rick said optimally as he nearly propped up his book once more to indicate that the brief talk was over. Christy knew that complicated deliveries wasn't a foreign concept to Rick as he lost his late wife when she gave birth to Judith. She could see the withdrawn look on his face when she disclosed her trepidation. But then he glanced back up to Christy and gave a reassuring gaze. "You'll do great."

Christy felt some warmth at his attempt to make her nerves more at ease as she opened up her book once more. Ashlyn was going to give birth and had gone into labor earlier that morning. Terri thought it would be good training for both Yolanda and Christy to assist as they were both close friends to Ashlyn as well.

Out of the corner of her eye, Christy saw Megan and Maggie walking into the foyer as Maggie had her young baby in her arms. Megan circled the couch and sat beside Christy. "They aren't here yet?" She asked while sounding slightly worried. "They said that they were going to be here before midnight."

"They radioed in that there was a minor delay before they left," Rick clarified as Christy tilted her head in disbelief that he didn't say anything about it until then. Rick only shrugged and went back to his notes. "I thought I said something about that before."

"This is why women seem to take care of things a lot quicker," Maggie quipped as Rick rolled his eyes. "I bet it wasn't even Dwight that called to tell you about it. It was Sherry, wasn't it?"

Rick didn't have to say anything for them to know the answer as they all snickered at his lack of response. Maggie stayed standing up while rocking her two week old baby Hershel. Christy had a lot of time to hold him already during the day but was still watching Maggie with slight envy. Cuddling with babies was her favorite. She hoped for plenty of time with the newest baby that was going to make an appearance in the near future.

They heard some commotion outside and a horse whinnying as Christy and Megan exchanged looks of excitement. "Do you think it's them?" Christy asked as she looked to Rick optimistically.

Rick took time away from his paperwork then glanced at his watch and looked to the Christy with a nod and a brief smile that was quickly masked by his usual even face. Christy hastily placed her book down on the coffee table and walked to the front door with Megan following behind her. With a blanket over her shoulders and socks covering her feet, she reached the door and stared through the peephole to see if it was who she wanted it to be. "It's them!" She exclaimed. With that, she opened the door.

…

Sherry knocked on the door with Amber beside her as they both looked to each other with slight relief. Ultimately, Sherry was happy with the life that she had even though there were a couple of things that she could have lived without. Residing in Sanctuary was one of them. They weren't waiting long as the door quickly opened as she saw Megan and Christy greet them with great enthusiasm. Sherry caught a glimpse of inside the foyer to see a Christmas tree in the corner of the room and several other decorations that took over the space. The atmosphere was warm and very welcoming.

"Hello, _Barb!"_ Sherry said delightedly as Christy's face immediately beamed from seeing an old friend. It had only been several weeks since they last saw each other but under the circumstances, they were all overjoyed to be together. It was the first time that Negan's "ex-wives" were all in one place since the longwinded battle with the Saviors. Sherry always made a point to visit either Hilltop or Alexandria once a week. Rick had always sought her help on some things going on in Alexandria but she really wanted to visit her friends and get out of Sanctuary. It was definitely a breath of fresh air to converse with her kindred souls for the next several days with no other cares.

Amber said a hello behind Sherry as they both hugged Christy while Megan joined in. "Where's Mark and Dwight?" Megan asked with her usual sweet voice. Megan chose to reside in Hilltop with Ashlyn but also to be near Takuya's burial site where Sherry had been told that she visited more than once a day. She was known by many other Hilltop residents to simply read beside Takuya's grave in silence. It still hurt Sherry to think that their relationship would forever be unexplored.

"They are putting the horses in the barn," Sherry explained as they walked inside the mansion with their things. "That was nice of Earl to think about making every community a sleigh to get around during the winter."

"He's already making more to add to it," Rick piped in as he limped towards Sherry to greet her. They both hugged tightly as old friends would. Sherry noticed that his crutch was absent and that he seemed to get by without it fairly well. Their reunion time was broken up soon as Rick broke apart and handed her some papers.

Sherry raised an eyebrow and looked to Rick while trying to hide a grin. "Uh-oh, what are these?" She asked hesitantly.

"Just a few more things to go over with crops and who is growing what," Rick clarified as she watched the other women walk towards the kitchen. They all knew that Sherry was a part of some business that happened in regards to organizing things on the Alexandrian and Sanctuary side alike. "I don't have a lot of time to dedicate to this and we're almost in season to prune the plants that we already have growing. I could use someone's help with this."

She sighed but gave it a glance over. "Carol can't help?" Sherry questioned and looked up to Rick with a somewhat demanding stare.

"Still healing and taking things slow," Rick justified on Carol's behalf as Sherry could understand since she took a while to heal from her gunshot wound herself. "She's not young like you are."

Sherry snorted at his attempt to patronize and just shook her head. "You know I'm just going to go down with the list of names with who is in Alexandria," Sherry teased but knew that everyone was already previously engaged with other work. Michonne moved to the Kingdom. Sasha was in charge of security and was already swamped. Aaron focused on road clearing. They all had jobs to do. Sherry could argue that running Sanctuary with Dwight wasn't an easy job in and of itself. However, Rick knew that Alexandria was almost a passion project to her. Whenever she stayed in Alexandria, she always resided at Deanna's house and would go over plans that were already in the works. It wasn't a secret that Sanctuary was wearing on both Dwight and Sherry with the daily problems that they faced. Sherry enjoyed working in Alexandria versus Sanctuary and visited often because of it.

"I'll think about it," Sherry answered and looked up to Rick confidently. "On the condition that no one touches those grapevines without my say-so."

"Grapevines are off limits then," Rick responded with a smile. "I heard you say that Dwight is in the barn?"

Sherry nodded. "I'm sure that you two will have a lot to talk about."

Rick looked to her immediately troubled by the news and her tone which bore some forewarning. "New setbacks?" He asked.

"No, just the same ones but more trouble added to it," Sherry said vaguely and started walking towards the kitchen once more. "Like I said, you two have a lot to discuss."

Sherry rejoined her friends as they were talking about this or that while Amber held young Hershel close to her with Maggie standing nearby. It didn't look like Amber was that experienced with holding a baby as Sherry and Maggie exchanged a look of slight worry but more humor. Sherry took her place beside Megan and leaned against the kitchen counter.

"How's Ashlyn doing?" Sherry asked Megan. That was the main reason why they were in Hilltop to show their support.

"Terri and Yolanda are with her now trying to help her breathe through it," Megan answered. They didn't have a lot of medicine to numb the pain of giving birth. "She's been in labor for almost sixteen hours."

"I can't even imagine," Sherry said while taking a deep breath. She didn't experience labor before and knew that she probably never would as it was difficult to get pregnant at all. Yet she heard stories that a non-drug labor was an excruciating ordeal.

"Was your trip long?" Christy asked them as Amber continued to coo at the young baby who started to fuss.

"Not too long," Amber replied while quickly handing Hershel back to Maggie when his crying was more than she could handle. "It only started snowing for the last ten minutes of our trek." Amber then turned her full attention to Maggie while the young mother rocked her baby. He soon calmed down as he sensed he was back in the arms of someone familiar. "What is that building going up for that's next to the barn?" Amber inquired.

"We're making more living space for our people," Maggie said with pride. "Tobin is taking care of all the construction within Hilltop and Alexandria since they both have similar layouts. He's making small apartments for new group members that come to either community."

"And it looks like Hilltop is expanding their boundaries as well," Christy commented as she sat at a small table. "Alexandria is planning to do that within the next month."

"That's impressive!" Amber stated. "All we do is tell people to move to the different communities instead of…" She started to say but Sherry coughed loudly and shook her head. Amber stared at her with confusion but then saw her give a look of warning. Amber pursed her lips together and smiled awkwardly. The setbacks were definitely preventing them from welcoming any group in their walls. For their sake.

…

Dwight parked the sleigh beside the barn then proceeded to take the two horses inside the stable to feed them and make sure that they were comfortable. Mark quickly started complaining about the freezing temperature as Dwight dismissed him and took care of the rest by himself. He took a deep breath as he pulled on the horses' reins and led them inside the barn. It was going to be a nice change of pace to have a couple of days that consisted of nothing but being with family and friends.

As if on cue, a figure shuffled inside the barn while Dwight was putting each horse in their separate stable. "See you made it in one piece?" Rick asked.

"My nine toes nearly froze off but yeah, we made it," Dwight replied with a grin as they both patted each other on the back in greeting. "I see that you are getting around a little easier."

"I'm trying," Rick said while Dwight walked over to the bucket of grains to scoop a large amount for the horses. Rick made himself comfortable on a bench that lined the other side. "Terri still says that I'm pushing it and that I should continue to use a crutch or cane."

"Maybe you should listen to her," Dwight offered jokingly.

Instead of Rick responding to Dwight's mocking, he could sense Rick wanting to discuss something and knew that he was a man of business. "Did Sherry already tell you?" He asked with a smile while tending to the animals.

"She said that the same problems are occurring, yes," Rick told evenly as he folded his arms over his coat jacket. "How many men have you exiled from Sanctuary?"

"Couple dozen," Dwight answered regretfully. "Gotta weed out the ones who are still loyal to Negan… But the more I exile, the more numbers they have where they try and bring our fences down. They have attacked us twice this week. And they are bringing along walker herds with them too."

"Have they successfully torn the fences down?" Rick questioned as he leaned against the barn wall.

"Once on the side closest to the mill," Dwight admitted as he took a seat beside him.

Rick sighed in consternation that it was still happening. A setback to one community was a setback to all. It was less people to organize and more trouble to deal with. It meant that other communities had to pull Sanctuary's weight and fight their battles if it wasn't a surprise. Usually, the exiled Saviors attacked at night in covert. Dwight didn't have time to alert other groups for help as all hands needed to be on deck the minute bullets started flying or a fire began.

"You holding up?" Rick asked. "Who's watching over Sanctuary right now?"

"Miguel is taking care of everything while I'm gone," Dwight replied as he leaned his head back against the wooden planked wall. "I don't know… With us being attacked at least six times a month, it's doesn't leave a lot of time to organize much else. Plus, I fucking blew up our two buildings that had the best vantage points. At this rate, I don't know how much longer Sanctuary can hold out as a reliable community. The only thing that we can provide is road clearing and helping Eugene with making ammunition. Seeing as we are the community that needs it the most right now."

"That's something for now," Rick replied and looked to Dwight. "You doing alright? I noticed you've been joining Sherry when she makes her weekly visits to another community."

"Yeah, I don't really like staying in Sanctuary that much either," Dwight revealed with a huff. "I _should_ pay more attention to Sanctuary but lately I've been fried with everything going on. I think I bit off more than I can chew."

"Have you killed anyone since seven months ago?" Rick questioned.

Dwight took a moment to answer but shook his head. "No," Dwight lied. There was one strict rule that each community was supposed to abide by since their war against the Saviors. They would be no killing. Dwight had his reasons behind each kill as it limited the control that the exiled Saviors had on the outside. It was definitely a conversation that he needed to have with Rick. But then wasn't the time.

…

"Dwight!" Someone said happily when he walked in the foyer from outside. He sat his one bag down as Yolanda rushed over to him from sitting beside the Christmas tree in the far corner of the large room. She put her arms around him in a tight embrace as he did so in return. He smiled down at her as they broke apart as they walked further into the room to sit down.

"Where are the kiddos and Kevin?" Dwight asked as he looked around the somewhat crowded living space. He settled down on the couch that was parallel to the fireplace as Yolanda sat on an armchair beside him.

"Jenna and Terri's kids are asleep!" Yolanda said as she pointed outside. "It's midnight, Dwight! And Kevin went to bed as well. He offered to help with the livestock early in the morning because most of us are staying up so late for Ashlyn."

"How is she doing?" Dwight inquired as he saw Sherry sitting beside the Christmas tree along with her friends as they talked to each other with animated excitement. Dwight smirked at the sight before him as it was good to see Sherry so happy and alive.

"Ashlyn is getting a little tired from the contractions but Terri and Carson are still up with her," Yolanda relayed. "Carson is taking the responsibility as awaiting father very seriously."

Not that many people knew that Carson wasn't the real father but both Yolanda and Dwight gave each other a knowing gaze for a brief second. Carson offered to help conceal the baby's origin from the general public to protect Ashlyn's future child. Negan was still alive but incarcerated. If he knew that he even had offspring, it wouldn't go over well with him or the exiled Saviors that were already knocking on Sanctuary's door. Carson's offer delved into a deeper level as over the last seven months, Ashlyn and Carson began a relationship with each other. He was glad that Carson was happy and that they both had seemingly moved on from their brutal past.

"No Christmas trees yet in Sanctuary?" Yolanda asked Dwight as he looked around the room and took a sigh of complete relaxation. He saw as Sherry and her friends talked to each other beside the tree and saw her laugh at something Maggie said. He enjoyed seeing her smile. As her boyfriend, it hurt to see her dislike the surroundings that were their home; or what was supposed to be their home. They had lived in Sanctuary for three years and yet it still felt like a hollow place to endure the hardships in life. Every corner and every turn reminded both of them of a time that they wished to forget. Negan's old house, the front of the court house, inside the court house altogether, even Dwight's house became a place of mental turmoil.

It was a burning idea in Dwight's mind that they both needed to get away from Sanctuary permanently. However, every time he entertained the thought of saying a final goodbye to the terrible community, he was reminded of the overwhelming obligations that he had to the people who still resided in Sanctuary. The people in Sanctuary generally weren't the best in regards to their moral character. When Negan left, some men thought it was a free for all with the codes of human decency that were firmly placed. Men with families left for the safety of their wives and children. Dwight wasn't left with a lot of decent souls because of it. Sanctuary was more than a fixer upper. He considered it more of a lost cause.

Dwight had made his visits to other towns more frequent in the last several months and would often go wherever Sherry felt she was needed. She mostly spent time in Alexandria with Terri and Yolanda. Dwight would feign that he had business to attend to but he really only wanted to get away just as much as she did. Dwight wasn't a moron. He could tell that Sherry was much happier outside of Sanctuary. The contrast was black and white with her demeanor and the way that she carried herself. Sherry was her old self in Alexandria and took on a lot of responsibilities in leadership. Sherry was a shell in Sanctuary and was dying a slow death in a prison cell that threatened to eat her alive. Dwight considered Sherry to be a part of his family. They weren't married but as her significant other, he took it upon himself to keep Sherry full of life to reach her full potential. To him, it took more precedence than keeping a failing city from crashing down. Above all, he made a promise to her that he would make her life better. It was important to him to keep that promise.

"Dwight?" Yolanda questioned as Dwight was brought back to the present.

"I'm sorry, Yolie. What did you ask?" He inquired but still felt drawn towards his girlfriend who just appeared in better spirits away from what was considered their home.

"Don't worry about it," Yolanda responded and patted Dwight's back. "I can tell that your mind is on something else." She had a slight teasing in her voice when she said it as Dwight knew he had been caught not paying attention. "How is she doing? How is she _really_ doing?" Yolanda inquired as Dwight guessed that she probably sensed his worries before he even voiced them aloud.

Dwight felt the duty of both his jobs at a standoff when she asked him that. There was Sanctuary and there was Sherry. As he looked at Sherry and Maggie talk to each other, Maggie gestured down to her son and glanced up to Sherry in question. Sherry gazed at both Hershel then Maggie and appeared as if she was going to protest but Maggie insisted as she carefully placed Hershel in Sherry's arms. Sherry's face could be read as awe as she looked at all her friends to see the small moment that she was having. They all admired the scene in adoration as they continued to talk amongst themselves.

"She's doing okay," Dwight finally responded. "There are times where I think I can be doing better to make her life easier. I don't know, I think she needs to get out of Sanctuary permanently." Dwight then confessed in earnest.

"She won't leave you behind, Dwight," Yolanda divulged. "She loves you too much to abandon you."

Just then, Sherry spotted Dwight as they locked eyes on each other from across the room. She continued to hold Hershel as they both exchanged looks of simply joy with a mix of exhaustion. Dwight only regretted that their vacation couldn't last a little bit longer to hold onto what they had in that moment.

…

"It'll be nice when we have the building finished for our guests and new members," Maggie commented as she guided both Dwight and Sherry upstairs. Dwight carried both of their bags while they trailed behind Maggie as she walked through the upstairs hallway and towards the furthest room. "This room used to belong to Gregory. However, since I took over his job, he has stated numerous times that he feels uncomfortable in this house. I think he was just trying to prove a point though."

Dwight and Sherry looked to each other as Dwight stared at her with some apprehension. As a couple, they were taking things dramatically slow. Dwight didn't blame her for wanting to take things at a gradual pace and he never once tried to push her along to satisfy his own needs. Yet from the looks of where Maggie was taking them, it looked like they were going to be bunking in the same space. Which hadn't happened since they arrived in Sanctuary. Sherry was too nice to say anything or inconvenience Maggie by asking for another room so she stayed silent and just smiled in a friendly manner.

"Oh, well, we don't need something really big or elaborate," Dwight started to say as Maggie opened the door to their room. Dwight looked at the room and saw one bed and even their personal bathroom. It was nice and in any other setting, it would have been really romantic in a way. However, he still worried about Sherry and how she would react to the situation.

"This is honestly the only room available at the time. We have a lot of guests coming in for our Christmas dinner in a couple of days," Maggie explained. "Don't worry about it! You aren't putting us out for being in here."

Sherry looked specifically at the one bed then glanced at Dwight as her face reddened. "This room is very nice," Dwight stammered out but looked to Maggie with regret. "Where's Daryl bunking? I could…"

"It's perfect," Sherry managed to say over Dwight and she looked to Maggie with reassurance. "Thanks for letting us stay here."

"Anytime," Maggie said kindly as she could hear Hershel start crying in the foyer. "He's a clingy baby that one is. Let me go save Rick." With that, she walked out of the room and left the two of them alone.

Dwight smiled awkwardly at Sherry and walked over to the nightstand to feign casualness and like their room wasn't a big deal or out of the ordinary. She just watched him with a small smile as he tended to act very awkward in situations where Sherry could potentially be uncomfortable. There was an angel figurine that stood on the surface of the nightstand. Dwight appeared suddenly very interested in the art piece to avoid eye contact but unfortunately broke the angel's arm off when he touched it at first contact. It plummeted to the ground as Dwight fidgeted in his spot unsure of what to do or say next but then looked who tried to keep herself from laughing at his blunder.

"I can just stay in Daryl's room." Dwight finally said. "Seriously, Sher, I don't have to be in here if you don't want me to."

Sherry took a deep breath but looked to Dwight semi-confidently. "It's fine, Dwight. I think I can handle it."

Dwight was surprised at her answer and gawked at her. "Really?" He asked.

"Yeah, it's been a while since…stuff happened so I think it's about time to test where I stand with some things," Sherry reasoned more for herself. "Don't you think?"

Dwight tried not to get his hopes up but smiled at her anyways. He was glad that she always tried to make an effort but didn't want her to overexert herself when she wasn't emotionally prepared to take on several things. He stepped over to her and put a hand on the side of her face. She lifted her head up to look him in the eyes as he kissed her gently. Dwight wasn't incredibly selfish, but if Sherry wanted to test some things, he would gladly volunteer to spend time with her in any way possible.

…

Sherry started gagging as she raced towards the toilet in their private bathroom. She then threw up and started to cry as she put her hands to her forehead and propped her head up with her elbows. She sat on the bathroom floor and felt another wave of nausea as she got into position to puke once more. Tears of embarrassment escaped as she felt Dwight carefully gather her hair and hold it behind her shoulders.

He got down on his knees behind her and rubbed her back with a worry and guilt taking over him. Testing the waters was something that Sherry wanted to do. But he wondered if he took it too far. It was honestly the furthest that they have ever gotten in a sexual aspect since they last slept together two years ago. Some items of clothing were removed as Sherry started to hyperventilate out of nowhere. Sherry immediately tensed up and they ended up in the bathroom.

He was the cause of her pain. At least he felt like he was. He knew that a life after what Negan did to her wasn't going to be an easy recovery but he felt that he wasn't helping the situation one bit. He had no idea how to ease Sherry's healing process.

She finished and sat back with tears in her eyes as she looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry," she said weakly.

"What did I do?" Dwight asked while wanting to know if he could do something different then what he did. "If I did something wrong…"

"No!" Sherry said swiftly cutting him off. "You didn't do anything." She didn't know what to say. She felt inadequate when it came to being with Dwight the way that he wanted to. She felt a guilt sink in as she realized the sad truth that she was probably ruined forever because of the events that transpired for the last several years.

Everything in her environment triggered her to panic. It was living in Sanctuary. Even though it was different and under new management, every place reminded her of things that she wanted to forget. When the events were happening, she was able to continually live in a funk. But as she started getting out of her depression, the places in Sanctuary and even simple tasks outside of it would haunt her and pull her back in.

She looked to Dwight as she sniffled. "I wish I could tell you that I would never act like this every time we tried doing anything like a real couple but I can't promise you that." She said but then emotion settled in as she put her hands to her face and started crying uncontrollably from the heartache that she felt. "I don't think it's fair to you to be with me."

Dwight couldn't believe his ears as he heard her say that they shouldn't be together anymore. They had already been through too much for him to even throw in the towel. "Sherry, that's never going to be an option." He said assuredly but then worry sunk. "…Unless you want me to leave. Do you?"

She shook her head. "I just can't do this to you, Dwight," She said sadly.

Dwight sat in thought and wondered where the happy middle would be for them at this point in their relationship. He wanted to help her and be with her every minute of the day. He brain stormed as she stood up, washed her face in the sink, and then leaned against the bathroom countertop.

She folded her arms and looked at him while trying to read his thoughts. "What are you thinking?" Sherry finally asked.

Dwight twiddled his thumbs and looked at her. "I'm just thinking of a better alternative then calling it quits. I don't want that to happen and neither do you. So that's not gonna happen. We'll try and fix whatever before that happens." He said. "Are we on the same page with that?"

Sherry took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Yes…" She said but didn't finish.

Dwight could hear her sentence float as he prodded her to say more. "But?" He asked.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Dwight, I am broken right now. I don't know when I'll be able to function like a normal person. I feel like a jerk dragging you down with me when I don't know how long I'll be like this. I want to be with you but I don't want to ask you to be with me when it's going to be this difficult. I want to give you a way out." She explained.

He got up from his spot on the bathroom floor and stood in front of her. "You don't have to ask me to do anything. I am already committed and invested in our relationship. I will always be there when you need me." He reaffirmed.

"So what do we do?" Sherry gazed at him with pleading eyes as she was unsure how to pick up the pieces of their lives before.

Dwight looked around deep in thought but then thought of something quickly that had the potential to work. "Let's take time off of being a couple... Only with some things. I'm just talking about the physical aspects. It's necessary eventually but for right now we need to build a relationship on trust. Right now, you don't need a physical partner. You just need a friend to talk to. And I get that." Dwight said.

Sherry looked to him. "I can't ask you to go without sex, Dwight. That's still not fair to you." She said.

Dwight folded his arms and smiled. "I have gone without sex for a good two and a half years now. What's a little more time going to do?" He asked and winked.

Sherry put her forehead on his chest feeling defeat sink in. "I'm so sorry." She said in defeat.

"Don't be sorry. I signed up for this. And look at it this way. You have given me a way out and I refused to take it. I'm with you, Sher." Dwight said. "The idea of seeing other people just doesn't sound right. I couldn't do that to myself when I know the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with is hurting."

Sherry groaned as she started crying again. "Why are you so good to me?" She said as she buried her head into his shirt.

"You make it easy," He said and gave her a gentle hug.

"I love you." Sherry said as she looked up to him with tears falling down her cheeks.

He took a thumb to her face and wiped a tear away. "I love you too." He replied and looked into her eyes with sincerity. Just then, they both heard a knock at the door as Dwight gave her a small kiss then went to go answer it. He felt he was decent enough with just boxer and an undershirt and knew Sherry needed more time to collect herself before speaking to someone else.

When he opened the door, it was Yolanda who looked slightly frazzled. "Hey, Yolie. What's up?" Dwight asked as he noticed her mood.

"It's Ashlyn," Yolanda stated on high alert. "She's ten centimeters dilated and Doctor Carson just broke her water. It's time."

Dwight looked behind the door to see if Sherry heard what she said as Sherry immediately started getting her sweatshirt and jeans back on to be there for her friend. It was something that they had long awaited. Ashlyn was finally going to give birth.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, & FACTS –**

 **#1 – I'll admit, whenever I write for Sherry speaking with her friends (Megan, Amber, Ashlyn, and Christy), I listen to Little Women or Pride & Prejudice for inspiration of that close friendship amongst sisters. I still maintain that is pretty much what they became in their mutual trauma. At one point, they are all each other had to uplift, to imagine, and to forget.**

 **#2 – We all know Alexandria is the kind of group that likes to celebrate. Holidays aren't any different. I think that their hopes to keep traditions alive would spread. But as you can tell, Sanctuary does have some other things to deal with than decorations. Otherwise, I'm sure that they would be onboard with the ideas to liven up everyone's mood. But alas, Sanctuary is still a dark and dreary place. And the evils within their walls cannot be easily set aside. (Dang, that sentence sounded very Lord of the Rings, didn't it?)**

 **#3 – No, Dwight and Sherry didn't just break up! I call bullshit on whoever says that you HAVE to have sex to have an intimate relationship. That doesn't mean that they will go celibate forever either… or will they? No, what happened to Sherry is a lot of emotional layers to peel away at. There are a lot of things that she has to sort through before jumping into another relationship. Love is careful and patient. I think Dwight & Sherry both understand that and don't want to take things too fast to destroy the special connection that they have. They also know that time can be taken away from them. But that's not a reason to jump into something that you aren't mentally ready for. Baby steps.**

 **#4 -**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 _Early morning, December 24, 2013_

Sherry had been invited to stay in the room during the delivery and assist Ashlyn. As she walked inside the already busy room, she saw Doctor Harlan Carson greet her with a quick smile but then went back to concentrating on his work before it officially began. Terri, Yolanda, and Christy were all in one corner as they prepared the area where the baby was going to be cleaned up afterwards.

Ashlyn was sitting on an actual hospital bed which was slightly lifted up for her to lean back comfortably. She had a wash cloth on her forehead as her eyes clinched shut with her mouth in a tight line. Already Sherry could tell that she was in terrible pain. Carson glanced up to see Sherry take her place at Ashlyn's other side while he held one of Ashlyn's hands as it sat on top of his leg. Sherry saw the vise grip that Ashlyn had on his palm but he didn't react to it. By comparison, she was in a whole lot more discomfort than he was.

"How is she?" Sherry whispered. There were several monitors that Harlan attached to Ashlyn to see where she was in regards to contractions. Sherry saw one monitor as a line began climbing to indicate that she was experiencing a fierce amount of pressure. Sherry looked to Ashlyn and saw that she was forcing herself to relax at all cost. If Sherry was in her shoes, she would be screaming up to high heaven by then.

"Tired," Carson responded as he also sounded like he could be defined in the same description. "Seventeen and a half hours of this shit…"

Sherry groaned upon hearing how long Ashlyn had been in her stage and knew that her suffering only increased since that morning. She didn't have any medicine to ease her agony. Sherry reached for Ashlyn's other hand in comfort as Ashlyn gladly accepted the gesture and gripped it tightly. Sherry winced ever so slightly but didn't let go. That was what she was there for.

The contraction subsided as Ashlyn took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She noticed Sherry sitting beside her and gave an exhausted smile. "I'm starting to wonder if I made the right choice," Ashlyn breathed an apparent feebleness.

Sherry put a hand to Ashlyn's shoulder and gave a warm grin in response. "I'm here for you," Sherry offered. "You're almost done."

"I hope so," Ashlyn answered quietly. Carson removed the wash cloth from her forehead. Sherry then stroked her fingers against the side of Ashlyn's face with obvious tenderness and adoration for the woman. They each had previously expressed their love for each other multiple times. It was within their actions that solidified the statement. Negan's wives all experienced the same humiliation at being forced by his side. It was in those rough few years that they relied on one another for comfort. Even if that part of their life was over, their loyalty remained an ever-present fixture in their relationship.

A tear fell down Ashlyn's face as she looked up to Sherry with appreciation. "I have something important that I want to tell you," she began to say but was interrupted by another contraction. She gripped Sherry's hand tightly once more but tried to relax her body to ease the pain in some small way.

"Good timing," Harlan said as he made the final preparation before things began. "Next contraction we are ready for you to start pushing."

Carson and Harlan both exchanged a look between brothers as Harlan nodded that everything was going to be okay. Carson silently acknowledged his brother's small affirmation but still appeared worried for his girlfriend; the person that he chose to be his life companion.

"When her contraction is through, I am going to put her legs on the stirrups and sit her up more to see if that's a good position for her to push," Harlan explained then glanced to both his younger brother and Sherry. "I need you both to hold her knees towards her chest once she is finished breathing through this one."

Ashlyn relaxed once more and opened her eyes. Harlan smiled kindly. "I'm ready to meet my niece or nephew," he said and gazed at her with support. "You ready to meet your baby?"

She started to weep slightly with a nod as Carson kissed the top of her forehead. Sherry held her hand as they prepared her hospital bed to sit up more then brought her knees to her chest as instructed. Christy looked over Harlan's shoulder tentatively and took a deep breath. Christy and Sherry then made eye contact as their faces carried an equal amount of worry. Sherry only hoped that the time would be swift for Ashlyn's sake and wasn't sure how much more she could endure.

…

Megan sat beside Dwight as they waited to hear what was going on upstairs. Amber had a book on her lap as Mark sat by the fire while lost in thought. They said nothing to each other as they only hoped that everything would go smoothly. Dwight kept on looking at the clock and saw that an almost hour passed since him and Sherry were alerted that Ashlyn was ready to deliver. They then heard Ashlyn start wailing and gasping for air. Harlan said that she was doing a great job and encouraged her to keep pushing.

Amber placed the book down and leaned forward as she could no longer concentrate on the novel's pages. She rested her hand underneath her chin and exhaled in impatience. Megan then got up and started pacing while biting one of her fingernails.

 _Soon,_ Dwight thought. He could physically feel the weight in the room be very strained. He could only imagine what it felt like in Carson's shoes. A part of Dwight was almost glad that he never had to have the same stress in regards to Sherry. As he continued to hear Ashlyn struggle, he stood up knowing that he couldn't stand it any longer. He left the mansion to go smoke a cigarette and figured that if anyone needed him that he would just be outside. That was a situation that definitely called for a nicotine fix.

…

"Alright, you're doing great, Ashlyn," Harlan applauded as he focused on the process. "I can see a full head of hair. That baby's head is almost all the way through. Just a couple more pushes."

Ashlyn began pushing again while Sherry peeked over to see for herself. When she could see a forehead, she gazed back to Ashlyn with encouragement in her eyes. "So close! You're almost done!"

A look of anguish formed on Ashlyn's face as she started to pant for breath. "I don't feel so great," she admitted while gasping for air. "I don't know if I can do this."

Harlan stared at Ashlyn as a look of brief disturbance overcame him. Sherry noticed Harlan's change of disposition then looked at Ashlyn while feeling slightly worried. Ashlyn appeared pale in comparison to Carson's skin color which before were pretty matched. She was almost as white as a ghost. The feeling of anxiety started to arise as Harlan merged onward while focusing on the main problem at hand. "Ashlyn, give us one more big push," Harlan suggested lightly. "One final push and I think it will all be over. Can you do that for us?"

Carson put a hand on Ashlyn's head as her attention was turned to him. "You got this, Ashlyn. Once it's all over, you can sleep a bit nut right now you have to push."

Feeling buoyed up by the people around her, Sherry then saw another contraction working its way upwards from the monitor behind Carson. Ashlyn then felt the need to push and scrunched up her face with a new determination. If more push was all it took to stop all the pain, then she would do it to finally end her torment.

"And…" Harland began as he helped her along. He pulled gently while easing the baby away from Ashlyn. Sherry again looked out of curiosity to see that Ashlyn was making great progress. Once the shoulders were out, the baby was liberated at long lost as Harlan caught it in one fell swoop. Harlan brought the baby up for Carson and Ashlyn to see and smiled with happiness of his own. "Congratulations. It's a girl."

Ashlyn stared at her baby in fascination as her head leaned back against the mattress in sweet relief. "Noelle," she whispered. "Noelle Amanda Carson."

Carson and Sherry couldn't refrain their own tears from the moment that they had all just experienced together. Sherry looked at the baby and could see her beautiful round face already bore a striking resemblance to both Ashlyn and her late sister. The baby was all Ashlyn. She couldn't see any sight of Negan. For which Sherry was alleviated.

The magnificent satisfaction that appeared on Ashlyn's face then started to dwindle away as her eyes fluttered closed. The hair on Sherry's arms rose in alarm as he looked to Harlan and Terri to see if that was supposed to happen. Their faces then gave her more reason to be afraid as they stood sharp and ready to act for such a terrible moment that had recently befell all of them.

"Barbara," Harlan said as he quickly handed the baby to her but with equal care. "Clean her off and make sure that her airways are all clear. Terri, I need you to help me with this." Christy took the newborn in her arms as Yolanda followed behind her to help. They made a quick exit out of the room so the baby's crying wouldn't be another distraction while Harlan did what he had to do.

Every word that Harlan said was urgent as he watched Terri grab for the oxygen tank. Sherry moved away from the scene so they could work on Ashlyn. Carson was less reluctant to do so as Harlan nodded towards Terri to take his brother away. Terri tried but Carson stayed by Ashlyn's side with tears streaming down his face. They had so much to look forward to only for it to all be taken away before they really even began.

Terri looked to Sherry with desperation as she knew that she was the only one that could help. Harlan needed assistance with Ashlyn and they didn't need to worry about Carson watching over their shoulder. As much as he needed to be by her side, he had to leave so they could concentrate to the best of their ability.

Sherry stepped over towards Carson and started tugging on his arm. "We have to go," Sherry urged. "Your brother will take care of her, Carson. We have to let them work right now."

Carson appeared as if in a daze while looking towards Sherry then back to Ashlyn in flustered remorse. "I can't leave her," Carson confessed in complete sorrow.

"Carson," Harlan began as he looked to his younger brother with deep sympathy. It was the first time that Harlan wasn't distracted with anything as getting Carson out of the room took precedence. "We will do everything we can. You just need to trust us; trust me."

Sherry watched as Carson took a deep shaky breath. Things went from joyful to bitter in a matter of less than a minute. Sherry felt the cheerlessness in her own heart as she continued to try and usher Carson away. After what seemed like hours but was really only a few moments, Carson followed Sherry's lead and walked out of the room.

The second Sherry shut the door to give them privacy, Carson removed his glasses and brought both hands to his face as he openly cried into them. Sherry was quick to offer him some comfort as she needed it as well. The blame would swiftly go to Negan if Ashlyn died. Like many other things that he was responsible for, Sherry would just add it to the still-growing list. Carson wrapped his arms around Sherry and sobbed into her shoulder. Sherry did the same and didn't plan on going anywhere else until Ashlyn was in the clear. She couldn't imagine the distress that befell him at the time. If Ashlyn passed, Carson would raise her child alone; a child that wasn't even biologically his. It was in Carson's character to do so but the fact still seemed like salt in an already open wound.

…

When Dwight walked back into the mansion to see if there was any progress, there was no one within the foyer. He could hear a man crying from above and looked up the staircase to hear Rick and Sherry trying to console what almost sounded like Carson.

Dread overtook him as the worst case scenario played in his head. In the matter of minutes that he was outside, Ashlyn was either dead or dying. What was going to be a relaxing and carefree couple of days ended up taking a turn for something terrible.

Dwight then heard a baby cry and assumed it was Hershel. He stepped into the larger office next to the foyer and sat on the couch while wondering what to do. He was sure that Megan, Mark, and Amber were called to help with something or another as they were nowhere to be found. Dwight decided to wait and not be in the way. If they needed him, he was at the ready.

The crying started to subsite and sounded like someone was walking towards his direction. Expecting it to be Maggie and Hershel, he was surprised to see Christy come into view instead. The baby was covered by a blanket as Christy appeared completely frazzled and just as confused as Dwight felt. He stood up to greet her and perhaps assist where he could.

"What's going on?" Dwight asked as Christy looked to be bordering on losing it.

"Ashlyn is under a lot of stress right now," Christy explained as tears started to flow. She kept the newborn close to her chest in a form of comfort but kept her crying quiet to not disturb the sleeping baby. "What if we lose her?"

Dwight nodded as he worried for both Ashlyn and Carson. The whole tribulation of having Negan's child wasn't easy for either of them and adding onto the weight wasn't helping. Dwight saw that Christy had called everyone to do something to help besides him. Each person had a job to do as they tried to save Ashlyn's life. He didn't want to be the only guy that was doing nothing. "What do you need me to do?" Dwight asked.

Christy glanced down at the baby in her arms and then back to Dwight. "I need to get back up there and see if I can do anything," Christy started as Dwight's shoulders sank. That wasn't the job he had in mind or wanted. "She's cleaned up, has a diaper, and is asleep. Just hold her until I can come get her. Please?"

Dwight grinded his teeth while not particularly looking forward to holding Negan's offspring. He exhaled deeply and tried to take a brief glimpse of the newborn as its face was partially hidden behind a blanket. He still didn't get a good peek but assumed the baby had horns and came into the world with a mini baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire; a spitting image of her biological father. Christy still looked at him hopefully as he tried to find any excuse to be uninvolved with the child's life as much as possible. "Um, I have never held a baby before…" Dwight started to say.

"It's easy," Christy hastily assured as she began handing Dwight the baby girl while Dwight nearly stepped backwards to avoid the situation altogether. There was a mixture of emotion. One, even though Carson was going to raise the baby as his own, Dwight still knew where it came from. He honestly didn't know if he could personally get over that. Two, he already broke an angel statue earlier that night just by touching it and considered a newborn baby to be just as fragile; possibly more. Christy kept advancing towards him as Dwight reluctantly held his hands out in moral obligation. _You told her that you would help,_ Dwight thought to himself. "Just make sure that her head is supported and that's pretty much all there is to it." Christy instructed.

When Dwight held her, he was surprised at how light she was. He didn't know why she felt that she needed to be warmer but he immediately had the thought and brought her closer to his chest as he saw Maggie hold Hershel similarly. He thought perhaps it was a universally known tactic to help the baby be comfortable and cry less. "So it's a girl then?" Dwight asked while slightly stunned that he was actually holding a baby.

"They named her Noelle Amanda Carson," Christy informed with small smile but then started walking out of the room. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Whoa, wait…" Dwight said quietly as he watched Christy vanish. There he was in the office all alone with someone else's kid. He had to reassure himself that the baby was sleeping and looked down to see that she appeared normal and not psychotic. _That's what you want me to think,_ Dwight thought but started walking around the office while having a slight rock to his step.

 _Noelle Amanda Carson,_ Dwight thought to himself as he then sat down on the couch carefully. He knew the name had significance with the holiday season but didn't know exactly what it meant. He supposed it had something to do with Jesus. Not the Jesus that he knew personally but the actual deity. He continued to stare down at the baby's face and didn't really see a trace of Negan anywhere. Much like his lack of presence in the child's life, the baby didn't look anything like him. He was of the opinion that babies don't really look like anything other than babies but it was still surprising how quickly he was getting used to it…to her. Amanda was her aunt's name. Dwight remembered the moment where Amanda died just a couple feet away from him and looked down to see that the baby had a full head of hair. _Same hair color as Amanda,_ Dwight thought as he would always vividly remember the detail of Amanda's hair in a frenzy on the porch when she killed herself. It was a graphic memory but he still knew Amanda to be another guiltless victim under Negan's reign. _Just like Noelle is the aftermath._

He thought of the baby's last name. Last names didn't particularly matter in their world anymore but he thought it was still a nice sentiment and tradition. "You lucked out with your last name, that's for damn sure," Dwight said out loud quietly. He wasn't sure why he was talking to someone that didn't understand a word that he said. Yet he continued anyways. "Really lucked out. Carson is a good guy to help out with you. Couldn't have asked for a better dad. Your mom is pretty cool too but that goes without saying. I guess you'll figure that out on your own time. Why the hell am I even talking to you for?"

Just then, he saw Daryl walk into the office as Dwight wondered if he was caught talking to a baby. Daryl didn't say anything about it and instead sat down on a chair next to the fireplace. "Got a name yet?" He asked in his usual grumble.

"Noelle," Dwight replied as the baby rested on his chest. Even though he was hesitant at first, holding a baby made his body feel so calm. He actually enjoyed it more than he thought he would especially since he had been under so much stress with running Sanctuary. "She's pretty chill for just being born less than thirty minutes ago."

Daryl smirked and tried to tilt his head up to get a clearer view of Noelle much like Dwight did before. "Ain't she cold?" He inquired as he stood up beside Dwight.

"See, that's what I thought too," Dwight responded and looked at her again. "But she hasn't complained yet so why should I wake her up and bother her?"

"Hm," Daryl mumbled as he sat next to Dwight and stared intently at the newborn. "Not long after shit went south, when we were at tha' prison, Judith was born. Beth…" Daryl paused for a brief moment but then continued what he had to say. "She kept 'er most of tha' time."

"She did this _thing,"_ Daryl continued. "It was called swaddlin' or some shit like that. Keeps her wrapped up so she stays warm."

Dwight glanced down at Noelle and shrugged while thinking it wasn't a bad idea to try it. "Do you know how to do a swaddle?" He then asked Daryl.

"I never tried it myself, but I seen it done a time 'er two," Daryl explained while he sat up and brought his hands out to take the newborn. "Can't be that hard t'figure out."

Dwight carefully brought the baby in Daryl's care as Daryl gently rocked the fragile being before resting her on the couch between them. He then proceeded to lay the baby's blanket underneath her while the action started exposing her skin to the cold air. Noelle started stirring in her sleep while Dwight felt immediately annoyed for her. "Hurry up," Dwight urged under his breath.

"You asked for my help," Daryl started in his typical growl of a voice. Even though he still sounded relatively calm, Dwight could detect a hint of irritation that was starting to form at the sight of the baby beginning to wiggle from discomfort. "Shut up and lemme' do this."

Daryl continued as Dwight watched while trying to observe for future reference. Once Daryl would try and tuck one hand under a cover then began to focus on the hand, Noelle would lift it up over her head in a stretch. Daryl tried again with the first arm but again she would move her hand much to Daryl's dismay.

"Here," Dwight offered as he held Noelle's arm down so Daryl could continue with the other hand before she froze. Not that there was a worry that she would actually freeze with the fireplace roaring, but the possibility happening lingered in his thoughts.

Dwight held down Noelle's arm as Daryl pressed on in his efforts. He then stopped and looked at what he had so far while shaking his head. "Nah, I think that I was supposed to tuck tha' bottom half first."

They both looked puzzled as Dwight wasn't even sure what to critique as he was lost on any knowledge that was baby related. He simply watched as Daryl fumbled on what came first. Dwight merely assisted as Daryl seemed to go through all the motions but then would correct or second-guess himself then start again. In the meantime, the baby's aggravation seemed to increase.

"Shit, she isn't liking this," Dwight commented while he was waiting for the baby to start crying at any moment like a ticking time bomb.

"No shit, Sherlock," Daryl muttered as he nearly glared up to Dwight, "Baby ain't got all the patience in tha' world and all we're doin' is pissin' her off. Why don't you be helpful and try t'distract her or somethin'?"

Dwight put his hands up in defense while her hands shot up in a stretch over her head once more. Correcting his mistake, he put his grasp back on Noelle and tried to take Daryl's advice so she would calm down.

"Hey…" Dwight said but already felt stupid talking to a baby who didn't even understand a word that he said anyways. "You want to read a book?"

"She can't read, dipshit," Daryl huffed, "Try sayin' something t'make her happy or somethin'."

"What the fuck makes a baby happy?" Dwight quipped back while instantly getting short with Daryl's comment. Noelle started fussing out loud as Dwight made sure his next statement sounded relaxed. "If she's hungry, I can't really help with that…"

"Tell 'er she's pretty or some shit like that," Daryl shot back, "Babies like it when you smile at 'em too. Fuck man, have you _ever_ been around 'ah kid?"

"Not around babies," Dwight answered but went back to trying to make Noelle happy as her crying only made him all the more frustrated.

"She's can tell you're gettin' flustered," Daryl groused, "Calm tha' fuck down and jus' talk to her."

"You barking at me isn't helping either!" Dwight snapped which made Noelle lose it altogether. "Shit!"

"What the hell is goin' on in here?" They both heard behind them and saw Rick walk into the room. He stepped over to the back of the couch to observe the disaster himself.

Dwight tried to think of the first words that came to his mind while trying to make the baby relax. "You're very pretty," Dwight said but it was through gritted teeth. He meant what he said but it didn't translate the way that he intended it to.

"You've gotta' be fuckin' kidding me…" Daryl said in regards to Dwight talking to Noelle so stoically.

"Did you try swaddlin' her?" Rick asked as he bent over to help them out.

Dwight and Daryl both shot him a nasty glare but then went back to their previous business. Dwight put a hand up to his temple and tried to think of what could get the job done swiftly so Noelle could go back to sleeping like she was before.

"Legs tucked in first; arms second," Rick nearly chided as he helped himself to aid them. He successfully put the blanket over Noelle's bare legs but once it came time to wrapping her arms up, she brought them back up over her arms in protest.

"Jesus," Dwight mumbled but then thought better of his tone as Daryl was proving his own theory correct. He looked at Noelle as her lower lip was shaking with vexation. Dwight forced his voice to calm down. "I was just going to say that you and Jesus almost share a birthday…"

"She's gonna' need some help from above puttin' up with your dumbass," Daryl muttered under his breath.

"Well, you guys were a lot of help," Dwight heard Sherry say behind him as she put a hand on his shoulder. Dwight glanced up to her as he could hear the contentment in her voice. Sherry stared back at him as she breathed a heavy sigh. "Ashlyn pulled through. She's okay."

Dwight then became aware of the lack of noise that came from Noelle as he turned his attention towards the newborn. Noelle's cries vanished as she was staring directly towards Sherry almost in recognition. Sherry locked eyes with the little girl as the rest of the room was glad that the wails finally subsided.

As if Sherry had done it a hundred times before, she wrapped Noelle's legs and arms with a firm yet tender touch. Within seconds, the baby was successfully swaddled while Sherry picked her up and held her close. Dwight just sat in amazement that their three-man project was put to rest in such a short amount of time. Sherry was always the one to humble him a bit with the way she did things so easily. That was another one of those moments.

"Ashlyn and Carson want to say hello now," she explained as she looked to each of them with gratitude. "Thanks for...taking care of her for us."

They watched her leave as they were each still trying to recover from the exhausting ordeal that they had all gone through. Rick was the first to speak up as he started walking out of the room. "It's late. I'm going to bed."

"Sounds good t'me," Daryl concurred as he stepped out as well. Dwight felt tired but wasn't sure if he was able to rest just yet. He decided he would step outside one more time to let himself relax a bit. Despite the last stressful minutes, he was glad everything turned out for the better for the sake of Ashlyn's family. It ended being a great night.

…

Sherry and her sisters all sat around Ashlyn's bed as she held her newborn daughter tightly. It was a shared moment between them as they each thought about how far they had come in their own time. Ashlyn seemed to endure the most of all of them but turned her upsetting predicament into something far greater than any of them could have imagined. She had a family with Carson and Noelle. She moved on.

While they all still had a long way to go, that night seemed to give Sherry hope that she would one day be the kind of person that she strived to become. They each had success at their own pace. It seemed to Sherry that she was a little behind everyone else when it came to letting things go. However, seeing Ashlyn hold Noelle made Sherry believe that there was an end to the inner suffering that she felt. With time came the mending. With the loved ones that surrounded her came the remedy. _This too shall pass,_ Father Gabriel once said to her after a service that was provided in Alexandria.

She believed that the day would come that she would feel the fulfillment that everyone was only starting to discover for themselves. They had a lot to clean up from Negan's mess before. Sherry then felt a hand reach for her and saw Megan staring at her while crying. They all felt the peace of that moment. As long as they were together, they could rebuild and grow once more; mentally and physically. Together, they could forget.

…

Dwight sat outside as the front door of the mansion opened. The sun was beginning to rise steadily as Carson breathed in the fresh cold air. He then looked to Dwight standing next to a grave and made his way over. "Paying your respects?" Carson inquired as he glanced at the grave.

"Yeah, I thought I would give Tak a small visit," Dwight said then looked at the grave as he openly missed his long lost friend. Not a day went by that he wondered what life would have been like if he was still around. Clearly, Takuya would help assist him with cleaning up Sanctuary. The task would seem less monotonous had Takuya not met his demise earlier in that year. Miguel and Mark helped as much as they could. However, Takuya was one in a million as Dwight felt his absence every day.

They stood in silence while in the bitter cold as Dwight was reminded of something that he wanted to give Carson as a present under the circumstances. "Here," Dwight said as he reached into his large jacket pocket and handed Carson a wooden rectangular box. "I got something for you to celebrate. Since we're keeping a lot of traditions alive, I figured this would be the best one."

Carson looked at Dwight and grabbed the box from him already knowing what it was. He started to chuckle as he opened it to see Negan's cigars along with a kit to prepare them properly. "If this isn't a metaphorical middle finger to that son of a bitch, I don't know what is." Carson said as he got out two cigars for both of them to have. Dwight took his and got it ready then produced a lighter with a big smile. A lot of Negan's things were given to whoever needed it the most. However, Dwight called dibs on the man's stash of cigars but hadn't used them until that moment. There was plenty more cigars that he kept in his house.

"There was something that Ashlyn and I wanted to tell you guys," Carson said after he took one long inhale of the cigar with an even longer exhale. "A couple of things actually."

Dwight puffed out some smoke and looked to Carson with mild intrigue. "Yeah? News about a baby isn't enough for you two?" He joked with a smile.

"We want you and Sherry to be Noelle's godparents," Carson said suddenly. Dwight should've expected that from Carson. He was always the kind of person that would cut to the chase. Regardless of how he broke the news, it still would have taken Dwight aback to hear it.

Surprised at the revelation, Dwight took a much needed inhale as he thought about what his stance was before he met Carson and Ashlyn's daughter. For the entire duration of Ashlyn's pregnancy, Dwight felt that he would just avoid the baby altogether as if it would make life easier. However, he being one of the first people to even hold Noelle changed his mind entirely. Negan was no more a part of Noelle's future than he was for Sherry's. Like many, Noelle was equally as much of a victim in the situation as all the other women that he tried to destroy.

Because the idea of having children of their own was slim to very unlikely, Dwight had kissed that dream goodbye long ago and never once thought of it again. The notion of having a goddaughter was something that he didn't even entertain before. But like the tradition of last name's and Christmas trees, he supposed some things were going to stick.

"We understand if you don't want to…" Carson began to say.

"I would be honored," Dwight then clarified. "I can't speak for Sherry but I'm sure that she would feel the same."

Carson beamed at the news and nodded with satisfaction. "That's great to hear," he responded. "With how life is, you just never know if you'll make it back home after a day of clearing herds. It's good to know that she'll be taken care of by someone if that someone isn't us."

Dwight stared at Carson and smirked at the way he said it. "You sound happy with your life right now, Hector."

Carson scoffed at the sound of his first name but grinned at Dwight. "I am," Carson declared. "Ashlyn and I… We weren't planning on falling in love throughout all of this. I just wanted to help her out with something that seemed like a real life altering predicament. She didn't deserve to go through that all by herself. One thing led to another, I guess. Now I can't imagine anyone but her."

"I know the feeling," Dwight responded as he acknowledged the peace that radiated off Carson. He hoped that Sherry would one day have that same feeling throughout every aspect in her life. Dwight wanted to be what Carson was to Ashlyn and knew that he would always keep trying.

"We're getting married," Carson then said as Dwight coughed the tobacco that he just inhaled in surprise. He gawked at Carson who seemed amused at his reaction. "Father Gabriel is going to do a small ceremony sometime after Noelle is baptized… In a couple of days."

"Wow," Dwight stammered out but brought Carson into a hug. "That's great news, Carson. I'm happy for you."

They stayed quiet for a moment as they watched the sunrise. Dwight even rested a cigar on top of Takuya's grave to have him be a part of their small victory. Life was rolling onwards. The mood in Hilltop proved as much. Eventually, life would be as if they didn't have the same hardships that were only there just a moment ago. As Dwight looked down at the grave, he understood that life was fleeting. However, Takuya found hope and happiness in the life that was given to him. Dwight didn't know when it was all going to end. He just hoped to endure it well. With the people that he loved close by, he intended to do just that.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, & FACTS –**

 **#1 – The scene where both Dwight, Daryl, and Rick is small comic relief that makes a subtle reference to** _ **Three Men and A Baby**_ **. Miss apenny12 and I went back and forth with this scene on Google Docs and it was VERY fun to write.**

 **#2 – So I feel like I have some experience with this whole giving birth thing. My first child was no painkillers, epidural, or anything… It was hell! But the nurse told me to focus on something and to not tense up my body even though it's a natural inclination when you are in pain. I took her advice as my focal point was a dead bug that was in the ceiling light. Yeah, super inspirational, I know. Of course, it didn't take away the pain but tensing up was A LOT worse. So Ashlyn is using that same old technique.**

 **#3 – Dwight & Sherry are godparents! Yay!**

 **#4 – I told you that this book would be slightly different, right? If you're still craving some** _ **Negan**_ **scenes, they will come. He'll make only 1 appearance in this book but will make several more in book 6 (Ghosts of War) and will return as a main character in book 7 (A Call to Arms). Even though I know most of my reader's are TEAM DWIGHT, the TEAM NEGAN readers will definitely want to stay tuned for what's to come. I won't say beyond that.**

 **#5 – If you want some spoilers as to where Book 6 (Ghosts of War) will pick up, I am connecting scenes from apenny12's book called HOPE. We use each other's characters and I am happy that I will be introducing two characters from hers that also appear on the show that I haven't previously mentioned (maybe 1 is mentioned but not actually a main or recurring character) in my books before.**

 **So if you want spoilers, go over to her profile and connect some dots and plots. If you are familiar with apenny12's work, than you should already know…**

 **#6 -**

 **#7 – Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa or whatever the hell you celebrate! Just make sure it's a good one!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 _December 24, 2013_

Sherry brushed her teeth before finally going to bed despite dawn already making its presence for the new day. Drained nonetheless from the sleepless night, she was resolved to get some rest before devoting more time at Ashlyn's side.

It was infectious to be around Noelle. Sherry wasn't expecting to have such a strong attachment to the baby yet she already couldn't get enough of her. She was a living testament to everyone that life could continue regardless of their disturbing past. Ashlyn had successfully managed to alter what could have been an agonizing future for both her and her daughter. What Ashlyn had now with her small family was something that few people in their world possessed.

Sherry was more than thrilled for her. She was there from the very beginning and saw the fear that read in Ashlyn's eyes upon discovering Noelle. There was so much uncertainty throughout the journey but a lot had changed within the months as her baby continued to grow. Carson came into their lives and became involved. Ashlyn could have done what she needed to do on her own but Sherry was grateful that she had Carson and her friends to rely on when she needed them.

Taken out of her thoughts, she saw Dwight in the room as he knelt while trying to lay a thin blanket on the floor. Sherry instantly knew what his chaste intent was and quickly finished washing up then walked into the room towards him. "Dwight, what are you doing?" She inquired with a tinge of sorrow to her voice. Even though it wasn't her fault for halting part of their private relationship, the ever-constant guilt still sank in.

He glanced up to her and shrugged indifference. "It's no big deal, Sher," he responded and waved her off. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"It really isn't necessary, Dwight," Sherry kindly assured while remembering their first nights of the apocalypse being on the road. The many sleepless nights while tossing and turning on the forest floor or a small car came to mind as she shook her head in protest. "This is a wooden floor! You'll never get any sleep like that." With the curtains already pulled to provide some dimness to the room, she stepped towards the bed and patted the mattress beside her. "Come on, Dwight. We will both fall asleep once our heads hit the pillow. No need to make a big deal out of it."

Dwight was still kneeling on the floor but gave Sherry a look as if wondering whether or not he should take up her offer.

"Going once…" Sherry urged jokingly.

He groaned with a small laugh as he subsequently got up from his spot and walked to the other side of the large bed. "The second that you feel uneasy, you can kick me off," Dwight advocated on her behalf. "I'm serious."

"I know you are," Sherry answered as she got under the covers while suddenly being aware of the chill coming into the mansion from the icy outside air. "It does make me feel better knowing that."

"Good," Dwight replied sounding pleased while he got under the covers as well. They both stared up at the ceiling as Dwight let the events of the night subside into a calm groove so he could relax into a well-deserved slumber.

"Did you hear the news?" Sherry asked in the silence. Her voice sounded sleepy already and he knew that she wasn't going to last long with small talk.

"What news?"

"We're godparents now," Sherry commented quietly.

Dwight was surprised at how easily he himself was dozing off as it usually took him longer to do so. It had been a long time since he felt as calm as he did. In Sanctuary, he always felt like he had a target on his back. Not all the Saviors appreciated the efforts that he put forth to better establish a structured community such as the others. Sleep was difficult to come by when there was always someone trying to kill him for going against Negan. It was an act that some thought difficult to forgive. As for when he slept in Alexandria while on visits, he thought Daryl's couch was the least comfy thing in the world.

Sherry's voice brought him back in while he thought about what she said. "I'm guessing Ashlyn told you?" Dwight asked as she nodded. He took a deep breath of satisfaction then glanced over to see Sherry smiling in the same sense. "You'll be a great godmom."

A tear escaped her eye as it fell onto her pillow from the simple compliment that he gave her combined with the lack of sleep which seemed to amplify her emotions. "Likewise," she responded in a raspy voice but her eyes started to close slowly as she said it.

He smiled at her effort to stay awake for their small but sweet conversation. "Good night, Sher," he whispered.

It was quiet for a moment as Dwight turned to see if she had already fallen asleep. Her eyes were closed as she rolled over to sleep on her side. She mumbled an answer that was just above a whisper but he was able to decipher an 'I love you' and a 'goodnight.'

He smiled and rolled over to his stomach while making sure to stay on his side of the bed so that Sherry could have her own safe space. It didn't take long for him to slowly fall away while letting the exhaustion take over. They didn't have a lot of good events occur in their new world. It almost seemed as if the good moments were almost more mentally draining than the bad moments. They all became used to the new primitive and uncouth norm. Happiness was hardly ever welcome with open arms. Dwight felt as if Negan trained their thought process to expect danger from around the corner. However, it wasn't danger that Dwight anticipated; it was repercussions.

…

Dwight awoke with a start and instinctively grasped for Sherry only to find that she wasn't on the mattress beside him. Sweat cascaded down Dwight's face as he tried to breathe through it. He searched all around him to see that the room had become darker than it was when his eyes first had closed. He had nearly slept through the entire day. It was probably the most amount of sleep that he had had in a very long time. He didn't even hear Sherry leave the room.

Dread overcame him like clockwork when nighttime usually rolled around. That was when the terrifying dreams haunted him. His own subconscious attacked him at his most vulnerable and showed him all the horrors that he took part in as Negan's right hand man.

 _You killed hundreds of people to save one person's life,_ a voice said in his thought process. _Was it worth it? You get to be with her while Sasha spends her night's alone because of you. Drew's mother moved to the Kingdom so she didn't have to run into your visits to Hilltop anymore. She's alone. Because of you._

It was easier justifying his actions in the heat of the moment. For the last several years, Dwight became an obedient soldier under Negan's leadership. His only purpose in life was to protect the ones that he cared about - mainly Sherry. Now that that part of his life was finished, his guilty conscience arose from dormancy and unleashed on Dwight like a rabid wolf.

He did what he had to do so Sherry wouldn't be punished. When it was revealed that she was penalized regardless of how much Dwight tried to please Negan, he became staggeringly livid. So many people had died because of his forced loyalty. Because of a lie that Negan built to insure that conformity. It was a slap on the face. One that pained him even more than the iron burn that he endured from his temple to jaw line.

Disgusted with himself as much as Negan, he sat up and tried to be mindful of where he was mentally and physically. Recovery from Negan wasn't an easy process but it was one that he tried to bear alone. Never had he once tried to burden Sherry with his inner thoughts of anxiety after years of psychological torture and submissiveness. He was sure that Sherry did the same on her end. Even though he never once felt afflicted with her own issues that Negan put her through, he hated the idea that she would carry some of his mental weight had he opened up to her about his past. It wasn't what he wanted for her.

The strain that he felt was lonely. Not only that but he didn't dedicate time to sort through his past like he should have done time and time again. With running a failing community and dealing with men who were still loyal to Negan, Dwight could openly admit that he wasn't handling things in a healthy manner. For years, he thought himself as being no better than Negan. While Negan was currently in prison for his crimes, Dwight couldn't but wonder if he also deserved the same depraved fate.

Yet, he was in Hilltop celebrating a forgotten holiday among friends and a goddaughter. He was living the lap of luxury while others continued to suffer for his past wrongdoings. Sasha made peace with him long ago but he was still reminded of the red-headed man who he shot without even batting an eye at the time. At times, he even went out of his way to avoid her because of it. He would have avoided anyone who reminded him of his last three and a half years but it was those same people that gave him the solace that he selfishly craved. As unworthy as he felt, he still needed to feel some sort of appraisal for his own self-indulgent content.

 _Don't pretend that your wrong behavior is behind you,_ the cynical voice echoed in his mind. _The last person you killed wasn't seven and a half months ago._

…

Dwight didn't yet feel up to trivial exchanges with other people but also didn't want to be alone. He walked through the upstairs hallway while hearing some activity on the main floor and could hear a small crowd enjoying each other's company. The smell of delightful aromas consisted of food and only food. Remembering that it was the first Christmas Eve that he would celebrate without his brother present, he started making his way down the stairs to take part in the festivities - even if he didn't necessarily feel up to it. He was very much a different person than he was four years ago. The holiday was merely reminding him of the stark difference.

"What the fuck are you going to do, Amber?" He heard someone hastily ask. Just before he took a step down the first stair, he heard Mark's voice ring throughout the second floor. "You gonna leave me?"

"Mark, you need to stop! You're overreacting!" Amber responded back while clearly stressed. Dwight waited for a follow up response as instinct told him to make sure that everyone was okay following a stressful situation; even if the matter was a private one. Their bedroom was close to the stairway and he could hear them from behind the partially closed door. "If you keep acting like this though, I might _consider_ leaving. I can't handle the up's and down's with you."

"Amber, I gave up a shit ton of things for you. I sacrificed and I fought for you! If I sound like I'm overreacting, maybe it's because I have a right to…" Mark said with agitation but then became quiet. The next phrase Dwight could hear the insecurity in his comrade's voice. "Is it because of my face?"

"What?" Amber asked while taken aback at his statement. "Mark, I wouldn't…"

"Then what the hell is it?!" Mark practically shouted.

"I don't _know_!" Amber yelled back.

Dwight decided to bow out of his post so they could have some secrecy. Their conversation was still unsettling to him and he hoped that he and Sherry would never fight like that. He didn't know exactly what their spat was about but he still didn't want that kind of rift between himself and the person that mattered the most in his life.

He quickly stepped into the front room that was filling in with more guests from Hilltop. He even saw various people from other communities as they conversed with people around them. Sanctuary's members were noticeably absent.

After hearing Mark and Amber's fight and his terrible nightmare before that, he didn't want to take part in any kind of social event and quickly slipped out of the mansion and towards the barn. Outside was quiet while more community members walked towards the mansion with button-up shirts as some women even wore stylish dresses for the occasion.

Things were changing among the people that he interacted with. He noticed that the people who were quick to embrace the parties, the traditions, and the finer way of living were better off or at least pretended to be. The ones who had a more difficult time grasping at being domesticated once more fought against it tooth and nail - like the ones who were exiled from Sanctuary. Dwight hoped that one day he would feel comfortable in events such as the one that was going to happen in Hilltop that night. The other option was living in a forest alone.

He walked into the barn and clicked his tongue as his horse instantly recognized the sound belonged to its master. The animal glanced towards Dwight while Dwight stepped closer and grabbed some hay to give his friend. The horse took it graciously while Dwight reached for a brush for his unnamed horse's hair. Sherry said that he should one day take the time to pick an actual name for his loyal companion. A gift from Earl when the blacksmith saw the horse bond with Dwight more than anyone else after being brought in from the wild, the horse always traveled with Dwight on supply runs and never strayed far from his sight. Dwight didn't know what he did differently to deserve the horse's trust and respect. Yet he was glad all the same.

"Penny for your thoughts?" A chipper voice appeared out of nowhere.

"Shit!" Dwight exclaimed as he peered around the barn to see Kevin milking a cow in the far corner. He wasn't expecting anyone to be doing farm work so late in the day. "Jesus…" he muttered while trying to get ahold of himself.

"Didn't think you the type of person to be so easily spooked," Kevin perceived as he went about his business while keeping on eye on Dwight.

"Usually not so much," Dwight mumbled and wasn't sure if Kevin had heard him.

He appreciated Kevin for everything that he had offered the people in his vicinity. For young Jenna, he became a father and filled the void of a father long gone as well as Jason who passed away in the meadow attack. For Yolanda, he became a loving husband after a short ceremony that Father Gabriel gave them following the descent of the Saviors. For Sherry, he gave her some peace of mind that she wouldn't have had without his help.

Despite Kevin's willingness to help countless others around him, Dwight was leery of the man. Not that he suspected Kevin to have any ulterior motive than to selflessly serve, rather it was his insightfulness that put Dwight on edge. Kevin was under his own code of confidentiality when it came to people who spoke to him about their past demons. That only unnerved Dwight more as Kevin knew more about him than he wanted him to.

"How have you been, Dwight?" Kevin asked after a long period of quiet apart from the chickens clucking or the occasional whinny of the horses. "It's been awhile since I spoke with either you or Sherry."

Dwight was a little surprised upon hearing that Sherry hadn't spoken to him. He was unsure of the timeline, but he thought Sherry would remain in contact with Kevin especially since the war had ended and things were falling back into a normal rhythm. "We have been keeping busy," Dwight answered in a purposefully cryptic way knowing that there was probably a reason that Sherry decided to create some distance. Although he knew that he wouldn't necessarily ask unless she brought it up herself.

"I could see that," Kevin said cheerfully. "You two seem in high spirits."

"We try to be at least," Dwight replied as he continued tending to his horse that he had grown a small attachment to.

"Why do you say it like that?" Kevin inquired as Dwight made a face. The man always had a knack for reading into all the details even if they were left unsaid.

Dwight scoffed as he took a deep breath then shook his head. "No," he said simply and turned to face Kevin with a friendly smile. "I didn't need to talk to you before and I don't need to talk to you now."

"My door is always open when the time comes, Dwight," Kevin maintained but looked to Dwight in all seriousness. "I really didn't mean to intrude. My apologies if it came across that way."

"It's fine, don't be sorry," Dwight responded and returned to brushing his horse. "You aren't upset that Sherry hasn't been doing sessions or anything, are you?"

"Oh, not at all," Kevin corrected. "When someone stops visiting their therapist it means one of two things. The first, she is trying to gain some independence and is moving on. If that's the case, then I am proud of her."

He was silent for a moment while pondering if he should continue with his next thought. Dwight turned to look at him and saw Kevin stare off into the distance while pondering something.

"What's the other reason?" Dwight questioned while letting curiosity get the better of him.

"The second is that she wants to ignore talking about it all," Kevin answered quietly. "That's understandable and many would agree that it's easier to deal with stress by simply burying it."

"What do _you_ say?" Dwight then pressed while wondering why he was being so inquisitive with Kevin's thoughts.

"My opinions on the subject are of no consequence," Kevin explained. "However, I believe that suppressing trauma like the one she went through is never a permanent fix. The past always has a way of making an appearance at the worst of times."

The conversation that he and Sherry had the night before confirmed Kevin's studied theory. It was nearly heartbreaking to know that she was still going through what she was and Dwight could only watch from the sidelines as she tried time and time again to pick herself back up.

"Like any of us, Dwight," Kevin said while taking him away from his thoughts. "We have _all_ endured the worst things. But we are human. We can't expect to go about our lives pretending that the hurt never existed. It was made us become who we are. We need to arm ourselves with the right protection, to deal with our personal demons in order to better function."

"So therapy is going to help with that?" Dwight asked in a semi-sardonic tone but believed Kevin more than he would let on.

"As cliché as it sounds, yes," Kevin remarked with his grin returning. "But you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Dwight responded only half-convinced. Truthfully, he couldn't allow himself to talk about his past. Talking about it, let alone thinking about it, wasn't on his list of to-do's.

Then it occurred to Dwight that Kevin wasn't just directing his concern for Sherry but for him as well. All that he said about trauma having a knack for showing up wasn't just happening to Sherry; it was all returning to Dwight. Dwight didn't tell anyone about the nightmares that kept him awake at night. Had Kevin known that it was going to happen eventually?

Unwilling to have Kevin think him weak in any way, he patted his horse one more time and put the brush away. "We're doing fine," Dwight feigned and smirked. "You going to the party?"

"I am, indeed," Kevin answered while Dwight walked towards the barn door. "Have a wonderful Christmas Eve, Dwight."

"You too, Kevin," Dwight said with as animated of a voice that he could muster and stepped out of the barn. His fake smile instantly vanished as he started walking up to the mansion once more. He didn't need anyone's help to be rid of his past. He could do it on his own.

…

"Not going down to the party?" Sherry asked while in Ashlyn's room. She walked around the space and rocked the sleeping Noelle in her arms as Ashlyn sat on the hospital bed.

"I gave birth less than twenty-four hours ago," Ashlyn said with a smile. "Suffice it to say, I don't really feel like walking around and conversing with everyone. The select few that want to come say hello can come up here."

"Not that I have an excuse but I kind of feel the same way," Sherry responded and laid Noelle in her bassinet beside Ashlyn's bed. She then took a seat on the couch where Carson had been sleeping and sighed. "But I guess if we are going to be civilized again, we should go to parties or at least talk to people."

Ashlyn was thoughtful for a moment but then glanced at Sherry warily. "Do parties ever remind you of Billiard Night? Everyone having a great time, shouts from across the room, alcohol… The setting and the people are different but it still makes me feel…" She paused while trying to think of the proper word.

"Uneasy?" Sherry finished for her. "It's not just you."

"Glad it isn't," Ashlyn muttered but sighed as she looked to Sherry again. "The transition hasn't just been hard for me, has it?"

Sherry leaned back against the couch and folded her arms. "I can imagine it was more difficult for you than it was for any of us," she mentioned humbly thinking it odd to compare her trials with Ashlyn's. They came from the same trauma but what Ashlyn went through was something that Sherry couldn't even fathom.

"Come on, Sherry," Ashlyn then said while rolling her eyes slightly. "Negan shot you in the side and you had to do some physical therapy for months. I know what you have gone through. It wasn't just a little problem."

Feeling uncomfortable with the subject matter, Sherry just stared down at her feet. "Yeah, but you have…" Sherry stopped then looked to Noelle who was still in a deep slumber.

" _I_ have moved on for the most part," Ashlyn defended kindly to finish Sherry's thought even if that wasn't the direction that she was going to go. "There are a few things that still get to me but I can look at Noelle and simply see a great future ahead of me. Ahead of all of us; Carson included." She stopped and gazed at her daughter then continued with what was on her mind. "Megan and I talk about what happened to us all the time. I start talking about this stuff to you and you just concave and suddenly have to leave."

Sherry bit her lip at the unsuspecting grilling that she was receiving from Ashlyn. "I'm fine," Sherry responded quietly but couldn't stare directly at her friend.

"You always need to stay strong for the rest of us," Ashlyn muttered in consternation. "Sher, you may think that what you have gone through isn't as bad as what I went through. As if you don't have a right to complain. My life could have been terrible raising his child all by myself. And even though I changed my perspective to love Noelle, I will never thank _him_ for the abuse I received to get her. Nor will I thank him for giving her to me. He had no part in my love for her.

"You don't have to pretend that you aren't hurting," Ashlyn continued. "If you ever need to talk to anyone, you can talk to us. We have all had plenty of time to sort through things. We want to include you into the healing process. You need it just as much as we do."

Sherry was silent but refused to show that she was doing anything less than fine. Talking about it only made the memories flood back. From when she first saw him ambush their camp three and a half years ago to when she stabbed him in the gut in the same moment that he was telling her how happy he was to know that she would stay with him - and all the times in between.

"Just something for you to think about," Ashlyn finished. "We're always here for you."

…

The mansion started bustling with activity as Christy was preparing food for all the guests. Along with Carson, Yolanda, and Kevin, they each had their hands full in preparing for the upcoming party. Christy was putting the silverware all in a basket to place in the front room where a table was going to work as a buffet line for everyone. She counted all the knives and forks especially to see if they had enough when someone stood behind her at a distance.

Christy knew who it was when he didn't say anything at first. Rick contemplated his thoughts before engaging her in conversation and she knew that it was him before she turned to see that she was correct.

When they made eye contact, she gave a polite smile and went back to her work while also straightening her apron that she wore over a tulle black knee-length skirt that she found among the Alexandrian storage closet. She wore a cream colored blouse where the sleeves were rolled up to her elbows. Christy was proud that she even bothered to fix her hair up in what used to be a stylish bun and even put on makeup for the event. It seemed out of place but it wasn't too often that they had moments to look nice.

"Judith knows how to spell her name now," Rick finally said as he stepped closer then leaned against the counter where Christy was doing her work.

Christy glanced up and paused while giving Rick her full attention. "Yeah? I taught her a rhyme the other day when I was watching her," she explained. "I didn't know if it would stick with her being so young."

"Oh yeah," Rick replied with an enthusiastic grin. "She walks around the house and that's all she says. 'J-U-D-I-T-H. Nothin' rhymes with H, but it's my name all the same.'"

Christy giggled and was glad to hear that he was pleased whenever she watched his daughter during the day. She had her hands full with learning to be a nurse and watching Judith but it occupied her time rather than filled her with depression that came when she didn't do anything. "Well, you find something that rhymes with the letter H and then we'll talk," she teased as she started working on the silverware again.

"Barbara, what did you do before all this?" Rick asked as Christy heard the hesitation in his voice. He was not a man prone to small talk nor was he good at it. But she appreciated the effort he put forth regardless.

"I was a kindergarten teacher," Christy answered while thinking of the fond memories of her young students. She hoped that they were all okay or that they at least didn't suffer in the new world. "You were a cop, right?"

"Yes, ma'am, I was," Rick responded as he pondered his next thought again. Christy waited while continuing staying busy knowing that was how Rick spoke. His questions were almost a small interrogation even though she was sure that he didn't intend for it to sound that way. He just wanted to get to know her more. "We have schools in each community set up," he started with a shrug but knew she was already aware. "Why did you choose to become a nurse instead of teaching kids again?"

She knew he was only asking out of curiosity and smiled up to him. "I got a taste of helping people during the grenade attack," she replied simply. "That feeling left an impression on me and I knew the need for nurses had to be met. If I had all the time in the world, I would be a nurse, babysitter, _and_ a teacher but I just don't have the time to do it all."

"Well, you are doing a great job at everything you do," Rick complimented as Christy glanced up from her work to see his face redden slightly. "I just wanted to let you know that I felt that way."

"Thank you, Rick," Christy said with gratitude. "And you as well. Both of your kids are great and I think that you're doing a fine job with the communities."

He nodded a thank you and stepped away from the counter as if their conversation was over. Christy didn't think anything of it and went back to counting the silverware like before.

"Hey," she heard Rick say behind her as she turned around to see him closer to her than he was before. It took her by surprise but she was comfortable with it. "After the party, would you like to take a walk with me around Hilltop?"

"I would love to," Christy said quickly before her mind even processed his request. Her heart was already invested in the idea of Rick and she wanted to see if he was worth pursuing.

"Great," Rick expressed as he returned a wide grin. "I guess that I'll see you later, Barbara."

"Okay!" She said not even trying to contain the excitement she felt.

After getting to know Rick, she could tell that he was a good catch. Her late husband, Bradley, would have wanted her to move on. Negan wasn't even a stepping stone in the right direction and she wanted something that had more trust and faith like a real relationship should have been like. Had she had more time with Bradley, they would have kept that until the day they died. Despite the pain that Negan caused, she _still_ believed in real love; something that was good. Whether Rick was right for her or not, she still wanted to check and see.

…

Sherry brushed through her hair in the room that she shared with Dwight. She put on a form-fitting dark red button-up sweater and upon seeing what everyone else was wearing, borrowed a black skirt from Megan. The skirt was right and showed off her figure as it came several inches above her knee. To add a festive look, Megan also loaned her a pair of dark green tights to get into the Christmas spirit. Sherry liked the look and it made her feel covered enough to not merit unwanted attention.

Dwight was sitting on the edge of the couch and borrowed some nice clothes from both Harlan and Carson. The button up shirt which was tucked in, complemented his long torso as did his tie that he was working on with precision. Sherry was putting on mascara and leaned over the sink but grinned while thinking of what they were getting ready for. She couldn't remember the last time that she went to a formal gathering. Even Kevin and Yolanda's wedding was low-key with no dressing up required. They spent most of their days killing walkers to survive but that night, they were dolling themselves up for a party.

"What are you smiling about?" Dwight asked while curious about her upbeat attitude.

"Just this stuff," Sherry said while gesturing to the clothes that she had on and then to his tie. She let out a small laugh. "Never thought that I would wear something like this again."

Dwight tilted his head to glance at her in passing but stopped upon actually seeing her. A smile crept on his face as Sherry leaned against the doorway then put her hand on her side to strike a mild pose. "Too much?" She joked still thinking that the whole party was a silly idea.

He didn't say anything at first and just admired her for a moment longer. "I think you look perfect," Dwight uttered while he finished fixing his tie but saw the other side was longer than the side that mattered. Groaning in frustration about having to wear a tie at all, he loosened it up to start over again.

Sherry walked over to where he sat and reached for his tie. "When I was younger, I asked my dad if I could fix his tie for him," she explained and started tying it for him. "I did it every Sunday before church."

Dwight placed his hand on Sherry's waist without thinking but then wondered if she would dislike his small source of affection. She pursed her lips together and smiled at him with a nod to indicate that she was fine with it. He drew a sigh of relief and then placed his other hand on her opposite side just below her hip bone. She continued with his tie while he subtly admired her body that was in close proximity to him.

"It's been awhile since I did any of this kind of shit," Dwight remarked. "I could probably count with my fingers the number of times that I had to wear a tie."

"Weren't much of a church goer growing up, eh?" Sherry inquired.

"Not really," Dwight answered with a smirk. "My mom would have liked you though. She went all the time. She just didn't force us to go with her."

Sherry beamed at his compliment. "You think your mom would have liked me?" She asked tenderly. "That makes me happy to know actually." She looked him in the eyes. "My dad would have liked you a lot, I think."

"He would have approved?" Dwight inquired but made a face then shrugged as if he wasn't sure if he agreed with her. She tightened his tie around his neck while he glimpsed down to see that it aligned better than when he attempted and stared up to Sherry with fondness. "Thank ye kindly, ma'am."

His ever-so-slight Georgian accent rang through more clearly as she grinned from ear to ear. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her as she put her hands on his chest. "I don't want to go down there," she confessed quietly.

"Well, we could always stay up here," Dwight offered with a wink. She snorted at his suggestion and then pulled him by the hand towards the door.

"Let's just stick to the people that we know and go from there," Sherry prepared more for herself.

"We should probably have an escape route just in case," Dwight mentioned only half kidding. Large amounts of people always made him on edge and he didn't really plan on making small talk for a long period of time.

"Good idea," Sherry praised and put a hand on the doorknob before taking a deep breath.

"If you ever need to get away from anyone, just let me know and we'll just go somewhere quiet," Dwight assured. Sherry looked to him wondering if he was joking on some innuendo again but stared at her in all seriousness. "I mean it, Sher. I got your back."

"Thanks," she replied softly and squeezed his hand. He held it tightly as she opened the door.

…

"Hey! It's the new dad!" Earl shouted as he stepped towards Carson with open arms and brought him into a tight bear hug. Dwight and Mark simply looked on as it wasn't the first time that their fellow comrade had been congratulated that night. "Where is that baby of yours?"

"She's upstairs with Ashlyn," Carson clarified as a smile came across his face at the thought.

"You feeling any extra pressure to respawn with the way people act towards new babies around here?" Mark muttered so only Dwight could hear as Dwight smirked from the comment. He glanced over to Sherry who was talking to Carol and Michonne nearby the kitchen door. She kept on getting stopped by people who wanted to talk with her or distracted by others that she wanted to make time to talk to herself. In any case, Dwight was glad that she was having a good time.

Earl and Carson continued to talk to each other about fatherhood and the importance of the responsibilities while Dwight took a drink of the beer in his hand. Mark started looking around the room as Dwight could see his mood change significantly.

"You see Amber around?" Mark questioned.

Dwight shook his head and immediately felt like he was being put on the spot for overhearing their disagreement earlier that night. "Nope, I haven't," he muttered and looked around the room for good measure while staring over everyone's heads to check but he saw no sign of her. "Maybe she's in the kitchen?"

"Yeah, probably," Mark agreed but didn't make a move to find out if that was the case. He just took a swig of alcohol and leaned against the wall beside Dwight. "Your redneck friend isn't anywhere to be found either."

Dwight nearly spewed his drink out of his nose with what Mark was eluding with his statement. "I really don't know what you are trying to imply, Mark but I think you're reading too much into something and trying to place blame on someone who doesn't deserve it," Dwight said as a matter-of-factly knowing that he had no problem being straight with him while at the same time trying to let him know that he crossed a line. "Daryl just doesn't like these kind of things, he's not screwing Amber, and you aren't going to accuse him of that again."

"That's not what I was trying to say," Mark defended weakly but Dwight knew better.

"Yeah," Dwight said as he picked up another beer and opened it. Mark then raised his eyebrows towards Dwight as it already was his fourth can. He shrugged Mark's silent judgment away. "It's a party after all," he mumbled then brought the drink to his lips.

…

"Oh, no," Christy muttered to herself while she searched through the kitchen cabinets. "We're out of canned cherries."

Megan gave her a quizzical look as she stared around the cabinets to help Christy out. "I could have sworn that we had some more in the fruit cellar," she said and then started walking in that direction. "I'll go check."

"Check for powdered sugar as well, please?" Christy asked. "We're running low on that as well."

"Alright," Megan responded as she opened the door to the basement and walked down the narrow steps. When she reached the bottom stair, she flipped on the light switch to see Amber and Heath standing beside each while both looking flustered. Megan stopped dead in her tracks as they all stared at each other with awkwardness looming over.

"Uh...I was coming down here to get a couple of things," Megan said shyly as she slowly made her way towards the shelves.

"You weren't interrupting anything," Amber said with a smile. As Megan got closer, she could see Amber's smeared makeup. "Heath was just telling me about some stuff."

"Yeah, I probably should be getting back up there," Heath said as he turned to look at Amber with a fond smile but then quickly limped upstairs with his prosthetic leg. Megan and Amber were alone as Amber leaned from one foot to the other with a guilt ridden face. Megan didn't feel the need to reprimand and she didn't know all the details. Not being the kind of person to pry into other's personal lives, she grabbed the food that Christy needed and left without saying another word. She wasn't stupid; she knew that Amber was cheating on Mark.

When she made it back up the stairs, the sound of people enjoying themselves filled her ears as she walked towards Christy who was holding a freshly baked cake with oven mitts. "Here are your cherries," Megan said while her voice still read some shock and placed them on the counter beside the stove along with the powdered sugar.

...

When Dwight scanned the room, he accidentally made eye contact with Gregory and rolled his eyes. The people-pleasing man limped over to Dwight with a smile beaming on his face. "Dwight, my boy!" The man exclaimed while Dwight had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. "It's been awhile since I ran into you! Jesus, when was the last time I saw you?"

"You were falling from a building," Dwight responded with brutal honesty as he recollected when Negan literally threw Gregory off the ledge of the mill in front of the community members. The mousy man miraculously lived with the help of Doctor Edwards especially and underwent physical therapy.

Gregory still had a smile plastered on his face even though Dwight wanted his response to be taken as an insult and a reminder that he turned his back against the communities. "Yes, yes, well at least I can walk on my own two feet now," he said and nudged Dwight on the shoulder. "But hey, we're on good terms now though, aren't we?"

Dwight shrugged an answer as Gregory took that as a form of no ill-will. He patted Dwight on the shoulder but then turned to glance over at Sasha and Maggie who were talking by the fireplace while his gaze lingered for an uncomfortable amount of time. As if he didn't have a wandering eye, he glanced back at Dwight with his same dumb grin as before. "Things are getting into a groove now," he continued. "People are settling down...letting their hair down… You boys thinking about settling down with some of the women here?"

"We kind of already have," Mark corrected with gritted teeth.

"Oh," Gregory sighed and put his hands in his pockets. "Good on you boys. Do your women happen to have some friends that are single?"

It was the kind of conversation that Dwight didn't want to take part of in. He could enjoy hearing Earl explain the meaning of life, Mark complain about his girlfriend being absent from the party, but he couldn't stand pretending to be friends with someone like Gregory. The man himself brought up moments in his life that he didn't care to remember. He was already close to killing the man several times; Negan didn't even _have_ to ask him to feel that way. Gregory managed to make Dwight's list of people he didn't care about. Few were still alive.

…

"You having a fun time tonight?" Sherry called out as Megan passed her in the room.

Megan quickly turned on her heel with two wine glasses in hand and gave one to Sherry. "Don't ask," she muttered and took a giant gulp of her beverage.

Sherry saw Megan's face as worry instantly came over her. "Are you okay?" She inquired.

Megan shrugged a response and shook her head. "I don't know," she replied and looked up to Sherry with confusion written on her features. "I don't know if I'm supposed to say anything or tell anyone."

"What?" Sherry questioned even more alarmed with what her friend was saying. "What are you talking about?"

Still shaking her head, she looked up at the ceiling then back to Sherry. "I just don't know what to say right now," she uttered as Sherry could barely hear it over the noise in the mansion. She hoped that whatever happened wasn't something that would affect Megan forever. Out of all her friends, she was the most sensitive when it came to the things around her. A quiet but tender soul, she was the person who was least equipped to handle stressful situations. Like a mother hen, Sherry wanted to know what was bothering her but she didn't want to press if it pushed Megan over the edge. Instead, she gave her a side hug as Megan put her head on Sherry's shoulder. If something was bothering her friend, she was determined to find out.

...

After several moments, Dwight saw Megan and Sherry make their way towards him but the second that Megan saw Mark in their group, she whispered in Sherry's ear and walked towards Maggie and Sasha instead. Before Sherry could follow her, Gregory waved Sherry down as she felt reluctant to greet him.

"My physical therapy partner!" Gregory exclaimed as Sherry walked towards them. As she took her place beside Dwight, Gregory went out of his way to give her an unsolicited embrace. Dwight could instantly see the quick look of terror that Sherry had and how it settled when Gregory didn't initially let go of her. "Sherry, you are quite a sight today."

Dwight felt the need to intervene on Sherry's behalf as he grabbed Gregory's shoulder and practically shoved him off of his girlfriend. He knew Sherry didn't like to make a scene or draw attention to herself so he did it subtly.

Gregory immediately put his hands up in defense. "Easy now, Dwight," he said in a friendly voice while his eyes stayed on Sherry. "Just admiring a beautiful woman."

Sherry just stood there frozen as the look of terror still remained. To get her away from the situation - as her life partner and confidante - he needed to handle it for her. She would have done the same for him if he ever felt uncomfortable.

"Sher, I think Christy was asking for you several minutes ago," Dwight lied but touched her arm in a protective stance. Gregory started backing away towards the fireplace and then made conversation with Megan as Dwight and Sherry stared at each other in understanding. With gratitude she reached for his arm to quickly hold as a silent thanks and immediately left the room.

"I could show you some of the finest books in this mansion if you would like," Gregory started telling Megan as she awkwardly didn't know what to say. However, Sherry was gone so Dwight felt more freedom to treat Gregory the way he wanted to and practically grabbed the older man by the collar as they both stepped to the side.

"Think you are overstepping your boundaries just a bit, Gregory?" Dwight challenged in a dangerous tone.

"The last I checked, talking to women wasn't a crime," Gregory defended. "I can understand why you are worried about Sherry but the other women aren't really your concern."

"They are if they tell me what a creep you are being," Dwight responded as Gregory's smug look vanished. "You may be a couple of levels under Negan when it comes to the creep factor but that's still not saying much. And the girls that you are trying to impress have been through too much to deal with your shit. My suggestion would be to back the fuck off."

At first, Gregory didn't look like he knew what to say but then started smiling as if him and Dwight had been friends for years. "Son, you are worrying too much on such a special day," he said while appearing unfazed by their previous conversation and started speaking louder to draw attention from the crowd. Gregory was trying to play the good guy and at the same time make Dwight seem like the bad egg. "Drink some whiskey. Have some Christmas pork! We have too many days where we're at each other's throats. Don't you think?"

Enough people were staring at the two of them as Dwight walked away while fed up with the conversation. He could hear Gregory walk to another group and start schmoozing them instead. He left in a huff and retrieved a cigarette from his pocket.

…

Dwight sat on top of a perch that overlooked beyond Hilltop's borders and stared off into the darkness with assault rifle in hand. He still had his formal attire on but didn't necessarily care to keep them presentable anymore. Knowing that Sherry would be okay while in the company of other women who detested Gregory, he rolled his sleeves and drank more alcohol while feeling buzzed from the amount he already had.

Snow started to fall but he didn't yet feel cold. Instead he felt more comfortable on watch than he did at the party.

He heard snow crunch behind him as he stared down from the perch to see Daryl climbing up the ladder.

"Go to the party?" Dwight asked while Daryl took his place on guard with his crossbow.

"Yeah, for 'bout five minutes," Daryl admitted and stared off into the darkness.

"Five minutes more than I thought you'd be there," Dwight mumbled but then saw Daryl got a bottle of whiskey underneath his jacket. "Oh, that explains it."

They sat against the Hilltop's wall as they each took turns taking sips from the bottle. "You see Amber anywhere?" Dwight thought to ask but already knew the answer.

Daryl scrunched up his face in confusion as he took another drink. "Who the hell is Amber?" He questioned.

"Nevermind," Dwight replied with some humor.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, & FACTS - **

**#1 - For those who remember what Deanna said to Ashlyn in Chapter 9 of Cruel World, she said, "It's not the present that should prepare you for the future; or the past. It's the potential." At the time that it was said, it was one of Deanna's last words of wisdom to a young woman that she hardly knew but in a moment of such trauma (that conversation took place during the grenade attack), her message reverberated through Ashlyn to really write her own happy ending despite the world that they live in. I chose Ashlyn to be the one to help pick Sherry back up because there is a lot of guilt that Sherry has to how Ashlyn's life turned out; even if her life is pretty good. It's the mutual respect that they have for each other and loyalty that will carry through for Sherry's healing in the long run.**

 **#2 - This is a book that is kind of a turning point for our characters. As they settle down into a groove, they become people that will shape their decisions in the future. Pay attention. Who do you think will be ready to survive when the next storm hits the communities?**


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTES - I want to thank a guest reviewer for leaving such a nice review! That was such a nice thing to say. I wish I could thank you personally but I guess dedicating this chapter to you will just have to do. Again, thank you so much for your words! It always means so much to me.**

Chapter 4

 _December 25, 2013_

Christmas morning never seemed as bleak as it did that day. Hilltop remained peaceful but they had been gone from Sanctuary too long. Sherry knew that Dwight already felt bad for leaving Miguel in charge for as long as he did. However, he offered that Sherry could stay in Hilltop if she wanted to in order to spend time with Ashlyn's baby. Sherry turned it down and reminded him that they would be back in a couple of days for Noelle's baptism that they, as godparents, needed to be present for anyways. She had a job to get back to in Sanctuary and she admittedly put it on hold.

There was a cold layer of fresh snow that laid on the ground. The atmosphere itself was joyful in the small community as children played with their new toys that were looted from nearby stores. It wasn't often that scavenging was dedicated to presents or recreational uses and because money was no longer an object, some were able to give presents to their children that they wouldn't have been able to before the world ended.

Sherry watched the kids play in the foyer beside the large Christmas tree as they shared their new racetracks or dolls. Even though Jenna just celebrated her fourteenth birthday, she also received a couple of presents and sat beside Carl as they both listened to music from an iPod that Kevin and Yolanda gave her. While sitting on the stairs, Sherry had tea in hand while letting the happiness in the air reverberate through her. She hoped that feeling would stick as they went back to Sanctuary; even if the place usually filled her with dread the second that they drove through the wretched gates.

"Aunt Sherry," a sweet voice said as Sherry saw Judith walk up the stairs with a new book in hand. She beamed up towards her but then focused on the steps as her thumb stuck out in concentration. Once she reached Sherry, Judith sat down and placed the book on Sherry's lap.

"You want me to read this to you?" Sherry asked while opening up to the first page.

Judith nodded enthusiastically as Sherry opened her mouth to read the first word. Just then, Amber appeared on the other side of the bannister with backpack in hand. Looking to be under a lot of stress, she walked towards the stairs with shoulders slumped and her head down. As Amber turned the corner, she saw Judith and Sherry sitting on the steps while Sherry scooted Judith closer to her so Amber could pass.

"You alright?" Sherry asked.

"Whatever," Amber mumbled in exasperation but peered up at Sherry with apology. "I just don't want to talk about it. That's all."

"Sounds fine to me," Sherry said while not necessarily wanting to know the latest drama that revolved around Amber and Mark. For some reason, their love story took a turn for the worst. The seeds were planted for disaster as poor Mark had a difficult time being accustomed to the large red scar on his face while Amber found it burdensome to hear his complaints about it all. Sherry understood to an extent. More so because Dwight's scar was a searing reminder of something that she did to hurt him. She wasn't grossed out by it and even thought Dwight wore it well. He didn't particularly care what the scar did to his personal looks. It was his confidence that made him attractive to her. He started out attractive before the scar so it was almost as if his previous injury was of minor consequence.

Amber stepped down the stairs while Sherry watched her with concern then shrugged towards Judith to lighten the mood. Sherry then opened the book up again and started to read.

...

"You sure that you have to leave so soon?" Ashlyn asked as Dwight and Mark loaded the sleigh up for their trip back to Sanctuary.

Sherry looked at her with a tinge of sadness as she didn't want to leave either. Reluctantly, both her and Dwight had important jobs to do. They just hoped that Sanctuary was still in one piece by the time they returned. "I wish we could stay longer," Sherry confessed. "But we'll be back in a couple of days for Noelle's baptism and your wedding. I promise."

"You better," Ashlyn remarked and gave a tight embrace to Sherry. "I love you so much. Please let Mrs. Stapleton know that we love the hat that she crocheted for Noelle."

"I will," Sherry replied warmly. "And I love you too."

…

"Goodbye, _Barb,"_ Amber said while over exaggerating her friend's fairly new name.

"Stop saying it like that," Christy teased through gritted teeth but held Amber's cheek. "I'm going to miss having someone around to joke with."

Amber stuck out her tongue in response then looked to Megan who was saying her goodbye to Sherry. When Amber and Megan made eye contact, Megan's face turned the color of a beet as she stepped towards the mansion like the exchange didn't happen at all.

Taking care of collateral damage, Amber walked behind her and grabbed the fabric of her coat firmly. "No goodbye for me?" She asked.

"I…" Megan began but looked confused and almost as if she was about to cry from the confrontation.

Amber paused but then took a step closer to her friend and lowered her voice. "What you saw last night… it isn't what it looked like."

"Okay," Megan answered quickly as if she just wanted the conversation to be over. Knowing Megan to be a reserved person, Amber knew she should just let it go because Megan was more than likely never going to talk about it to anyone.

"Can I just say something?" Megan inquired while making eye contact. "I thought about it all night."

 _Fuck,_ Amber thought but nodded her head.

"Amber…" Megan started. "Not a day goes by where I don't think about Takuya and what could have been. Time is valuable with the people that we spend it with. We all deserve a chance to be happy."

Amber smiled while taking Megan's message as approval for her situation. "Thanks, Megan, I'm glad to hear you think that."

Megan put her mouth in a tight line and tilted her head towards Mark's direction. "I wasn't talking about you and Heath, Amber."

The words hit Amber harder than she thought they would. She turned to see Mark loading some provisions in the back of the sleigh. He didn't have an air of joy about him. To Amber, he looked utterly miserable. Mark had been her person for almost eight years. He never left her side through the bad moments and she felt guilty for mentally throwing the towel in without giving him any kind of explanation. A tear fell down her face as she nodded to Megan that what she said would be taken to heart and handled delicately.

…

Sherry gave a hug to Christy then leaned in to whisper in her ear. "How was your walk last night with Rick?" She inquired.

Christy gave a demure grin and started giggling. "I would be lying if I said anything happened," she admitted. "This guy moves slow. But I think that's what I need right now anyways."

"Seems like you guys had a good time though," Sherry said with encouragement.

"Yes, we did," Christy said with a fond smile.

Sherry gave her another tight hug then started walking towards the sleigh when finished with her goodbyes. Farewells with Terri's family & Yolanda's family were said in the house as she was glad for the time with them. However, she strongly disliked her vacation coming to an end.

Dwight waited next to the horses as she used the coachman's step to climb up to the front seat. As Dwight rechecked the reins to see if they were tight enough, he glanced up to Sherry with a raised eyebrow. "Gonna keep me company up there?" He inquired.

Sherry nodded and leaned down to talk in a hushed tone. "I don't think the rest of our group is in much of a talkative mood."

Dwight glanced over to Mark and Amber who were already in the sleigh with arms folded while giving each other the silent treatment. He rolled his eyes then handed Sherry the reins as he climbed up to sit beside her. Once he settled in his spot, he then stared at her expectantly and nodded towards the reins.

"What? Want me to drive?" Sherry asked.

"You never have," Dwight said with a smile. "I think you should try."

"Alright," Sherry said and held the reins with more purpose. Then whipped them ever so lightly. "Go?"

The horses surprisingly moved from the action as Dwight chuckled. "Yeah, that was beginners luck. We have to work on that delivery."

People still waited in front of the mansion and waved them off. Christy held Judith up as they both said their goodbyes out loud towards their group. Dwight waved back for both him and Sherry so she could continue to concentrate while she tried to steer the horses towards the front gates of Hilltop. He watched and became more impressed as Sherry was able to get the horses to turn the direction that she wanted them to go.

Sherry gave him a wink. "I've just been observing you the last couple of times," she confessed. "I'm just mimicking."

"You're a natural," Dwight praised and placed his hand behind her back. She was glad for the distraction. Their destination wasn't optimal and it placed a downer on Sherry's day overall. But she could conclude that the trip wouldn't be so bad at least.

…

 _December 26, 2013_

They reserved car fuel whenever they needed it the most. With travels that required extra loads such as ammunition or other goods with a heavy load, they used the trucks. Dwight admittedly was going to miss when fuel was useless. They already made use of other resources when it came to water heaters and switched stoves to be electric as each community was either powered by solar panels or dams. However traveling by horse from community to community was a much slower option and trucks would be very much missed and he knew it was only a matter of time.

The one resource that Sanctuary asked for over everything else was ammo. It was still much needed as they continued to fight the exiled Saviors. Because of the demand, Dwight made it a requirement that some of his men were at the ammunition factory and putting in the work. They weren't able to give much to the communities but being called a mooch was something that he didn't want to happen. His men would at least earn what they took.

Dwight drove towards the ammo factory with Miguel and several other men in tow that would start their shift under Eugene's supervision. The ride was still slow as the truck plowed some snow away and off to the side. The other men were in the back of the truck while Dwight and Miguel sat in the front. Dwight was having minor deja vu of him and Takuya driving a truck in snow and swerving off the highway in the process. Luckily, a lot of things were different. He at least trusted some of the men that sat in the truck bed behind him in case they fell into a tricky situation. Only some.

"You going to eat that?" Miguel inquired as he pointed to some eggs on a paper plate that rested on the dashboard. Dwight intended to eat it on the go but was concentrating too much on the road to pay it much attention.

"Nope," Dwight replied. "All yours."

"Nice," Miguel exclaimed and immediately sat the paper plate on his lap. "What's the plan today?"

"Drop these guys off, scavenge a bit, then get back to Sanctuary to make some tactical plans," Dwight disclosed then looked to Miguel briefly before focusing on the road once more. "You said that there weren't any attacks while we were gone?"

"Not a one," Miguel promised while his mouth was full of food. "You think something's up with that?"

"There has to be," Dwight said while in thought. "It's been too quiet after they attacked us last time. It has been one hard hit after another then nothing?"

"Could be rallying more walkers on their side?" Miguel asked. "Maybe the cold weather is making it harder to find a herd?"

"Possibly," Dwight replied glad that they were trying to think of all the options. Something still didn't feel right to him. He didn't know what the exiled Saviors were going to plan next. One thing he did know for sure is that the men they fought against knew too much about Sanctuary's weaknesses. They knew where most of the booby traps were near the front entrance and already destroyed them.

As much as Dwight understood Rick's reasoning to not kill and his encouragement for Sanctuary to do the same, Dwight couldn't agree with him. To not kill was crippling Sanctuary in the long run. They needed to fight back. More importantly, they needed to kill before exiled Saviors were given the _chance_ to fight back.

Many things that Dwight did as a leader went under Rick's nose. He didn't intend for Rick to know any of the things he did. He had no trouble justifying his actions but they did go against what the communities stood for as a whole. If Dwight was punished for it, so be it.

…

Sherry walked up the steps to the Stapleton house with homemade cookies in hand that Carol had given her the day they left Hilltop. With too many things going on the day before, she didn't have time to visit them and thought to do it the day after when she had more time on her hands.

With only so many civilians living in Sanctuary, they all become accustomed to each other's schedules and how each person worked. If they didn't have the trouble of dealing with exiled Saviors every other day, Sherry could see Sanctuary easily fortify. It was their other problems that arose caution and ceased any wanted progress.

So it was slightly unusual when Sherry knocked on their door that morning to discover no answer. As Sherry knocked on the door again several hours later, she waited to hear footsteps within the house but heard nothing. In between the two visits, she already asked around to see if others saw the Stapleton's in recent memory to which they replied that they hadn't seen them at all.

Sherry's suspicions were already on high alert. She knocked on the door once more then peered through their living room window. Nothing moved in the house. Becoming concerned, she opened the front door, walked inside, then immediately stepped back outside when a familiar yet potent smell entered her nostrils; that smell was rotting flesh.

She stayed on the front porch and put the cookies on the stairs as she knew she had to observe on a closer scale. Either of the Stapleton's could have been in pain or still in danger. Sherry understood by the smell that it was likely more that they were dead.

Reaching behind, she produced her glock just in case she encountered reanimated versions of the Stapleton's. Sherry re-entered the home and put the crook of her elbow over her nose as she inched inside the house.

"Mr. & Mrs. Stapleton?" Sherry called out as she still left the possibility of at least one of them still being alive and in grave danger. With her gun in hand, she walked slowly into the living room to see nothing seemed out of the ordinary. It appeared somewhat dusty and Sherry knew Mrs. Stapleton to be a tidy person. Sherry then glanced up to the kitchen and saw the first scene of a struggle. There was a wooden chair on its side and as Sherry got closer to the room, she could see blood splattered onto the kitchen cabinets and floor. When Sherry stepped just before the threshold, she then saw signs of whoever the blood belonged to being dragged into what she knew was the Stapleton's pantry.

Cocking her gun, she stepped over the chair and the now dried blood as she closed in on the spot. With one hand on the pantry door, she stood at the ready. Whatever was beyond that door, Sherry would be prepared for it. In one swift move, she opened the door, aimed her gun, and stopped at the sight before her. In the pantry was Mr. & Mrs. Stapleton. Gun wounds to their heads, they laid inside the large pantry beside each other. It was evident by the signs in the kitchen that it wasn't a suicide. Someone did it to them. There was no way either elderly person could drag the other into the pantry. That and there wasn't blood spattered in the pantry to indicate that was how the other ended their life.

Looking for more clues, Sherry gazed around the rest of the space to see more blood stains that showed another body was dragged into the pantry. She walked towards the hallway behind the kitchen and beside the pantry to see where the source came from. She stepped above the stains but stopped when she first stepped into the hallway then turned around to see the kitchen. She was searching the scene from the point of view of the shooter. Observing the turned over chair and the blood on the wall behind it, she could presume the killer was standing exactly where she was at the time of either Mr. & Mrs. Stapleton's death. She then glanced into the hallway to see that it was probable the murderer shot both of them without taking any other steps.

The next step was to search for any other hints towards figuring out _who_ the murderer was. Sherry stayed in her spot while already used to the smell of death around her. There was a closed door next to where she stood and then she opened it to see one bullet shell on the floor of the extra bedroom in the Stapleton's home. She picked it up and examined it as she heard a floorboard creak behind her.

"Jesus Christ…" she heard as she stood up and pointed her gun towards Mark who was looking inside the pantry with disgust. Mark instantly put his hands up at the sight of Sherry and stared at her with alarm. "Jesus Christ!"

Sherry made a face and put the gun down when she mentally processed who it was. She lowered her gun and uncocked her weapon. Placing it back where she had it before, she nodded to the pantry. "No one saw the Stapleton's all of yesterday and today. I thought I would stop by to see if they were okay."

"Evidently, they've been better," Mark stated while glancing towards the dead couple once more. "Murdered?"

"Oh yeah," Sherry said leaving no room for him to question it. "I don't understand. Why kill these guys? Out of all the people to kill…" 

"Like Dwight?" Mark thought out loud. "I swear, any person before they defect wants to have Dwight's head for a prize."

"That's disconcerting," Sherry muttered but brought the shell up to her eye line to observe it once more. ".357 Magnum…" Sherry thought to herself then looked to Mark. "Do we have a list of weapons that are being used by each fighter currently?"

"We try and keep it accurate, yes," Mark answered. "I can tell you now that .357 Magnums are not made as much at the ammunition factory. There are only maybe ten men and women that use that kind of bullet in Sanctuary."

"That makes my job easier," Sherry responded then looked to Mark as she started walking outside. "Let's keep this between us for now. I'm going to talk to everyone and just let them know that we are updating the list of weapons being distributed. We'll make small talk to try and gauge some alibis. If anyone says anything remotely suspicious, we'll ask them more specific questions regarding what happened with the Stapleton's."

"And what about Mr. and Mrs. Stapleton?" Mark questioned as he closed their front door behind him.

"We'll bring them justice first and a funeral later," Sherry stated in a low voice so no one else could overhear them. "For now, we don't want to appear out of the ordinary and we don't want whoever did this to think that we are suspicious of any foul play."

"And what happens when we find the person who did it?" Mark asked while trailing her.

"Leave Dwight to figure out the rest when he gets back," Sherry responded and walked towards Dwight's house where they kept any kind of records, stored weapons, or other goods. She was determined to figure out who the killer was so people like the Stapleton's didn't have to be threatened anymore. For Sanctuary to continue, order had to exist and murderers had to be punished. She was determined to do just that.

…

They dropped off the men to work at the ammunition factory as they picked up more casings to have in their next impending battle. As usual, Eugene practically ignored Dwight upon his arrival and went straight to his work. Even though Eugene had helped Dwight in the past and vice versa, there was still an underlying animosity between the two. However, Dwight didn't particularly mind as he found Eugene's small talk to be grating anyways.

When they finished at the ammunition factory, Dwight and Miguel drove to a downtown area of a small college city that was fifteen minutes away from Sanctuary. Dwight liked to frequent the area because it was a place to find rare items that were useful to trade. During his occasional downtime that he had, he liked to collect some findings that he brought with him from scavenging. It was a hobby that he very much needed in the midst of all the craziness.

"Oh, Christmas tree! Oh, Christmas tree!" Miguel started faintly singing behind Dwight but then mumbled the other words when he couldn't think of the correct lyrics. They walked on the sidewalk beside the stores as Dwight peered into the stores to see if anything unusual had changed since the last time that he was there. "Want to know what I had for Christmas dinner, boss? A can of expired refried beans. Yeah, if it doesn't sound good, it's because it wasn't."

"I didn't know about the party at Hilltop, Miguel," Dwight said sympathetically. "If I would have known, I would have made an announcement or something."

There was quiet as Miguel thought of what to say. "Meh, I wouldn't have blamed you if you chose not to say anything anyways. Honestly, I think I would have been the only person that came out of all our troops."

Dwight sighed and stared at Miguel. "I need to keep telling our guys that the other communities aren't harboring any bad feelings. They are more than welcome to move, go to parties, anything they want."

"Yeah, I think they feel bad still," Miguel replied. "We killed a lot of their crew. They killed a lot of us. You sure there isn't bad blood there?"

"Haven't felt that way with most," Dwight answered but then thought of the few that moved to the Kingdom just to see him less frequently. "I think future actions will count more from here on out. It's important that we just stick with building Sanctuary so they can depend on us just as much as we depend on them."

"I hope it works," Miguel said but smiled. "That was my hope when I heard someone went against Negan in the first place. Had to jump on the opportunity to get on a better side."

Dwight then stepped into a store and knocked loudly with his fist on the cashier's counter to see if any walkers came into view. They both stayed quiet as they waited while Dwight scoped his favorite spot that wasn't within community walls. Satisfied with the quiet, he stepped away from the counter and towards the displays as he walked to the spot that he finished his search the last time he was there.

"I'm going to try and find some video games in the back, okay?" Miguel said and already started walking towards the back door.

Dwight waved him off and continued his search. The store they looted was an entertainment store that Miguel and Dwight often went to and used the items to trade. Dwight was surprised at how many people cared to listen to old albums or movies when they all had so much to worry about. However, he thought of his own reasoning's for want of amusement and knew others needed a break from the monotony. Memories of a better life was sometimes crucial for their present.

He scrolled through the vinyl albums and would pick out the ones that anyone had requested from him or would take some for his own personal stash that he had collected. He sometimes got both CD's and vinyl of the same album so he could put them on an iPod that he had already looted several months before.

Dwight saw the album titled _You Don't Mess Around With Jim_ as he scanned the song titles on the back. When he saw that _Operator (That's Not the Way it Feels)_ was on the line-up, a small smile crept on his face as he remembered Sherry enjoyed the music of Jim Croce and placed it in the pile of music that he would take back to Sanctuary.

…

They went back into the truck as Dwight heard static from the dashboard intercom. Both Miguel and Dwight unloaded their trivial findings in the back of the truck as Dwight placed his more precious items in the hump seat between both parties. Once he turned on the car, he reached for the speaker and brought it to his mouth.

"This is Dwight," he said while hoping it wasn't another attack while he was away.

"Dwight," he heard Sherry say almost immediately as she sounded somewhat troubled. The tone in her voice didn't strike him as being rushed but he still wanted to know what seemed to be the problem.

"Sher, what's going on back home?" Dwight said into the intercom.

"It's the Stapleton's," Sherry answered gravely. "They were murdered in their house."

"Holy fuck," Miguel muttered with a groan.

"You know for sure that they were murdered?" Dwight questioned. They were an older couple. Dying of old age was a logical conclusion to jump to.

"Already got a confession from Bob," Sherry replied. "We're holding him at the courthouse until you get a chance to talk to him."

Dwight shook his head in disbelief as he and Miguel both exchanged looks of dismay. "Alright, I'll talk to him the second that I get back." He placed the intercom speaker into its holding place then let out a groan. "Jesus, it's a never ending cycle with these guys."

"With every person that we kick out, the more manpower the exiled Saviors have," Miguel said and gave Dwight a knowing look. "Rick's rules or not, we're kind of at war, boss. Giving those guys an army isn't helping our situation."

…

Sherry twiddled her thumbs as she waited in the courthouse hallway beside the room where Bob was being held in. When going over who owned what kind of weapon, they came upon Bob who was walking around the backyard of the Stapleton's. Mark seized him when Bob started to run while Sherry peered beyond the walker-riddled fence to see a man booking it away from Sanctuary. They didn't need to question him much on anything. They already had the answers that they needed.

She sat on the floor and waited for Dwight to make his way back to their dysfunctional home. Despite finding the killer merely two hours after they set out to do so, Sherry was disheartened at the lack of commitment from more than half of Sanctuary to be a true community. They didn't necessarily have manpower on their side to really step up and make the difference that they wanted to.

Sounds emerged from the staircase as Sherry glanced towards the hallway entrance to see Dwight, Miguel, and Mark starting towards her. Dwight's attitude seemed grave but when he got to her, he still gave her a light kiss on the head and a hand on her back in greeting.

"Mark told us what happened on our way up here," Dwight started then nodded to the door. "He's in there?"

Sherry nodded. "Dwight, he can't leave here. We saw an exiled Savior speaking to him from the other side of the fence. He knows information and has been planning to sabotage us from the inside."

"I know a thing or two about that," Dwight gruffed in response referring to his own time being a double agent.

She stared intently at him to make sure that he was listening to her words carefully. "We need to send a message to them and anyone else who is trying to expose us...domestically."

"I hear ya," Dwight said quietly and looked to her hopefully. "I'll take care of it."

"I know you will," Sherry responded with confidence but was saddened that he had to do what needed to be done. In the end, they needed a fighting chance to survive. Not just as a community but the people within the community needed to be protected.

…

They spent more than an hour questioning Bob about his involvement with the exiled Saviors. For the whole time, he stayed mum on the subject with a smug look on his face. It nearly drove Dwight made as he only wanted to punch that pretentious face of his. When it appeared as if the conversation wasn't going to way he wanted it to, he maintained an even composure and waited to strike when his patience had officially run out.

"Did you murder Mr. and Mrs. Stapleton last night?" Dwight questioned firmly.

Bob spat at Dwight's feet then looked up to him with defiance. "Fuck you!"

Dwight thought of the older couple that survived together against all odds with their frailty and age making them desperate to find a place to settle down and live throughout their lives. Because of their condition, Dwight gave the older couple a pass with hard labor and said that they could contribute in other ways. Mrs. Stapleton proved helpful to all communities as she provided quilts and knitted blankets for new families that had arrived. It was hard to not take the kill personally since Dwight's own goddaughter wore a knitted hat that the sweet woman made specifically for the small infant.

"What was your motivation behind it?" Dwight then asked through gritted teeth while feeling his temperature rising. He was going to have to let Bob go. However, it was just one more person that they would have to fight later. Dwight knew Rick wouldn't understand the other option that he entertained but knew that Rick didn't necessarily have to know. The other communities weren't at war but Sanctuary's war never ended. It was ongoing with threats being outside and inside the walls on a constant loop. Dwight didn't see an end in sight. "You could have killed any able bodied person who fights the exiled Saviors on a daily basis. Why did you go after the Stapleton's?"

"If I give you an answer, will you let me start packing so I can get the fuck out of here?" Bob asked snidely. Dwight shrugged in response as Bob scoffed in his direction. "It's pretty simple. I was relaying information to some exiled Saviors and the old man saw me. I offered to explain myself and then killed them in their house. Now can I go?"

Dwight took a deep breath and nodded to both Miguel and Mark. "You know the protocol," he reminded darkly as Miguel handed him a gun.

"Yep, not a word to Rick," Miguel stated as they both stepped outside the room.

"Wait, what's going on?" Bob asked as he sat up in his chair while staring at the gun. Dwight closed the door behind his confidantes and then stared back at Bob.

"You killed people in our group, Bob," Dwight uttered and checked to see if the gun was loaded. "Rules are _supposed_ to be that I send you packing where you can try and press your luck on your own. But I know where you're going. _You_ know where you're going. If I knew the exiled Saviors would leave us alone then we would be having a different conversation right now. Keeping you alive only for you to attack us in the future just doesn't make any sense to me."

"I want to speak to Rick," Bob defended arrogantly with his nose in the air. "This is against his code. I have rights that need to be met."

"You seem to be appreciating the rules a lot more than you did a minute ago," Dwight responded. "Do you know what happened to Nigel or Kyle? They were the last two men that were exiled."

"The Saviors on the other side of the wall said that they never made it to their camp," Bob confessed but then shook his head as clarity struck him. "They didn't get killed by walkers, did they?"

Dwight pursed his lips and nodded. "They were killed in this same room, actually," he responded as Bob sank into his chair knowing he didn't stand a chance. "Rick's rules are great and they have done a lot of good. Sanctuary is under another jurisdiction for the time being. It's because of ungrateful fucks like you who are messing shit up."

"Fucking hypocrite," Bob snarled. "Sounds like something _Negan_ would have said."

The words bit under Dwight's skin more than he thought they would. "Well, what am I supposed to fucking do, Bob?" He grilled and started pacing. "Am I just supposed to let men in Sanctuary kill...rape...attack people? We're trying to build something good here. You aren't messing shit up because you want things to be better along with us. You are trying to make it worse. I cannot in good conscience let you go free."

Bob started breathing heavily once the initial shock ran its course. He knew he was going to die within minutes if not seconds. "Fuck you, man," he muttered as he hung his head.

Dwight stared at him for a long moment and drew a deep breath. No longer wanting to deal with the emotions that came with such heavy decision making, he turned on the switch in his head and left himself to deal with the repercussions later. He cocked the gun and aimed it at Bob's head then pulled the trigger.

…

 _Dwight was standing in the foyer of Hilltop as surrounding community members were laughing and conversing much like the Christmas Eve dinner a couple of days earlier. He could almost tell that it was a dream since some things seemed out of the ordinary. For instance, he saw Takuya and Megan talking to a circle of people. In the circle were a couple of other faces that he hadn't seen in a long time. Jason and Terri had their two oldest children beside them._

 _In another part of the room, Dwight could see Dean talking to the boy he knew to be Drew. Eerily, they spoke at the threshold of the room that Dwight had killed Drew in years before. It was unmistakable that it was all a dream. Even as he continued to remind himself that it was a dream, he saw his family beside the fireplace. His father, Jack, had one arm around Sherry as he said something for only her to hear. Upon hearing what he had to say, Sherry looked up to his dad and smiled warmly. His mom, Rebekah, looked on as she spoke to his brother, John, while they all appeared to be happy._

 _Dwight walked up to them at the same time that he got a quick glance at himself from the mirror on top of the fireplace. His face was free of any previous burn that Negan had given him._ Don't fall for it, _Dwight's subconscious thought._ Your dreams always start this way and end up being fucked.

 _His mom first embraced him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm so proud of you, Dwight," she said fondly. "All of these people are alive because of you."_

 _Dwight couldn't answer but what his mom said didn't make sense. Most of the people in the room were_ dead _because of him. He wanted to correct her but his dream wasn't allowing him to speak. Her appraisal of him made him feel unworthy to be around her. Had she known the truth, she would not feel the same in regards to her younger son._

" _We're all proud of you," John stated and patted his brother on the back. "You're doing great things with your life."_

 _Again, he wanted to tell John that the community he was running was falling to bits but he couldn't say it. He almost liked the praise that he was given. Not that it was deserved but that he went a long time without hearing that he was ever doing the right thing. That was besides Sherry who had to remind him but her words didn't always leave him convinced with the overwhelming bad that was surrounding Sanctuary._

 _The other shoe never dropped as the entirety of the dream was filled with laughter and joy among friends that Dwight didn't think he would ever see again. There was one thing that remained a strong fixture of the dream. Drew never left his spot beside the room that Dwight killed him in. At times when Dwight glanced towards him to see if he disappeared. Drew would be looking directly at him with arms folded. His expression wasn't bitter or resentful. But Dwight knew in real life, that he should be hated by most of the people in the room. It was all a façade. It didn't make him feel better about his past while the dream tried to sweep everything under a rug. Dwight committed egregious crimes and continued to do so. As he watched Sherry and his mom converse in the dream, he started backing away from the scene. Sooner or later, they would know what he did. His scar would return and they would scream. Instead, he removed himself from the party and opened Hilltop mansion's front door to escape._

Taking deep breaths, Dwight sat up and stared around his bedroom. _It was another dream,_ Dwight thought as he shook his head in bitterness. _Another fucking dream._

…

Dwight's eyes fluttered open at the sound of things being moved around him. His vision wasn't exactly clear so he relied on his other sources to figure out what was around him. He could tell that he was in Sanctuary's bar. It was still dark outside but Dwight knew he had been there for at least a few hours. Being unable to fall back asleep after his dream, he went to the bar alone and got plastered to forget the stresses that he had. He soon fell asleep in a drunken stupor.

"You were lucky tonight," he heard Sherry mutter behind him. Dwight didn't even lift his head from the bar counter as he moaned in response. He could hear glass clattering as it hit his senses like it was the sound of a freight train instead.

"Dwight, why do you keep doing this to yourself?" Sherry asked with some remorse in her voice. "I know some of the guys say to drink your problems away but is it really helping that much? Is it worth all this?"

"I...just…" Dwight mumbled but quit trying to justify himself. He let out a deep growl and rolled his face over so his forehead rested on the counter instead.

He heard the clanking of the glasses continue as he looked up to see what Sherry was doing. She glanced up at him unapologetically as she placed all the alcohol in a box. "This is all going somewhere else. Miguel, Mark, and I had a vote. It was unanimous. _None_ of our people should be dealing with this while we still have stuff to do," she explained as if it wasn't up for discussion. "Least of all you," she added.

"Not unanimous, I vote to keep it where it is," Dwight complained.

"Still have three votes against you, sweetie," Sherry upheld. She took a seat beside him and put a gentle hand on his back. "Did you have another dream?"

Dwight scrunched his eyebrows together while laying his head over his folded arms on the bar. "What bad dreams?" He feigned unimpressively.

"We slept in the same bed at Hilltop," Sherry reminded. "You talk in your sleep, by the way."

Dwight snorted in response but then felt a sorrow take over him. He vowed to not have Sherry know that he was struggling as much as he was. _She_ was supposed to depend on _him._ Not the other way around. He never wanted to be a burden to her. Sherry cleaning alcohol away for him wasn't helping the situation either.

"You weren't the only one that made bad decisions in the past," Sherry said quietly. Even though he didn't tell her the turmoil that he suffered, she knew where the source rested. "I killed Ryan, ya know. Not a day goes by where I don't regret that. I see Valerie walking around Sanctuary and I can't bring myself to even tell her that her husband's death is on my shoulders."

"You did it because of me," Dwight defended.

"I did it because _I_ was angry," Sherry corrected as a tear escaped her eye. "Your outcome wouldn't have changed one bit had I just brought him with me to Hilltop. I'm sure that's how you feel with a lot of the kills you made too. You killed to keep me safe, my outcome stayed the same regardless of what you did."

Dwight didn't respond and just listened to what Sherry had to say. By nature, she was a very forward person and said what she meant in regards to everything around her. When it came to his alcohol problem, she held her tongue and let him crash into a wall. She waited when she thought he was ready to hear a voice of reason.

"People want you dead. _Here,_ " Sherry said to indicate Sanctuary. "Give someone the opportunity to shoot you in the head and they'll take it. Coming to the bar alone and getting yourself drunk wasn't the best cooked scheme that you've had."

"I can't do it," Dwight confessed quietly as he stared into her eyes. "I can't be a leader to these people, I can't get my life figured out, and I can't make you happy. Forgive me for trying to forget all of that."

Sherry was quiet for a moment as Dwight assumed she would leave after he said what was on his mind. What he revealed wasn't ideal. The look on Sherry's face let him know that she understood just how broken he felt on the inside. Any person should have given up on him. Like the exiled Saviors, he was equally a lost cause.

"No," Sherry said softly but with conviction. "Nope, I'm not letting you quit. You have come so far and I won't let you throw it all away." She stood up and put her head on Dwight's shoulder as she leaned against him gently. "First off, you _do_ make me happy. Our time away from Sanctuary should confirm that. And you will never inconvenience me when you are going through a tough time. You do the same for me; it's only fair for me to pay it forward. That's how couples work. Secondly, you need to talk to _someone_ about what's bothering you. Whether it's me or not, talk to someone about your past and sort through it. It doesn't need to stay in there."

"I will if you will," Dwight challenged in a snarky tone as he glimpsed at Sherry who had things to sort through on her own.

Sherry pursed her lips in response then sighed. "Fair point," she conceded but then continued. "Thirdly… I think taking the job as leader of Sanctuary when you did saved a lot of people from being killed. However, with everything that has happened in the last couple of months… our forces leaving for better communities, being attacked… No one is going to judge you for letting this place be and moving on. You tried. I tried. A lot of us tried. It could be better for all of us to just leave it behind. It was important for you to take responsibility of Sanctuary before. It's not expected of you now."

"Talk to Rick about this?" Dwight asked with curiosity wondering if Sherry raised her concerns with other community leaders.

"No, but I think he already knows," Sherry said simply. "As a leader, it's your job to find the _right_ solution for your people. Not the one that seems noble or strong but the _right_ one. People are tired, Dwight. They want to live their lives without fighting to keep it."

Dwight lifted his head up and looked to the one person who was his constant in his life. He didn't even think that she could be any more of a perfect person. Her patience with him confirmed her commitment to him. Even though he didn't like being anything other than strong for her, she took him regardless. She listened to his personal grief and said exactly what needed to be said.

They both had things they needed to work on. The painful memories almost seemed too difficult to comprehend. That was until Sherry opened the door to talk about it to someone. In that moment, Dwight didn't want to talk to anyone else but her.

"I will discuss the idea about closing up shop with Rick," Dwight revealed and reached for Sherry's hand that rested on his shoulder. He gazed towards her then nodded towards the cardboard box filled with alcoholic beverages. "I'll help you pack those up."

Sherry kissed the side of his burnt face while holding his shoulder down firmly to keep him from standing up. "Don't worry about it. I got it taken care of."

"You are one of a kind," Dwight muttered and rested his head on the counter once more.

"I'm just being your voice of reason," Sherry replied as the clinking of glass commenced. "Miguel and Mark are outside waiting to escort you home. Rest up a bit. When we get back to Hilltop, we'll make plans to organize moving families away from wherever they decide to live."

"Given this a lot of thought, I see," Dwight joked but admired Sherry's original knack to plan things out ahead of time.

"Ya know, when someone is trying to assassinate your boyfriend every other day, you make the necessary plans to get him out," Sherry explained lightly while continuing her work.

"I should have thought to get you out of here," Dwight said while thinking of how miserable she had been in the last several months.

"You're forgetting that you _have_ tried to get me out of here," Sherry replied. "I simply chose to stay. But if I leave, you are coming with me."

"Well, that's just a heart warmer," Dwight responded with a small grin. He was undeserving of the love he had with Sherry. At least he felt like he was. He hoped to not let her down so much in the future if ever.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, & FACTS**

 **#1 - Who has two thumbs and gets to meet Jeffrey Dean Morgan in April? THIS GIRL! Very excited!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 _December 29, 2013_

"Maggie Rhee, what name do you give your child?" Father Gabriel questioned.

"Hershel Glenn Rhee," Maggie answered softly as she gazed down at Hershel.

Dwight could probably count the number of times that he had been to a church service with just one hand as he glanced at everyone in the room. They all looked on the scene of Maggie's baby being baptized before Noelle's ceremony began. It was a surprise to Dwight that Carson and Ashlyn asked him to be a godparent to their daughter alongside Sherry. Not even a week ago, he didn't anticipate having any kind of relationship with the kid. However, he ended up being the second person to first ever hold her.

He was going to have the title of godfather. All the traditions of last names and baptisms were important to their communities. They were all small things but they still mattered. It made them feel human again.

"In asking for baptism, it will be your responsibility to train Hershel in the practice of our Faith, by keeping God's commandments as Christ taught us. Sasha, are you ready to help Maggie in her duty as a Christian parent?" Father Gabriel asked her.

"I am," Sasha replied and looked toward Maggie then at the bundle in her arms.

Father Gabriel continued to speak as Dwight took careful notes when it was his turn to go up there for his own godchild. He didn't need to say much but knowing himself, he would end up saying the wrong thing anyway from psyching himself out. Sherry must have noticed his nerves arising and squeezed his hand in support. The longer that Hershel's ceremony went on, the more apprehensive he got for when it was Noelle's turn. There were too many things to remember.

Time passed as they waited silently for Hershel's rite of baptism to be finished. Ashlyn had to feed Noelle halfway through while Dwight almost fell asleep standing up but forced himself to stay present just in case they called upon him to do something.

Sherry elbowed him once Maggie, Sasha, and Hershel stepped away from Father Gabriel as he then stared at Ashlyn and Carson expectantly. Dwight watched as the new parents then walked forward. Father Gabriel looked to Ashlyn and Carson then cleared his throat. "We welcome this child as a gift from God, the source of life, who now wishes to bestow His own life on this little one. Ashlyn and Hector Carson, what name do you give your child?" He questioned Ashlyn.

"Noelle Amanda Carson," Ashlyn responded while Carson held the baby.

"What do you ask of God's Church for Noelle?" Father Gabriel asked kindly.

"Baptism," Ashlyn answered as she previously studied exactly what to say before the service.

Father Gabriel smiled at both Ashlyn and Carson and nodded his approval. "Will Noelle's godparents step forward?" Father Gabriel instructed.

Dwight exhaled deeply as he held Sherry's hand. They both walked towards Father Gabriel where his makeshift podium was in the Hilltop mansion.

"In asking for baptism, it will be your responsibility to train Noelle in the practice of our faith, by keeping God's commandments as Christ taught us," Father Gabriel told as he looked to both Sherry and Dwight respectively. "Godparents, are you ready to help the parents in their duty as Christian parents?"

"Yes," Dwight said as Sherry shook her head and gave him a side look to relay to him that he said the wrong words. "Um, we are." Dwight corrected.

"We are," Sherry echoed.

Father Gabriel grinned once more and then invited Ashlyn and Carson to stand beside them. "Noelle, the Christian community welcomes you with great joy. In the name of all of us here present and all of God's people, I claim you for Christ by the sign of the cross and invite your parents and godparents to do the same." Gabriel signed the cross on Noelle's forehead followed by both Ashlyn and Carson. Ashlyn then glanced towards Sherry who did it as well then looked to Dwight. Dwight took a deep breath and traced the sign of the cross on Noelle's small forehead. She squinted slightly at the touch but then went back to her usual slumber.

…

"Dear parents and godparents," Father Gabriel continued. In all honesty, Dwight felt somewhat entranced by all the practices it took to be legitimized in the sight of God and thought the order and time that Father Gabriel took for the rite of baptism was impressive. He didn't _need_ to do everything by the book but chose to do so anyways. Dwight thought it refreshing as their life seemed to be tumultuous and without order anyways. Father Gabriel even continued to wear the collared shirt. "You have come here to present this child for baptism. By water and the Holy Spirit she is to receive the gift of new life from God, who is love.

"On your part, you must make it your constant care to bring her up in the practice of the faith. See that the divine life which God gives her is kept safe from the poison of sin, to grow always stronger in her heart.

"If your faith makes you ready to accept this responsibility, renew now the vows of your own baptism. Reject sin; profess your faith in Christ Jesus. This is the faith of the Church. This is the faith in which this child is about to be baptized," Father Gabriel invited and then glanced up to the four of them. Dwight felt nervous as he couldn't remember if he was even baptized in any church or not. If he had been, it would have been when he was Noelle's age. Even then, he couldn't remember any vows that he made previously. How _could_ he remember? He started wondering if he was ill-equipped for the godfather gig but Father Gabriel continued.

"Do you reject Satan?" He asked them.

All of them answered that they did. _Not like you joined a cult, Orlich. First question and you're good,_ he thought.

"And all his works?"

They all answered in the same fashion as Dwight glanced towards Carson answering the same way knowing what his own friend had done in the past under the ironic title of a Savior. _Maybe he spoke with Father Gabriel before. I'm sure Father Gabriel knows the shit that we have all done. I'm not the only one that has done bad things._

"Do you reject sin, so as to live in the freedom of God's children?"

 _Define sin,_ Dwight thought but ended up saying he did so that he wouldn't make a scene out of respect for Carson and Ashlyn.

"Do you reject the glamor of evil, and refuse to be mastered by sin?"

They answered optimally even though Dwight was confused by the question and wondered where he fell in regards to living the teachings fully. He didn't necessarily believe in an afterlife but if there was one, he wondered if God frowned upon promises that couldn't possibly be kept.

"Do you reject Satan, father of sin and prince of darkness?"

They answered again as Father Gabriel then asked questions if they believed in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Those inquiries made Dwight even more uncomfortable as he couldn't answer definitively whether he knew those deities were even real. However, he kept his mouth shut and just responded to the question knowing that asking specific questions wasn't the time or place.

The rite continued with water being poured on Noelle's head. She at first shrieked from the surprising sensation of lukewarm water and squirmed in Carson's hands but Father Gabriel was finished before she had a flow blown meltdown. Carson then brought her into a warm fatherly embrace to comfort her and just like that was quiet again.

…

"Hector James Carson and Ashlyn Martha Anderson, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?" Father Gabriel asked them in the final ceremony of the day. Dwight and Sherry looked on while Sherry held baby Noelle as the newborn continued to sleep peacefully in her arms.

They both answered as Dwight quickly glanced towards Sherry. She watched the marriage take place with wide eyes that were a mixture of gratitude and remorse. It made Dwight do a double take as he noticed that tears started to well up in her eyes. He wondered what was going on in her mind and wanted to make the sadness go away. More importantly, he wanted to know if he was the source of her crying and if he could do anything to be better for her.

It hit him then that perhaps his realization before was true. The traditions of last names, holidays, baptisms, and being a godparent seemed alien to him because he barely felt human anymore. He wanted to be redeemable but the things that Father Gabriel said seemed impossible. In the sight of God, he was a lost cause.

…

Sherry watched Carson and Ashlyn say their promises to each other as the couple took each other's right hand. Carson cleared his throat and looked to Ashlyn lovingly then began what he was supposed to say. "I, Hector James Carson, take you Ashlyn Martha Anderson to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

A tear fell down her cheek at his words. The one "marriage" that Sherry was a part of didn't guarantee any of those in the proposal. Granted, Negan proved to take care of her in his own way which made it all the more confusing. The reality was difficult to pry away from the fantasy that she placed in her head to make herself feel better about the terrible situation that she once was in. Watching Carson and Ashlyn exchange vows was almost eye opening. The word "marriage" to Negan was only a glorified title as he used it to manipulate her and the other women that he chose to be a part of his harem. Beyond the word itself, no promises were made other than her group being kept alive according to their agreement. It was nothing more than that. _Sherry, it was nothing more than that,_ she thought to herself to try and etch that into her mind.

Every day she pondered whether or not she was a broken individual. She watched Ashlyn and Carson vow to stay with each other through thick and thin and hoped that she could provide that to the person standing right next to her. With tears flowing down her face, she quickly wiped them away then looked up to Dwight who was already staring at her with concern. She loved him as he proved to her time and time again that he would always be there when she needed him to be. Most of the time, she didn't ask for him to pick up the mess that was her life but he did it anyways. Even if he was having trouble in his own life, he made sure to provide for her.

She wanted to make the same promises to Dwight one day however she wondered if she was capable of doing so. Ashlyn looked to Carson with such love and adoration. It was as if Negan had never touched her. By all intent and purposes, the baby that Sherry held in her arms was one hundred percent Carson's based on the love that he gave her.

Something was blocking Sherry from moving on. The past made her untrusting of her own self. Presently, she felt as damaged as she did before she first arrived to Alexandria. It was easier said than done to heal a broken spirit. As she locked eyes with Dwight, she could see that he felt the same way. They were both tired and didn't even know where to begin on their journey towards peace. Sherry hoped that they weren't both ruined for time and all eternity. If Ashlyn could find happiness, so could she. She was determined to find it.

"You have declared your consent before the Church," Father Gabriel spoke up. Dwight and Sherry didn't even glance towards the ceremony and continued to be lost in their own world while at the same time letting Father Gabriel's words soak in. "May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide."

…

Dinner was prepared for everyone in the mansion as Dwight walked into the large office to see Father Gabriel still conversing with several people in delighted tones. Dwight decided to turn around and not bother them until Father Gabriel gestured for him to come closer. "Dwight," the priest called and excused himself from the people speaking to him. "I wanted to speak with you after the wedding ceremony but you left in a hurry."

"Oh," Dwight said almost in a question as the other people in the room decided to join the others in congratulating either Ashlyn or Maggie upon the ceremonies that had just transpired. "I didn't mean to take you away from the crowd."

"No, don't worry about that," Father Gabriel responded with a hand up to assure him that he didn't have any ill-will. The man paused and looked to Dwight while pondering what to say next. "Dwight, I don't ever want to come across as someone that is more privileged than others because of my profession."

Dwight raised an eyebrow wondering where the conversation was headed but let Father Gabriel continue. "What I mean to say is that I try to stay in tune with what the Lord wants from me. I confess that I have failed him in the past but I feel as if he has forgiven some past doings so I can better serve His flock."

Not sure what to say, Dwight just started to smile to lighten the mood. "What? Am I in trouble with the man upstairs?"

Father Gabriel didn't get the humor and started speaking again. "Not necessarily," he answered. "I have taken it upon myself to ask the Lord what he wants from me personally. Specifically, I ask him who needs help among His people." He stopped while leaving the rest of his thought for Dwight to connect.

"So…" Dwight began skeptically, "God wants _you_ to help _me_?"

"I had a strong impression that he wanted me to see how you are doing, yes," Father Gabriel said and gestured towards the couch. "Would you like to sit down?"

Dwight felt tempted to say no but chose to keep his mouth shut. His points for being an outstanding character were low and he felt that turning down free help from a holy man was a step in the wrong direction. Reluctantly, he sat down while Father Gabriel took a seat on the other edge of the couch.

"Is this supposed to be a confession?" Dwight questioned.

"That depends," Father Gabriel replied. "Do you feel the need to confess, Dwight?"

Dwight thought about the vows that he made as godfather to Noelle. Even though they didn't particularly matter to him, they mattered to the people around him. And that counted for something in his book. "I think so? From what you said during the baptism, I just wondered if I am doing everything I am supposed to be doing. With the new world that we live in… I just don't know if I am really capable of being a decent person at all. I suppose that doesn't make sense though."

"Dwight, we have _all_ done bad things," Father Gabriel said quietly while folding his arms. "You aren't the only one that has killed others in order to survive. Those first couple of years were difficult on everyone and not just you. Is there anything that is bothering you specifically that you want to address?"

"Is this how a confession begins?" Dwight asked wondering if he was already knee deep in another sacred rite already.

Father Gabriel sat up in his seat and clasped his hands together as he closed his eyes. Dwight watched as the man said a silent prayer to himself then opened his mouth to speak. "Almighty God, who does freely pardon all who repent and turn to Him, now fulfill in every contrite heart the promise of redeeming grace; forgiving all our sins, and cleansing us from the evil conscience; through the perfect sacrifice of Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen." Father Gabriel then opened his eyes and nodded to Dwight that the confession had officially begun.

"Bless me father, for I have sinned." Dwight stammered unsure if those were the right words to say. He was only going off of what he heard in the movies or television.

"When was your last confession?" Father Gabriel asked.

Dwight pursed his lips together and huffed quietly through his nose. "Um, this would be my first confession. Ever."

"Did you not go to church before the world changed?" Father Gabriel inquired.

"I went for Easter and Christmas every year with my mom. When she died, I stopped going altogether," Dwight conveyed while thinking of the memory of wearing matching bowties with his father and brother for the various special occasions. One year, they even did light-up bowties for Christmas much to the embarrassment of their mom.

"Have you found God during these last days?" Father Gabriel pressed.

Dwight paused while wondering how to answer in a favorable way. Going to confession and denying a higher power seemed like an oxymoron to him.

"That didn't sound too convincing," Father Gabriel said with mild amusement knowing somewhat where Dwight stood.

Dwight stirred in his chair already feeling uncomfortable. But he still needed to get several things off his chest regardless. "I believe that _if_ there is a higher power then I am definitely fu…" Dwight stopped himself to fix his wording before he added another sin to his first confession. He never did it before, but he knew swearing was probably frowned upon. "I am...not in the best position for any kind of salvation."

" _If…_ So you do or don't believe?" Father Gabriel inquired.

"Let's just say that I'm…agnostic…for the time being," Dwight settled evenly.

"Fair enough," Gabriel answered. "What is your sin, Dwight?"

"It's plural sins; not just one," Dwight corrected. "Should we just go down the list?"

"Just go where you feel you need to start. What is troubling you the most?"

"Should we start when I first met you?" Dwight asked and looked to Father Gabriel knowingly. When he first met him, he put a gun to the side of his head and threatened to kill him. Dwight didn't have any intention of killing a priest however he knew threats could be just as offensive to God as the real deal. "I killed people... I did all of these things to protect others that I cared about... but that doesn't erase the guilt I _still_ feel. While it was going on, I learned to shut that part of my brain away so my conscience didn't eat me alive. I slept fine, went about my day like it was any other day... Now that it is all over, I don't really know how to process it all. I have killed upwards of three hundred people. _Three hundred_... To keep _one_ person alive."

"The Lord loves all of His children," Father Gabriel responded quietly and looked down to his lap. "He condemns bloodshed as He did when Cain killed his own brother. However, I believe the Lord is able to look past our previous wrongdoings as long as we make room for a better and true repentant future. Tell me something, Dwight. What are you personally doing now that pleases the Lord?"

Dwight grimaced and glanced towards Father Gabriel with a raised eyebrow. "Everything said here is kept between the two of us, right?"

"Confessions are confidential, yes," Father Gabriel answered, "Just go from the worst sin to the least."

Taking a deep breath, Dwight stared at the opposite wall wondering why he was having such a difficult time saying the words that needed to be said. "I...have killed men even after Rick told the communities that it's forbidden. All men were unarmed and it wasn't a battle. They don't fall under Rick's exceptions to the rule. I executed them. I just...didn't want to set these same men loose when they were just going to try and kill us later. I'm having a difficult time moving on when that kind of stuff happens. I don't feel like I have changed from the life I used to have while I was a Savior. Not all the people I killed then were bad people. Some were good. How can I live with myself when I know people are dead because of me?"

"Like I said before," Father Gabriel said slowly. "We have all done something. I want you to think of something for a second. Do you ever think about the extraordinary miracle that we are still alive? Do you ever wonder why the Lord chose us to live? If our civilization has entered a new genesis, why has the Lord chosen us to reap the new world? Does he see that we have something to offer for the betterment of it? Does he see that you, Dwight, are still here to fix things that you personally broke?"

"I don't think I understand," Dwight replied. "Are you saying that even though I killed people that I _deserve_ to be alive more than the people that are six feet under?"

"Certainly not," Father Gabriel clarified. "I'm saying that whether the circumstances be Divine or just simple Darwinism, we are still here to either continue our godless crusades or to make the world better. If every person that felt they did something wrong killed themselves in a guilty depression, the world would become extinct of the human population. So, Dwight of the two options, which one do you want to be a part of? Do you want to continue to sin because it's easier or do you want to strive to correct your past misgivings and serve Christ's children?

"The Lord forgives you for what you have done so long as you strive to stand as a witness to Him at all times, in all things, and all places," Father Gabriel finished and looked to Dwight. "With time, you will learn to forgive yourself as the Lord has forgiven you. Serve Him. Serve His people. Eventually, you will find the peace that you have been searching for. Does that make sense to you?"

Dwight took another deep breath and understood the concept even if he didn't necessarily believe there was a Lord _to_ serve. However, he got what Father Gabriel was trying to convey. Even not being the most religious man, he believed a higher power could be interpreted as a metaphor for the ultimate scorekeeper. Almost like karma. Dwight could at least cling to the concept of serving others around him because he knew it counted for something on his moral character.

"Go in peace to love and serve the Lord," Father Gabriel stated and patted Dwight on the back.

…

Sherry continued to hold Noelle as she stood in a circle surrounded by friends. They all fawned over Ashlyn's dress that had been found at a local bridal store. It was a simple, knee-length, lace dress with three quarter length sleeves. Megan went on a supply run with Sasha and Carson to pick it out for her when she was not in a position to leave her newborn daughter for a long period of time.

"It was one of the first dresses that I saw," Megan bragged happily. "But I knew it had Ashlyn written all over it."

"It's weird to have something so formal," Ashlyn admitted but beamed when she said it. She then turned to glance at Carson who was talking to Jesus and Aaron. They smiled towards each other as Sherry could see the deep affection they shared. Their love for each other was stronger than physical attraction. Even Ashlyn confided to Sherry that they hadn't even had sex before because she didn't want her first time to be when she was heavily pregnant with Noelle. Sherry was grateful for Ashlyn to have found someone as wonderful as Carson.

"So, who's next to get married out of all of us?" Amber asked with a grin.

"Maybe you and Mark," Christy teased lightly while Sherry noticed Megan's complexion immediately paled at the statement.

In response, Amber laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, maybe," she said but Sherry could sense something was amiss by the way Megan and Amber responded.

Noelle started to cry as Ashlyn and Carson quickly glanced towards Sherry in mild alarm. Sherry waved them off and started walking up the stairs. "Don't worry about it. You just fed her. I'll see if her diaper needs to be changed or if she needs to nap in a quiet place."

"Are you sure?" Ashlyn asked while Carson placed a hand on his wife's shoulder.

"Positive," Sherry answered. "This is your day. Have an opportunity to talk to your people while being baby free."

Ashlyn and Carson had no further objection at Sherry's suggestion and continued to converse with their friends. Sherry walked up to Ashlyn's room and shut the door behind her while Noelle increased her whimpers. First Sherry, checked the little one's diaper to see it was still clean and then sat down on the cushioned rocking chair with Noelle resting over her chest. She began rocking and grabbed a pacifier for her goddaughter to calm her down from all the noise downstairs. Soon enough, her cries subsided. Sherry found it odd that the more Noelle relaxed, the more the lump in Sherry's throat increased. She was sad. She didn't understand why because of the great day that they were having. But she couldn't shake the bitter grief that she felt in that moment.

Silent tears fell down as she leaned her head against the rocking chair and openly sobbed. Noelle was resting once more as they both stayed quiet within the small room. There was no other emotion than the sorrow that pierced her heart. She thought of Negan and the confusion that was still present. The fantasy that he was a good person lingered with her at times when she even missed him or simply missed the moments that he did show kindness towards her. At times, his goodness had Sherry overlook the memories of his destructive behavior. Her heart constricted even more as she thought of him when she was reminded of the vicious actions he partook of. He took so much of her in the process and hurt her in what she felt was simply beyond repair.

With the feelings that still arose from her, she only felt like a despicable person. In no way could she commit to Dwight when there was so much turmoil in her heart. She truly loved him more than she loved Negan… but she still loved someone else. Or at least her mind refused to let that notion go. Knowing that was where she stood, she couldn't make vows with him like Ashlyn and Carson did. At least not at that moment.

 _It's time,_ Sherry thought. _It's time to truly move on._

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, & FACTS**

 **#1 - Keep in mind that baptismal rites and wedding ceremonies are a LOT longer than written on here. Just a lot more to it. Did I want to write out the whole thing? No. But mostly I thought no one was really interested in reading ALL of it. So snippets will have to do.**

 **#2 - Was it ever clarified what Father Gabriel's religious denomination was? I assumed that he was Catholic so in this fanfic, he's a Catholic. He could be Presbyterian or Lutheran, right? I'm not too familiar with what they teach though so...let's just say that he's Catholic LOL.**

 **#3 - I want to clarify something in regards to Sherry as some of her themes in this book may feel repetitive. Only because getting over something like that IS repetitive. It's a long process of thinking and overthinking the same events and rehashing what you could have done better, justifying the attacker's motives, justifying your own motives, and a lot of heart & mind connection that can either leave you broken or offer you needed clarity. IT SUCKS! But this is partially a reason why I didn't want to go straight into the events of book 6 (Whisperer portion). Only because books 1-4 took up so much storylines of abuse, it's fair for the readers to feel that Sherry truly moved on and that her character has been fleshed out as much as possible. Not saying she'll be 100% better during the events of book 6 but there will be a time jump. She will know how to process things better than she does now. That I can guarantee.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 _February 1, 2014_

The morning sun appeared in through the window as a ray of light rested directly on Sherry's face. Scrunching up her already closed eyes in dissatisfaction, she turned over to the other side of the bed while mentally attempting to gauge what time it was. It had been awhile since the sun had made its appearance during the winter months. Despite it disturbing her sleep, it was a welcome sight.

Sherry nearly leapt out of her skin when the alarm clock actually rang with music. It took her by surprise because she didn't recall setting the device to play anything but its regular beeping noise. Turning her head once more to face the nightstand, she raised an eyebrow when the sound of an acoustic guitar was being picked with a familiar tune. The warm memories filled her mind of the past when she often listened to the song while taking long road trips with her family. She smiled. _Cheesy enough to be the work of Dwight's,_ she thought. She stared at the nightstand for a moment while her eyes still adjusted to the bright sun flooding in from behind the partially closed drapes.

" _Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter,  
Little darling, it feels like years since we've been here._

 _Here comes the sun,_

 _Here comes the sun, and I say,_

 _It's alright,"_

The song and Dwight's sentiment gave her a combination that made it impossible to stop smiling. As her eyes continued to adapt from being closed after a long period of rest, she then brought her head up when seeing a note attached to the alarm clock that was still playing the melodious song. Immediately knowing the handwriting and not expecting it to be anyone else's, she grabbed the thin sheet of paper and then propped her elbows beneath her chest as she began to read it.

 _Care to have a little adventure?_

It wasn't that Sherry had been in a constant funk but she could say that her bad days far surpassed the good ones. It was the first morning that she woke up not dreading the day ahead of her. Instead, she felt some extra motivation to get out of bed combined with a sense of intrigue. With one deep breath, Sherry brought her head down on the pillow and then rolled off the bed to get ready for the day.

…

Sherry and Amber moved into the same house that Dwight and Mark lived in. Mark and Amber didn't share a room because they were taking a break from themselves for the time being. Sherry had her own room as well and told Dwight that she needed some time before she took that big step. They shared a house mainly because the dangers within Sanctuary still lingered. Sherry and Amber no longer trusted living in a house all by themselves when multiple men still tried to break in and take advantage of them. Luckily, they were able to arm themselves unlike before and had to shoot at trespassers at least once a month. Dwight also preferred them not dealing with being attacked on a regular basis.

They all had their separate bedrooms on the second floor while the main floor was used to store supplies for everyone in the community. The basement was used as a mini home for Valerie's little family that consisted of her and her two daughters, Lorraine and Lydia.

There was some awkwardness between Sherry and Valerie when they both moved under one roof. Sherry knew it a right choice to tell Valerie that she killed her husband, Ryan. Upon hearing Sherry's confession, Valerie told her that before he died, he confided to his wife about the small amount of empty promises that Negan was giving as she then begged him not to go through with it. However, he ignored Valerie's wishes and left Sanctuary to ambush Sherry those many months ago. Valerie understood that he was turning his back on the right path and didn't hold Sherry responsible for his passing. Surprised by Valerie's eagerness to forgive, she still felt bad knowing that she made someone a widow and also two children fatherless.

As she walked down the steps, she could hear Lorraine and Lydia giggling in the kitchen as Amber and Valerie made them breakfast. The day continued to get brighter and brighter from Sherry's perspective. Everyone seemed to welcome the sunlight with open arms as the air also seemed slightly warmer. They still had more winter months to go but they all enjoyed pockets of sun to break the monotony and equal isolation that the cold weather provided.

Sherry turned the corner into the living room to see Dwight sitting at the desk while writing several notes and glancing towards another paper for reference. He saw movement from his peripherals and immediately brought his head up to see Sherry walking his direction. He then smirked at her and leaned back on his seat then brought his feet up to rest on the wooden surface of the desk. "Good morning, little darling."

"So cheesy, it hurts," Sherry commented but grinned regardless as he sometimes had that effect on her. She then held up the note that he had given her that morning and raised one eyebrow. "What is this?"

"An invitation," Dwight replied and walked around his desk to stand in front of her while he reached for the back of her arms carefully and drew her closer towards him. "Supply run. Me and you. We'll be gone for a couple of days so I hope you don't have anything major planned."

"I have a couple of _minor_ things but…" Sherry began as she contemplated what Dwight offered. She hardly ever turned down an opportunity to get outside of Sanctuary so his sell was enticing enough on its own. Going outside of their community walls was still dangerous and walkers weren't the only ones that they had to look after. They knew more or less the exact location of the exiled Saviors campground and knew it was further north of the roads that they scavenged or cleared for any kind of transport that they had to deliver among the four large communities. She wasn't afraid to leave and more often welcomed it. "When our supply run is done, can we make a quick trip towards Hilltop to see Noelle?"

"Anything you want," Dwight said and leaned down to give her a light peck on the lips. "Get your stuff ready and we'll leave as soon as we can, okay?"

"Sounds good," Sherry agreed and walked slowly out of the room. She then turned back to watch Dwight find his spot back behind the desk while she admired his tall and toned build. He wore darker jeans with a simple gray short sleeved shirt. It wasn't anything much different than what he usually wore but for some reason, it kindled something within Sherry. She chalked it up to the cheerful mood that she was in. He glanced up as a thrill surged through her knowing that she was caught checking him out. His lips curled while she took her leave to prepare for their departure. Her face felt warm with slight embarrassment and a bit of another familiar feeling but she quickly shook it away before it got the better of her. She did recognize the feeling as progress though.

…

Sherry got her large backpack and started walking out the front door to prepare for her and Dwight's trip. As she left the front door, she stopped and stood on the porch to see the house that was across the street. It was the new family that moved into the Stapleton's old home. The family consisted of three children.

When they arrived at Sanctuary's front door, they were cold, tired, and grieving the loss of their youngest child who the father still held in his arms in complete shock. The sight made Sherry's heart ache as their youngest had to be less than a year old. The family let her know that their son died the same morning just a few hours before they saw Sanctuary. Walking into the gates of Sanctuary was bittersweet. They were so close to finding a safe haven but not close enough.

The doctor observed the child's body and rightfully presumed the child was malnourished but the cause of death was the cold weather from the night before. Their other children were being observed in the hospital and on fluids as they were also clinging on for dear life.

Sherry watched from the porch as the husband and wife buried their youngest in the ground. The day was unusually warm which helped the dirt be less frozen. Regardless of the mild heat wave, the sight still sent a chill within Sherry as she hoped other families would find safe places to live.

Sanctuary still wasn't the safest and they were still teetering on the idea of whether or not they should abandon the place altogether. Dwight saw the benefits of leaving like she did but he had a stubborn streak to see the place become better than it had ever been before. She admired his persistence but didn't want the place to exhaust him if it wasn't cooperating with his aspirations for the long haul.

"You ready to go?" Dwight asked behind her. His voice had some reverence to it as he too saw the scene that Sherry was staring towards but also sounded urgent so she didn't have to watch the tragic moment anymore.

"Sure," Sherry responded as they both stepped side by side off the porch and towards the mill where they kept all wagons, sleighs, and horses for travel. They wanted to transport a lot of things with them so they chose to bring a truck. As it was one of the final years that they could use diesel fuel, they were going to definitely take advantage of the time that they had to travel fast and not worry about parking horses in a safe place as they scavenged the insides of stores.

"Looking for anything in particular?" Sherry inquired.

Dwight shook his head. "No, we're as stalked up as we can be with food thanks to the Kingdom and Hilltop. Same with bullets. This trip is more for whatever we can use in trading with others. Just what we can find."

"That actually sounds like a lot of fun," Sherry said with a smile. Dwight appreciated her upbeat attitude in regards to their short trip and reached for her hand as their fingers interlaced one with another.

…

They both laid out a course for places within their community limits but decided to venture towards areas that weren't cleared by their people so they could try and find some stores that haven't previously been touched. On the way to the stores, they would search through several homes to see if there was anything of value before moving on.

Arriving at the first home that was on the way to the supercenters, Dwight and Sherry walked up to it and heard something already pressing up against one of the windows. Knowing it was just a biter that must have noticed them headings its way, Sherry continued to walk towards the house. "How many do you think are in there?"

Dwight loaded his crossbow and brought it up to aim at the front door. "I'm guessing it's just the one," he presumed. "Other walkers would've come beside that guy to see what all the fuss is about."

Sherry checked the door to see if it was locked or not. Not to her surprise, it was already unlocked which meant it was scavenged of food or bullets previously. Luckily, they weren't looking for things that most supply runners were hurriedly grabbing for. She then banged on the door loudly to get the walker's attention then stepped back to stand beside Dwight as they both waited for the undead to answer their call. She watched around them for any signs of danger besides the walker that they were going to face while Dwight stood tall with his weapon still directed towards the door.

Shuffling noises were heard inside the house as the walker meandered its way to the front door. Once it finally came into view, it only took Dwight seconds to aim at the rotting corpse's brain and take his shot. The walker started growling as the bolt flew in mid air towards its target. With ease, it pierced the dead's eye hole as it fell down face forward with an inhuman splat noise. Sherry scrunched up her nose at the sound but simply walked around the body that was now finally at peace. Stepping over its feet, she made it to the doorway the same time that another walker emerged from the home. Knife already drawn, she leaned back with an arm extended to hold the walker at bay and stabbed the walker from it's ear. No longer putting up a fight, Sherry let it fall to the ground as it landed on top of the walker that Dwight killed seconds before.

"Still got it," Sherry said and feigned a smug grin as she walked into the house.

Dwight followed behind her clearly impressed with her walker kill. "I would say as much but I don't want it to go to your head or anything."

Sherry made a face and stuck her tongue out at him then focused on her surroundings within the home. "What are you thinking they have in here?"

"Blankets, clothes, if it's still in a package that's preferable," Dwight responded while trailing behind her. He stopped to load his crossbow again. When he glanced back up towards Sherry, she was already looking at him with a fond expression. She turned around the same time that he knelt down to line up another bolt. Still watching her, he was drawn to the light curves that she had with her small and delicate figure. She was a surprising person to Dwight. Even when he first met her, she packed more spunk than those twice her size. It was one of the thousands of things that he found attractive about her.

Intelligent as she was equally stunning, Sherry was someone completely out of his league. As he watched her search the house, he noticed how her dark hair - that was up in a bun - complimented the complexion of her olive skin tone. Her brown eyes studied the area around her as she bit the inside of her lip like she always did when she was thinking.

His mind then traveled to thoughts that some considered ungentlemanly as he shook his head in response. _Nope,_ Dwight thought to himself, _Sherry needs space. You have both talked about it before. Don't torture yourself, Dwight._

It had been more than a month since Dwight first spoke with Father Gabriel about some misgivings that he had about his future. After that impromptu discussion they had after the Carson's special day, Dwight made it a point to ask Father Gabriel certain questions that he had with the beliefs set down in doctrine. It wasn't that he found God yet but he could safely say that he was searching for some closure and redemption from the life he tried to escape.

There was also the people in his new life that he wanted to benefit and not hinder furthermore. He didn't expect to take his role as Godfather that seriously but he wanted to be another example for Noelle of how to be a good person regardless of the world they resided in.

Sherry was a big reason why he wanted to change. He wanted to always be the person that she turned to for everything and anything. She made an effort to support him in all his duties whether she agreed with him or not. They depended on each other.

"Do you have this album?" Sherry asked, pulling him out of his thoughts while holding up a Rod Stewart vinyl for Dwight to see. She knelt in the living room while thumbing through what they had in their cabinets.

"I think the correct question would be if I _want_ that album," Dwight teased as she rolled her eyes. "No, I think I'm good on that one."

…

It was around noon that they made it to the store. Using a stick, Sherry hit it against the metal beams in the front of the store as they waited. For large stores, they waited the minimum of ten minutes for any sign of life. Dwight and Sherry talked about trivial things in a whisper more so they could still hear their surroundings while they stood at the ready.

Nothing appeared. They usually anticipated around ten walkers for every supercenter that they looted but no sound was made within the darkness. Something appeared fishy to Dwight as he could read the hesitation on Sherry's face as well. Nevertheless, they both walked into the store and both grabbed carts to put stuff in.

"Whatever stands out, bring it with us," Dwight suggested lightly. "People are finding things to splurge on now. We're in a position to use less practical shit."

Sherry and Dwight first walked down a clearance aisle as Sherry spotted a pasta maker and placed it in the cart. "Someone will find this useful, right?"

"I assumed you were packing that for yourself," Dwight teased.

"No, I actually know how to make my own pasta," Sherry explained with a smile. "My aunt taught us way back when."

"Us?" Dwight inquired.

"Me and the thousands of cousins I had in the Chicago area," Sherry revealed with the number being an over exaggeration. "We used to get together all the time and do stuff like that as a famiglia."

"Famiglia," Dwight repeated while testing the word on his tongue as grabbed a bunch of toilet paper from one shelf. "We'll have to make a couple of trips to the loading truck after this."

They continued to shop while getting further into the store. Weaving in and out of the aisles, they came across baby clothes that were still on display. Reserved for the most part, Sherry didn't see a speck of blood on the clothes and thought they would just need a good washing before they were given to young children throughout all the communities.

"We should bring a couple of these back with us," Sherry stated. She looked around the space and then walked across the aisle towards some plastic bins that were stacked on top of one another. She rolled some out as Dwight assisted then started putting baby clothes inside the bins.

"Is that what our supply run is going to consist of this week?" Dwight asked.

Sherry nodded. "I think so. All of our people seem to be fine on everything else, right? If we have all of these baby clothes, blankets, and other things in our supply buildings, we don't have to worry about babies being cold during the nights."

"That one family make you think of that?" Dwight inquired as Sherry took his place from retrieving clothes and just passed the clothes that she wanted to bring to him so he could place them in the bins.

"Yes," Sherry responded sadly. "I just couldn't imagine. You get so close to finding a safe haven and your baby freezes to death. That's heartbreaking. We could even place some of these in homes surrounding Sanctuary. With a letter saying that they are close? What do you think?"

"I think that's a great idea," Dwight answered. Sherry nodded and he knew her mind was already made up as she continued to load whatever clothes she liked in the first bin. A thought entered his mind as he watched his beloved gaze at a couple of newborn clothes before grabbing them and putting them in for future trading. There was a sense of longing there that Dwight could see. He had an idea where it derived from and hoped Sherry would talk to him about it.

"Have you ever felt sad that you aren't going to have kids?" Dwight asked. Sherry glanced toward him to try and read what he was really trying to ask but saw that his question was as simple as that. "I'm just curious."

"Well," Sherry started as she handed him more clothes. "The doctor told me that the chances of me having children are one out of a hundred. The same as someone on birth control. Technically, there is that very small window of opportunity but… Mind if I get blunt for a second?"

"Please do," Dwight responded.

"I had unsafe sex with Negan for two years and… nothing happened," Sherry concluded with a shrug. "Not really holding out much hope for the future, ya know? I mean, why would I do that to myself? To answer your question though… In the world that we live in, I'm kind of glad that I don't have to worry about it. When the doctor first told me, I was sad but now I don't really mind. Noelle fills the void in a lot of ways." Sherry then gazed over to him. "What about you?"

Dwight grinned wide. "You know how I feel about it. Kids are great but you were right with what you said about Noelle. Teegan, Troy, and Judith can be included in that too. I'm completely satisfied with it being just the two of us. Never worry about that."

"Just thought I would ask," Sherry replied. "Don't want you to be disappointed in something that I can't control."

"I'm not a douchebag, I promise," Dwight joked as Sherry smiled and went back to her work.

"I know that stuff is kind of important though," Sherry defended. "People want to have children to carry their name into the future. But having children is also a loving thing to do. It's a big thing to miss out on."

"And I already made my choice to miss out on it," Dwight answered. "That's one of the easiest choices I have ever made."

Sherry smiled softly at his statement then walked into the area where blankets were kept. They continued to talk about other things such as music, Noelle, Sanctuary, and Alexandria while their carts, bins, and dollies got full. Making trips to the truck, they loaded cribs, car seats, baby shampoo, and other useful items for young babies. They also grabbed large comforters still in plastic wrappings, towels, bathroom items, and many laundry baskets as starter kits for new families. For the most part, the shopping center hadn't been weather torn or infested with critters. Dwight & Sherry thought to keep it that way and taped the front door with cardboard to keep most things out of it in case they needed to raid more items from the good find they had. Searching for baby items proved to be a fruitful find.

…

By the time they loaded everything from the store, the sun already began to set with colder weather starting to set in. Several snowflakes began to fall as Dwight groaned from the sight while Sherry could feel the temperature quickly fall. The trip back to Sanctuary meant potential icy roads. Even the clouds gave Sherry some misgivings as that meant potential danger with an oncoming blizzard.

They didn't drive more than five minutes when the wind picked up unforgivingly. Roads were treacherous as the snow melted from the warmer day began to ice over quickly. Dwight didn't feel good about driving while Sherry equally didn't feel good about being a passenger. Driving to the house that they raided before, they parked the large truck in the driveway, got some items from their day's scavenging and decided to stay for the night versus attempting to make it back to Sanctuary.

Preparing their night, they covered the basics first. Sherry covered windows with dusty sheets that were on one of the beds while Dwight strung cans to every entryway as an alarm.

Once they thought their presence was discreet enough, Dwight tried the fireplace as Sherry got some sleeping arrangements done. She removed all the old, dusty sheets from two mattresses, and replaced them with newer ones from the store. Still in its packaging, they hadn't been moth eaten and still smelled fresh. But while getting the mattresses ready, the wind howled against the windows as a chill settled over her. It was going to be a very cold night.

…

Dwight successfully got the fire going from the fireplace but looked towards Sherry as she struggled to bring a twin size mattress within the living room.

"Those for anything in particular?" Dwight inquired as she sat it on the floor directly in front of the fireplace.

"Cold night," Sherry answered. "Figured we could bunk in front of something warm. The other rooms are way too chilly to sleep comfortably in."

Sherry started to get up to bring his mattress into the room but he grabbed her hand and shook his head. "I'll get it. You relax."

When he returned to the living room with his own twin size mattress, she was no longer sitting in front of the fire like he left her. As he plopped his mattress beside hers, she emerged from the kitchen with a photo in hand and sat on her own sleeping area once more. Seeing that Dwight was staring at her, she held the photo up and shrugged. "I saw it on the fridge."

Dwight began taking his shoes off then while continuing to gaze at Sherry. "What's this picture?" He asked. It wasn't unusual for her to set her eyes on photos within random homes.

"A mom...a young mom and her two boys," Sherry said and handed him the picture. He saw what she briefly described and saw all three family members smiling towards the camera with matching gray shirts and appeared to be on a small train like the ones at amusement parks or zoos.

"Make up a scenario for them yet?" Dwight questioned. It was a game that they played often.

"They are alive," Sherry revealed confidently. "The two boys learned martial arts skills. Want to add on?"

"Um...the mom's weapon of choice are crochet hooks…" Dwight offered. "And she places them in between each finger like Wolverine claws."

Sherry let out a small laugh as Dwight shrugged to defend his answer. "Katana sword and baseball bat were taken. I'm drawing low on clever weapon choices here, okay?"

"Fair point," Sherry responded. She settled on her mattress as Dwight reached into his bag just above his pillow and began searching through its contents.

Without looking inside his pack, his voice drew recognition upon feeling a thin metal flask and produced it out of his pack. Sherry saw it immediately and rolled her eyes as a way to react.

"May I ask where you got that?" Sherry asked.

"Found it in one of the homes that we raided," Dwight conveyed with honesty and reached into his pack again. With a smile, he pulled another flask from his bag and handed it toward Sherry. "Want some?"

Sherry reluctantly reached towards it and twisted the top to sniff whatever was inside. When she brought it up to her nose, she immediately regretted the decision as her face scrunched up in revulsion.

Dwight laughed at her reaction as he sat up on his mattress. "Strong?"

"Even that word would be an understatement," Sherry proclaimed. "It does not smell that great. Doesn't even smell like it should be legal. Like a vodka mixed with another alcohol."

Dwight started opening his bottle and raised his eyebrows at Sherry. "Lucky for us, laws about alcohol consumption don't matter anymore," he reminded and looked to her mischievously.

Sherry eyed her flask in hand with skepticism. "Do you think that's a good idea?" She questioned and looked up to him warily.

"Well, what else are we going to do until morning?" Dwight asked and started lifting the bottle to his mouth.

Sherry quickly grabbed his forearm to bring the bottle away from his face. " _You_ are a recovering alcoholic," she stated as a matter-of-factly.

Dwight snorted with humor and pursed his lips. "Come on, I'm not an alcoholic," he blurted but then shrugged his shoulders in defense mode again. "I have been known to abuse it on stressful days but if you asked me to stop drinking cold turkey, I definitely could."

Sherry gave him a doubtful look. "Would you?" She asked.

"Sher, if you asked me to run around this house in my birthday suit, I would do it; snow and all," Dwight declared with a satisfied smile in her direction.

Sherry looked at the alcohol again and sighed. It had been awhile since she allowed herself to let loose and enjoy life. Above everything else, she trusted Dwight to be a gentleman even while under the influence if their booze fest happened to go that far.

"Fine. Let's play ' _I Never,'"_ Sherry suggested and raised her eyebrows at Dwight.

He stared back at her in disbelief for several seconds as if he didn't hear her correctly. "Really?" He asked in shock. "You really want to play that _and_ drink?"

A playful grin appeared on her face as she had to look away from him at the sudden giddiness she felt at the idea.

He huffed loudly and shook his head. "Sherilyn Anne Ciccone, I am surprised at your ungodly behavior," Dwight mocked as she giggled wickedly.

"Do you want to go first or should I?" She pressed and opened her flask again. The odor was strong as she closed it once more to avoid smelling it more than she had to.

"You go first. I need to think of a good one," Dwight replied as he fidgeted in his spot to get more comfortable.

Sherry looked out of the windshield to ponder what to say. "I never…was a part of a sorority or the male equivalent in college," she said and looked at him expectantly but he didn't budge.

"And here I thought you knew me so well," Dwight teased. "Nope. I was never a part of a fraternity. I thought the idea to be very immature and distracting from the actual college experience."

"Yeah, it was a bad first try for me," Sherry admitted and lifted the flask to her lips as she took a small swig. Immediately, she forced herself to gulp down the drink before she let out a cough. "Holy hell, that burns going down."

Dwight laughed with obvious delight that they were playing one of his favorite games. "I never…fell asleep while watching a movie in theaters," He recalled. Sherry's shoulder sank dejectedly while she took another drink as he laughed. "What movie was it?" He asked.

" _Quantum of Solace,"_ Sherry answered in shame. "I never really liked James Bond movies."

"I disagree but fair enough," Dwight replied. "Your turn."

Sherry made a face and tried to think of something that would stump him. "I never…surfed before?" She said hoping that he had done that at least once in his life.

Sure enough, Dwight took the bottle and finally drank his first sip of the night. He almost spat it out from the taste but let it settle instead. "That shit is stronger than it smells."

"That stuff is dangerous!" Sherry said with a grin but looked delighted in the game anyways.

"I never…" Dwight thought but it was difficult going back to a time that already seemed so long ago. "I never went skinny dipping before."

"I need to step up my game," Sherry muttered and took another sip. "I never played Dungeons and Dragons before."

"More than once I regret telling you that story," Dwight said with a small chuckle but drank from the flask. "This stuff has to almost be one hundred percent alcohol. I'm already feeling something."

"Same," Sherry agreed but said it with a grin. They both seemed to be enjoying their activity well.

"I never really knew my cousins that well," Dwight revealed.

Sherry drank but stared at him like the idea was foreign to her. "But you had cousins, right?"

"Probably not as many as you but I had a few," Dwight replied. "My mom was an only child so no cousins from her side. And my dad's siblings didn't talk to him or my Grandpa John while either of them were alive."

"Was there a reason why?" Sherry questioned.

"Some disagreement about my Grandpa John's farm," Dwight answered. "I don't know a lot of details but there was a lot of money involved if Grandpa sold his crops to a potato chip factory. He said no." Dwight scoffed upon remembering something. "The last time I saw my cousins was at my parents' funeral. My aunt and uncle were trying to ask my brother how much money they received from the will. Which was a low move. My family wasn't well off anyways and both of my parents worked to pay the bills. John basically told them to go fuck themselves. I never saw him so angry before. He didn't even let them approach me and asked the funeral usher to escort them away."

Dwight took a large portion from his flask even though it wasn't part of the game; he just needed a drink. "Your brother protected you," Sherry spoke softly.

"He always had my back," Dwight agreed and stared into the fire. "I honestly didn't know if I could make it in this world without him. And I always wonder what life would have been like if he was still alive right now."

"Do you think it would have changed some scenarios for us?" Sherry pondered, willing to daydream about it with him.

"I would like to think his presence would have changed everything for the better," Dwight responded.

They both took another large swig before moving on. "I would have been in Michigan if I stayed close to my parents," Sherry disclosed. "I don't even know if they made it there from Chicago but I like to think that they did. I dreamt of all my family members living in Michigan. Everything was calm there. Not like here."

"Do you ever regret leaving Chicago to live in Georgia?" Dwight thought to ask even if her answer would probably hurt him. He took a drink just in case.

"In some cases, yeah," Sherry said. "There's obviously some things I wish I didn't go through. But...I wouldn't have met you."

Dwight considered what she said while Sherry looked towards him. She took two more drinks as some tears began to form. "You okay?" He asked quietly and placed a hand on her knee.

"Yeah, it's just…" Sherry started as she wiped at her eyes. "You just think about how much time has passed and how much that has happened. It's overwhelming sometimes."

"It will be four years in April," Dwight shook his head in disbelief. His fingers grazed her thigh but he tried to keep his mind on her and not where they were. Alcohol was only making it more difficult. Nevertheless, he drank more. And so did Sherry with their drinking game long forgotten as they silently decided to go down another path where the conversation led them.

…

Sherry was feeling sufficiently buzzed as the room would not stay still and her thoughts could only delve so far. Multitasking was out of the question. Just the small amount that she had was enough to make her world feel dizzying and surreal.

"I'm…" Dwight started to say but lost track of his train of thought. His hand still rested on her far knee as he laid down propped on one elbow. No longer remembering what he was going to address, he locked eyes with her as they quietly did nothing. They did nothing but Sherry could feel the atmosphere change as the air felt heavy to her. His fingers traveled up her thigh but wavered when Sherry saw some doubt flicker in his eyes.

Just then, a thought entered her head that Sherry hadn't entertained in a very long time. It was a feeling that didn't overcome her for almost a year but as she looked to Dwight with his dark eyes lingering at parts of her body, she couldn't think of anything else.

"I think we should…" Dwight started but was soon interrupted by Sherry leaned in to kiss him passionately on the lips. Had he started the phrase with an invitation or to tuck her to bed, she didn't know. All she knew was that the alcohol was having a strong effect on her. In the moment of letting loose, she couldn't care less about the worries that plagued her conscious mind.

She placed her hands on the back of his head and ran her fingers through his dark brown hair while soaking in everything about him. The smell of his clothes that consisted of cigarette smoke, the outdoors, and a hint of the body wash that he used which smelled almost minty.

Dwight blinked several times as he wondered what was going on but with the alcohol in his system, he could only reciprocate her gesture without considering anything else.

Like a magnet, he closed the gap between them and got on top of her. Sherry tugged at his shirt and started lifting it over his head. His face left hers for the small moment to remove the item of clothing as she looked down to admire his fairly toned chest and arms. He grabbed her by the hips which made his arms flex slightly and kissed her again to commence the passion that had already been built up.

Just as he thought to do the same with her clothes, an alarm went off in his mind. It was faint and was fading away fast but he needed to listen to it while it was still around to adhere. They were both drunk and highly intoxicated. If Sherry were sober, she wouldn't like him touching her the way that he wanted to. Or would she? Dwight was becoming confused as she was the one who instigated the whole thing. However, he knew Sherry.

"We shouldn't…" Dwight tried to urge but was losing his self-will while Sherry's kiss deepened. It was something that he wanted badly. All he wanted was to be with her. It seemed like she was feeling the same at the moment.

"I want to," Sherry assured. The voice of reason was leaving fast as the alcohol consumed his thought process. Sherry _said_ she wanted to. _She wants it; you want it. Just fucking do it,_ he thought to himself.

"Are you sure?" Dwight thought to ask as he carefully put his hands underneath her shirt to feel the warmth of her bare skin before he even knew what he was doing.

Sherry gazed up to look him straight in the eyes so he could understand her meaningful intent. She nodded vigorously then grabbed her shirt and pulled it off while lifting her chin and back up to bring over her head. It fell to the floor as Dwight stared dumbfounded and almost confused. Arousal was far surpassing the rest of his thoughts while he glanced toward Sherry's chest that was covered by only one article of clothing; a bra.

He still held her waist as Sherry could see his mind trying to weigh the pro's and con's before him. Unable to analyze her own thoughts because of the alcohol, she went to proceed with the removal of her bra. As if Dwight made up his mind, he stopped Sherry but reached behind her for the bra clasp himself.

As he took her bra off, they continued to kiss while her hands reached behind Dwight and wandered all over him. His tongue explored the inside of her mouth as he wrapped his arms around her naked back and lifted her up so she sat on his lap. Sherry wrapped her legs around him albeit somewhat sloppy of an effort due to their mutual drunkenness.

Sherry began to feel the familiar tingle as the passion from the kiss lingered on their tongues. She could feel Dwight's hold on her was strong and she felt protected within his grasp. They stayed like that for a long period then proceeded to take the rest of their clothes off without even caring about what was right or wrong.

He fell on top of her while she laid on her mattress once more. Kissing her warm skin on her stomach and making his way up to her face, he spent an ample amount of time in between as she reacted favorably to his actions. Dwight grabbed Sherry's leg and swung it over his shoulder then brought his hand down to maneuver his way inside of her as she took a sharp breath upon the sweet sensation that they mutually felt.

Rocking steadily into her, he started breaking out in a sweat. Sherry tried to keep her enjoyment muffled while still consciously aware that they were away from the safe walls of their communities and then placed a hand over her mouth. Dwight started kissing her neck and then went faster while being more turned on with the way Sherry was responding to him.

Several minutes passed as Dwight persisted. Unable to contain herself anymore, Sherry started breathing heavily and reached for Dwight's face to kiss him even more. Dwight's lips kissed every surface of her face as his fingers dug into the mattress beneath them. As Sherry's pants progressed into more pleasurable noises, Dwight was finding it difficult to continue while it was sending him over the edge. It had been a very long time since he experienced a moment like the one he was having with Sherry. It had been a long time coming.

He started to groan while his body slowly began to relax once more. With one final thrust, Dwight then rested his head on Sherry's shoulder as she held the back of his head while running her fingers through his wavy to curly hair. For the first time in over two years, they finally did it. The overwhelming that came with what they just did could be felt between them as their hearts beat against each other while they breathed one another in.

"I love you," Sherry whispered in his ear.

He gave her a soft kiss on the shoulder and rolled over to be beside her. "I love you too," he echoed her sentiment. And just like that, in their intoxicated state, they fell asleep effortlessly.

…

Sherry had wondered if the previous night had been a dream. She felt like she had been asleep for weeks and that her head was going to burst from a moonshine-induced migraine. While trying to connect what happened, she felt an arm that was slung over her naked chest as it twitched slightly from her stirring out of sleep.

Opening one eye, she turned her head to see Dwight resting peacefully beside her while they were both covered by a thin burgundy sheet. She closed her eyes and could only think of the hangover that she was experiencing. However, a grin escaped her lips while remembering bits and pieces of the night before. She slept with Dwight. They were both drunk which could have been considered not that much progress but she still felt some freedom because of it. She hoped next time that she wouldn't have to drink alcohol to feel the need to be with him again. Regardless, the parts that she remembered were the better moments of her last two years. _Hell, that was probably the best thing that happened since the new world even began,_ Sherry thought to herself.

She knew the feeling of contentment wasn't going to last. Her past always had a way of catching up to her. Knowing it would pass without a moment's notice, she snuggled in closer to Dwight as he woke up enough from his sleep to wrap his arms around her before falling back into his slumber. They faced each other on the bed as Sherry lightly traced up and down his back with her fingernails.

"Morning," Dwight muttered into the pillow.

Sherry buried her face into his chest and smiled. "Morning," she replied.

Dwight then lifted up his head slightly and stared down at Sherry as if she was a mirage. Sherry knew what was going on his mind and simply nodded. "Yeah, it really happened," she clarified.

Looking very disappointed in himself, he groaned and put his head down on the pillow. "Sher, I was so drunk last night. If I did anything that scared you…"

"You didn't," Sherry whispered. "I'm still on a high right now with my mood. Don't ruin it for me."

Dwight smirked at her response and held her tightly. The fact that she had to get herself drunk to get in the mood was somewhat troubling to him but he had a feeling that she already was aware of it. Dwight held her close and hoped that she really knew how much he loved her. He wanted to do right by her in more ways than one. Although hazy, he remembered parts of their night together and was glad that it happened. Maybe it was because of his own selfish reasons; but he was happy regardless.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, & FACTS -**

 **#1 -** _ **Here Comes the Sun**_ **by The Beatles. This is obviously one of their more well known songs. If you haven't already gathered, I am still riding that Beatlemania that they spoke of in the '60's. Dwight & Sherry are written to be in the same boat as me LOL. If you can remember, this is kind of a throwback to book 1 (Many Hearts to Tread) when they are sitting in the car after leaving the mansion. They were both more positive back then. But I guess this is to signify that they still have a part of their old selves in there deep down. #DwightAndSherryForever!**

 **#2 - If you are a Daryl/Beth shipper, you may fondly remember their** _ **I Never**_ **game. Regardless if it turned into a heated argument, they both got some emotions out and...God, I loved Bethyl and I miss them so! This is also a scene reminiscent of ANOTHER show that I grew up watching. LOST! If you watched that show then you would remember Sawyer & Kate playing a game of **_**I Never.**_

 **#3 - Pasta Maker lady...What's her face... She could have been more patient!**

 **#4 - Dwight & Sherry did the deed for the second time! Small victories, my friends, small victories!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 _February 26, 2014_

Mark and Miguel roamed around the perimeter of Sanctuary while their eyes kept watch beyond the gate. Nearing warmer weather, the wooded area beside their community was full of life. Deer frequented the area as well as other animals that adapted to their hazardous world. However, as the sun set, nothing - not even a twig or a leaf - moved. Everything fell silent save for the work that happened within their protected walls.

"Creepy shit, isn't it?" Miguel commented slowly. "Do you even remember the last time that you saw a herd pass by here?"

"It's been awhile," Mark disclosed and stared towards the wall. Most of their walkers that they used as camouflage on the fence were destroyed by exiled Saviors or burned when the Alexandrian's attacked a long time ago. As barbaric as it was, the walkers proved to be their protectors in the past. The scent of human life was covered for a time. Save for the last couple of months, herds became more of an issue for their struggling community.

"When was the last time you saw a single walker?" Mark questioned.

"It's been a few days," Miguel answered. They stood quietly while listening to nothing. "Not even a sound of a bird or an animal moving around out there. That's a very bad sign."

Mark stared at the forest with vigilance. The wind was also absent which added to the frightening inactivity. He almost hoped that the latest winter completely wiped out walkers in their area. But Miguel was onto something. Something was coming their way and nature was giving them the clues before it happened.

Darkness slowly glided overhead as the sun hid beyond the horizon. If they were fighting an inevitable force that night, they needed to warn the other communities once the first sign of trouble arose.

All they had to do was wait.

…

Dwight's shift started at three in the morning but he had already worked all of the day before with fixing some of the fences and their weak points. Beyond tired, he laid on his bed with just a shirt and boxers while he tried to get as much rest as he could before he had to wake up for another lengthy day running Sanctuary.

Every so often, Sherry would have a great day and would tell him so. On those days, she welcomed affection more so than other moments where she just preferred to be left alone. Dwight never pressed and only waited for when she felt up to being close to another person.

He laid on his stomach while nestling in the crook of Sherry's neck and shoulder as she rested her head on top of his and faced him. Dwight could deduce that she was already asleep from her steady breathing but didn't want to check in case it woke her up. He just slept beside her while appreciating the time that she allowed him to have with her.

Just as his eyes started to close, the red light from his alarm clock quickly dimmed at the same time that the hallway light turned completely off. Dwight didn't move as he let himself adjust to the pitch black of the night. He could hear both Lydia and Lorraine crying from the basement as they were both presumably afraid of the sudden darkness. Sitting up and looking out the window, he didn't see a single light throughout their community. The power was gone.

As if Sherry could feel his uneasiness even while she slept, her body shot up from the bed and quickly looked to Dwight. "What's wrong?" Her voice wasn't even groggy and she seemed prepared to take whatever action if necessary.

"The power isn't working," Dwight answered calmly. There wasn't a need to panic yet and he didn't want to scare her.

"The dam is down?" Sherry asked wondering about their source of electricity.

"Seems like it," Dwight replied but got up and tried to find his pants in the darkness. "This hasn't ever happened before. I don't know. Something feels off to me."

Sherry quickly rolled off the bed on full alert with what he said and changed out of her grunge clothes to jeans and a dark green oversized jacket. "Do you think it's happening?" She asked.

"They haven't attacked us in a long time," Dwight said hurriedly while putting his pants on followed with his belt. "It's been too quiet and suddenly _this_ shit happens? It's not a coincidence. They are coming tonight." He stared at Sherry as she reached into the nightstand and grabbed both a flashlight and a pistol that he kept for safekeeping. An aching feeling erupted in his soul when seeing that she was prepared to take care of the problem just as he was. He loved that about her but equally didn't want her to be in harm's way. "Is there any way that I can convince you to stay here with Valerie's family?"

Acknowledging Dwight's worry for her, she looked to him with assurance. "I won't be out long. Someone has to defend the supplies and our people," Sherry said. "First things first, I need to get all the elderly, sick, and the children in this house before everything goes down."

She was confident in what she had to do as Dwight supported her need to lead. People depended on them to make plans and keep them alive. They were going to do just that. "Be fast," Dwight instructed intensely. "Get as many people but if things start to go south, you run to this house. I mean it. Leave the others to fend for themselves in their own homes. Just help the ones _here_. They'll need you."

Sherry nodded as they both walked down the stairs. Dwight picked up his crossbow that sat beside the front door while Sherry unlocked the door with the multiple padlocks that they had for security purposes. "Amber!" She yelled.

They heard Amber's footsteps at the top of the stairs and saw her peering down with her arms folded. Appearing slightly nervous, her voice sounded fearful by the way Dwight and Sherry stood on edge. "What's happening out there?"

"Amber, I need you to guard this door from the porch until we get back. Let some families inside, guide them downstairs, and tell them to be quiet," Sherry instructed gently. Amber didn't wait to hear more orders and started to get ready as Sherry seemed pleased with her friend's hasty reaction to the stressful demands.

Dwight glanced down at Sherry as she looked up to him in question. "How do we let the other communities know?" She asked in a hushed whisper with an underlying fear of the unknown.

"I'll figure that out," Dwight assured with the same tone. "Just be prepared that we might be the only ones fighting tonight."

Dwight watched as the reality sank in for Sherry. They didn't know what the exiled Saviors had planned or _if_ they were even going to attack. However, Dwight had a gut feeling inside that it was going to be a long and eventful night. The possibility of Sanctuary surviving by morning seemed unlikely; at least, that was what his instinct told him.

"Please be careful out there," Sherry whispered knowing a wrong move could result in anyone's death. "Please don't let this be the last time I see you."

"It won't be," Dwight answered confidently. "And right back at ya."

They nodded one more time and opened the door as they both went their separate ways to accomplish what needed to be done.

…

"Get a crew to the dam right now!" Mark barked to the few men that were listening. Many of their crew were home for the night when the power went out as they came from their houses to stand ready just in case. Miguel watched as they all started to form a circle to await instruction from him and Mark. With Dwight not being around for the time being to give proper demands, Mark seemed to be in panic mode while immediately shouting out orders. "This is an emergency fix!"

"What the fuck, Mark?" Miguel piped up as he grabbed Mark's arm and walked away from the growing crowd. Miguel glanced behind him at all the men that prepared for their leave but they would often stare skeptically towards the gates in question. "We don't know what's beyond our walls."

"Sending people out to fix the dam is the same as sending others to investigate," Mark responded. "This is just killing two birds with one stone."

"And you think they would live to tell us what they saw out there?" Miguel criticized. Mark was a good guy but a tactical war strategist was not a strength he owned. "We will _not_ order people to leave. And I will remind you that all of these soldiers work for someone else."

"He's not here and would want us to step up," Mark argued, "We don't even _know_ if anyone is out there."

People began to slowly load a nearby truck with tools to repair the dam as Dwight stepped onto the scene. Their leader stared in consternation and started to shake his head in protest. Miguel watched Mark gulp in response while gritting his teeth. In his opinion, Mark was far too stupid to be a double agent - at least, to act completely on his own accord as he already once aided Dwight previously with Negan's chaotic rule. He hoped it was his eagerness to please instead of something far more serious such as treason.

…

Dwight watched as people began to pack tools and other supplies nearby the torn apart mill. Immediately he shook his head and looked to Mark and Miguel. "No! No one is going out right now! Those gates aren't opening for anyone inside or out of Sanctuary!"

As he approached the two, Miguel muttered something similar to an 'I told you' for Mark's eyes only then stood ready for whatever Dwight requested.

"So we're just supposed to be left in the dark?" Mark questioned as his voice rose to a higher pitch. "Dwight, _if_ there is something out there…"

"Then it might be better that they can't see us either," Dwight responded as a matter-of-factly but then brought his hands to his mouth to amplify his voice to the other men. "Get the generator! Let's get it connected to our radio so we can alert the others!"

"We don't know if anyone is out there," Mark complained. Dwight saw Miguel roll his eyes at Mark's comment. Fortunately for Dwight, he was used to working with Mark's constant murmuring.

Dwight gave him a look of warning as Mark pursed his lip and held his tongue from spouting more idiotic declarations. Once Dwight felt satisfied that Mark wouldn't press the issue anymore, he continued with resolve. "We know enough."

…

Peter lived in Sanctuary a little less than a month with his wife and two children. Their third and youngest baby died merely hours before they spotted the tall walls of their new home. It was grievous to know how close they were to a safe zone without their beloved son.

He knew the safe zone was far from perfect. Even as part of the introduction, the woman, Sherry - in charge alongside the leader named Dwight - presented a full disclosure of Sanctuary and its vicious upbringing as well as an invitation to join the other communities once Peter's children felt more nourished enough for travel. He and his wife appreciated Sherry's candor and chose to stay. They knew the community was run by honest people despite its colorful background.

There was a knock on the door just after Peter and his wife Natasha put their children to bed. They lost power to their home but didn't think anything of it until they heard shouts from outside as orders were made.

Natasha and Peter both answered the door to see Sherry standing on their porch, looking somewhat alarmed. Judging by the steady uproar in Sanctuary, he knew she wasn't just saying hello at random.

"I hate to bother you guys so late at night," Sherry started and didn't waste anytime. "We need to move your family to our main house right now. There is reason to believe that we are going to be attacked shortly and are taking the necessary precautions before it happens."

"Does this have anything to do with the power being out?" Peter questioned.

"We aren't one hundred percent sure," Sherry disclosed, "A message wasn't able to send out to the other communities. If something happens, we need volunteers to help us fight."

A chill settled within Peter as he looked to his wife. It was the first community that they were ever a part of. Never once had they been put in a position where they needed to defend their property aside from walkers.

He gulped with nervousness but nodded that he would assist in their fight. Sherry looked pleased with his answer and already started running towards the house next door to alert more families and bring them all to a safe place.

…

"Get some fuel over to me now!" Dwight shouted to anyone within hearing range and to no one in particular. Kneeling beside the generator, he became frustrated that it made no sign of roaring to life like it usually would. The generator was their one mode of communication with any other allegiances outside the gates. If they didn't contact Alexandria, Hilltop, or the Kingdom, they would have to fight alone.

It wasn't the exiled Saviors that Dwight grew cautious of. Many things caused him to work at a quick pace but as time passed, the eerie silence transformed into the quiet hum that was steadily drawing closer towards Sanctuary. The sound could be felt just as much as it was heard while the rhythm of shuffling feet made the ground beneath him restless. He hadn't exiled _that_ many Saviors and knew they were receiving help from someone else. Rather _something._

In response to the noise, Dwight tried to show the others the urgency that he felt. He wanted them to know what he already knew which was that Sanctuary could be experiencing its final hours.

Dwight could see that families were being ushered into his house as fathers or mothers said goodbye to their children or spouses to aid in the upcoming retaliation. Knowing that Sherry was hard at work to bring more innocent lives to a safe place, he was already mentally thinking that their home should be the stronghold of the night. With their ammunition and communications locked within the same walls, it was definitely a top priority to keep whatever was inside the house safe. Among their goods, elderly and children would need their protection.

Someone ran from the mill towards Dwight with a three gallon fuel tank and looked to his leader with worry. "This is our last tank of fuel," the young man expressed worriedly. "It's nearly full but our community is done with gasoline after this."

Disliking what the young man had to say, Dwight took the tank anyway and brought it to the gas valve within the generator to help bring it to life. The sounds of distant and deadly moans began to fill Dwight's ears as the people around him began to fidget in their spots. Dwight looked up to the window of his home to see Miguel look at him expectantly. When Dwight gave the signal, they would try to make contact with anyone who would listen.

The tank ran empty as Dwight began to turn on all the switches of the generator as it began to putter to life. Dwight then plugged the extension cord into their saving grace and gave Miguel the thumbs up. Immediately sounds of static could be heard through the living room window as Dwight saw Sherry step into the house while seeming satisfied that her work of getting innocent lives to a safe place was finished. Dwight again appreciated her ability to take charge but then looked to Mark who was standing next to him.

"Men to the front gates," Dwight ordered Mark. "We need men near this house to be our middle men and give us extra ammunition when we need it. Still believe the dam mishap is just a coincidence?"

"No," Mark mumbled. Dwight almost apologized for being so constantly brash with his comrade but sometimes needed to let Mark know that he worked a little too slow for his taste.

…

Upon instructing all civilians to get inside the house, Sherry took to the porch stairs two at a time when she heard the generator sound off. Hearing some ghastly noises from beyond the walls while bringing others to safety, the feelings that were going through her mind were beyond unnerving. They were not prepared, they were not matched with their foe, and they were already crippled with their electricity shut off.

Many times they faced an adversary with odds against them. Sherry knew luck would run out so they mainly had to focus on their cleverness to get out of tricky situations. Hoping she still had some plans that could withhold throughout the night, she stepped into the house and walked towards the makeshift office in the living room where Miguel was trying to find a signal.

"Shit," he muttered but then saw Sherry walk into the room as he drew a sigh of relief knowing the radio was one of her many areas of expertise. "I don't know how to get a signal out."

Sherry saw that almost every button had been switched to something else in a frenzy. "What the hell?" She whispered and started opening drawers in the desk to find a paper that had every notch signal written down to contact Alexandria as they were the most responsive. "Did you change these switches?" Sherry asked Miguel while pointing to the various dials.

"Nah, I only changed channels and volumes," Miguel assured.

"Who changed it then?" Sherry questioned to herself but then started to wonder why she was shouting everything that she said. Realizing it for the first time, the gentle hum of upcoming danger was no longer a faint white noise and rather sounded as if it was almost at Sanctuary's doorstep.

Taking her attention away from the desk for a small moment, she walked to the back of the house where some extra rooms had storage filled with their weapon supply. Sherry brought a chair with her and walked into the room. Resting the chair beside a tall bookcase, she stood on top of it and reached to the top shelf and grabbed what she was looking for. "Miguel!"

Miguel ran into the room and saw that Sherry was holding a flare gun. "Miguel, I need you to let Dwight know that we are getting a message out but it's taking longer than anticipated. Now if the other communities have their night shift workers out clearing the roads, maybe there are a few that can see a signal from here. If they see the flare, they'll know something is wrong."

"You sure that will work?" Miguel asked.

"Not a hundred percent sure," Sherry answered honestly, "but it's worth a shot."

…

The cries of the undead sounded in the darkness with its consistent groans that only increased as they drew closer to Sanctuary. The noise mounted with each passing minute as Dwight could see the fear in many eyes around him. With the fences recently repaired, a dread fell upon him that the many weeks of hard work would possibly be inconsequential once the night was over.

Dwight wasn't yet able to see how many numbers their enemy had. However, he had never heard such a loud percussion of inhuman groans. There were many things that the Exiled Saviors had a one-up on. They were knowledgeable on Sanctuary's numbers. They knew where to hurt them as their power had already been shut off and soon after went in for the kill while Dwight's people remained isolated from every other community. They knew way too much information from men that kept their true intentions hidden among Sanctuary.

As far as Dwight was concerned, the night was an uphill battle. Unsure if they would even survive the night, he thought of the last thing he said to Sherry and wondered if it were sufficient enough last words. Did he say that he loved her? Did he say some final thoughts that he wanted her to keep just so intentions were perfectly clear? If their lives were to end, did he fulfill his promise to make her life a good one? _Right back at ya,_ Dwight thought to himself and grimaced remembering those being potentially his last words to his significant other and surmised it wasn't sufficient enough to let her know how much she meant to him.

Interrupted from his thoughts, he heard the restlessness of the gravel road behind him. As he turned around to expect a friend, he instead saw a man storming towards him with knife in hand and nostrils flared in the darkness. The man, who Dwight remembered was named Phil, stared directly at Dwight with anger and finality. Already recognizing the premeditated glare from his own past wrongdoings, Dwight stalked towards the man intent on fighting him head on with the sole purpose of defeating him.

Phil raised his knife high above his head as Dwight punched him squarely in the jugular. In the split second that Phil hunched from the immediate lack of proper breathing, he tried lowering his knife on Dwight's back but was already briefly incapacitated enough for Dwight to attack once more. Now kneeing Phil twice - both in the groin and in the stomach - Dwight easily pried the knife from Phil's grip then quickly plunged the knife into the man's upper left side. Not understanding the full extent of what happened in the last ten seconds, Phil stared at Dwight with confusion and pain. Had Dwight not been in the game of war for almost four whole years, Phil would have won that round. However, Dwight had become far too cunning for someone to sneak up on him so easily.

A few men stood around Dwight as they watched Phil fall to the ground while no longer putting up a fight. Satisfied with letting Phil bleed out, Dwight gestured towards the dying man and nodded. "Be on the lookout for some of our people defecting tonight. They aren't holding back anymore and neither should you."

"Dwight!" Miguel shouted as he held an item in hand. When he got closer, Dwight could see the large barrel and deduced it was a flare gun. "Sherry is getting the radio fixed!"

"Fixed?!" Dwight asked as he saw his men bring cases of ammunition and set it behind concrete dividers that they would use as cover.

"Someone fucked up the dials on us," Miguel clarified as Mark joined them while loading his assault rifle. They both looked to Dwight and wondered what their next game plan was. They followed Dwight as he walked towards the gate to figure out how many walkers they were dealing with. However, without light, they had no way of seeing their enemies.

"The flare gun?" Mark questioned behind Dwight as he continued to stare at the fence while waiting for the attacks to begin.

"Sherry thought it would be a good idea just in case anyone was clearing roads nearby," Miguel shouted over the agonizing noise.

"Fuck, let's use it now!" Mark exclaimed as he tried to grab the flare from Miguel. Miguel instinctively moved his hand away to keep it from Mark and put his other hand back up in defense. When Mark made another move, Miguel kept him at bay and shoved him back.

"Not your call," Miguel reprimanded harshly.

"If someone were to see it then we should fucking use it!" Mark argued frantically while the panic in his voice escalated. "Dwight!"

They were dangerously close to the gate as Dwight could hear walker moans begin to surround the perimeter. If an ally saw the flare gun up above, their enemies would easily see who set it off. "Let's get out of this spot first."

"Christ, we can't wait that long," Mark muttered and lunged for Miguel letting the fear get the better of him.

"Mark, stop!" Miguel rebuked sharply.

"We're going to die!" Mark stressed like an over dramatic child, "Give me the fucking flare gun!"

"Mark, we'll do it; just not _here,_ " Dwight reprimanded, "Calm down!"

Walkers began drawing close enough that Dwight could hear individual feet shuffling and separate screeching's of hunger. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mark take a swing at Miguel as Dwight immediately wrapped his arms around Mark to stop him from acting so brashly. Unexpectedly, Mark head butted Dwight in the nose and stalked towards Miguel once more who was already disabled from Mark's previous hit.

Mark punched Miguel in the gut. Finally, Miguel relented his grip on the flare as Mark grabbed it with greed. He stopped what he was doing upon hearing Dwight's gun be cocked behind him. "Mark, this time I'm going to insist you stop this shit." Dwight spat blood that was spilling from his nose into his mouth but nevertheless his threat sounded menacing.

No one moved as Mark continued to face away with indignation. Miguel glanced from Dwight to Mark wondering if Mark would defy a friend and if Dwight would gun down a confidante.

Slowly, they watched Mark raise the flare gun high above his head while Dwight lowered his weapon in surrender but was equally upset Mark was going against the demand. Knowing Mark's mind had been made before he could correct an idiotic decision, he allowed his friend to make the mistake of firing the gun prematurely.

Mark pulled the trigger as the red flare shot up into the sky while temporarily lighting up the area around them. Dwight watched the light climb up swiftly into the night sky and then looked down to face the gate while using the brightness of the flare to see exactly they were dealing with. It didn't come to a surprise yet the sight made Dwight gasp. They all stood frozen when they saw hundreds of walkers angrily march towards Sanctuary at the same time that shots began to fire _at_ them from the _tree line!_

A bullet whizzed past Dwight's ear as they all fell into action to protect what they had left in Sanctuary's dire time of need. "Open fire!" Dwight shouted for everyone that could hear as he dove down and pushed Mark to do the same. Shots erupted from both sides while they army-crawled to a safer location where they could also contribute to the action.

Mark made a pained sound but continued in his search for better protection from the flying bullets in the air. Miguel crawled alongside and went so much as to shield Dwight from incoming fire in case it fell around him so Sanctuary's leader would be spared injury or death.

When they made it to the safe side of the concrete dividers, Dwight turned to see that the walkers finally made it to the fence while his men shot viciously at them with precision being as accurate as possible under the dim circumstances.

Dwight then turned to Mark to see him holding his side in agony. Instantly viewing around him, he saw other men shooting at the undead while others fought defected Saviors within their community.

"Miguel, I want you to make sure that Sherry sent that message out," Dwight ordered. Miguel gave a look of uncertainty. After all, if Saviors were on a mission to kill Dwight especially, he was vulnerable and had limited people to watch his back. Knowing that Miguel would both check what was asked and if she was okay, he watched Miguel leave to go further into town while also knowing he could breathe a sigh of relief if she had some people on her side.

Lifting his rifle up and looking over to the other side, he took aim and fired at the undead.


	8. Chapter 8

**AUTHOR'S NOTE - So Josh McDermitt (Eugene) had to delete all of his social media accounts because he was receiving death threats for what his current character arc is on the show. This is why we can't have nice things. It makes me so sad because you will never meet a better person than he is! He's nice, funny, and incredibly smart. My readers already know this because they are fantastic but pass on the message that the people we see on screen are people too. I hope he returns and that it hasn't affected him in the long run.**

Chapter 8

Tobin rode along the desolated highway with his horse as he hummed a little tune to himself in a cheerful manner. _Creedence Clearwater Revival_ was a band from his childhood of which he craved to hear once more. He supposed that simply playing their song in his memory was a better alternative than moping about an item long lost.

Heath was beside him as he travelled with his own horse while already tuning out Tobin's ever-present upbeat attitude. The younger man eyed his surroundings with a somber disposition. Tobin glanced towards Heath's prosthetic leg with slight condolence. Heath's spirit had been tarnished since the grenade attack. As much as Tobin tried to sympathize, there was nothing much that he personally had to be upset about.

The night was peaceful and without anything worth panicking over. In his personal life, he had someone close to keep him company with a home to spend his days. The apocalypse was merely a backdrop as everything else seemed satisfactory. As much as he could cry for the things that he had lost, there were so many more things that he gained. The treasures that consisted of his life were something to be enjoyed and he intended to do just that.

As the road inclined to reach the top of the hill, Tobin would admire the dark sky that overlooked the valley below. The stars lit up the world around him with ease as it blanketed the earth that he occupied. It was in the moments that he looked up at the universe where the infection seemed inconsequential in the scheme of things. Life continued.

"So much beauty in our new world," Tobin muttered to himself but heard Heath scoff behind him. He paid him no mind. Tobin was glad that his life hit a content groove so he could _see_ the beauty and stand in awe at it for a while.

Despite it being a winter month, Tobin was astounded at how warm the air felt. He was more stunned when walkers didn't make an appearance as the weather began to heat up. In other years, walkers always emerged from their hiding places as if awakening from hibernation. When the walkers were a no-show, a hope ignited within Tobin that perhaps the undead finally decomposed enough where they would no longer become a threat.

Being pulled from his thoughts, Tobin glanced over to Heath to see the man still looking around with skepticism. They had a job to keep the roads clear and protect all communities from a walker herd. However, it was a quiet night and trouble seemed far away. Plus, Tobin felt Heath needed some cheering up as well as a distraction then pointed up to the stars. "Quiz me," he said delightedly.

Heath sighed but gave a smile. "Not this again. We've done this a hundred times and I know you know all the constellations."

"Repetition is the best form of learning," Tobin argued.

He saw Heath roll his eyes in the darkness but looked up to the sky to humor him on another long night shift. "Alright. Um...find the Lynx."

Tobin stared up but easily pointed the Lynx out as he traced the shape with his index finger. "Just above the giraffe." He glanced towards Heath with consideration. "Want to take a whack at it?"

"No thanks," Heath said with a smile. He started to say something but became distracted by something the lit up the night sky in red. Tobin could see a red light shoot up into the sky from the reflection of Heath's glasses then turned to see the same line of red crawl upwards while fading like the firework it was.

The sense of peace which Tobin had felt before diminished as the need for action took its place. In their position at the top of the hill, both Heath and Tobin had overlooked the valley both night and day. As they recognized constellations in their boredom, they also knew where communities were upon necessity.

"That was from Sanctuary," Heath uttered as some fear crept into his voice. "What do you think that was about?"

"Can't imagine anything good," Tobin replied as a growing anxiety was building within him. "They wouldn't draw attention to themselves unless it was the only thing they could do."

They waited for ten seconds as if mentally deliberating what they should do but as time moved on, Tobin knew there was only one thing to do. Gunshots could be heard as soft as a whisper in the distance which only solidified Tobin's growing concern.

"That was an emergency flare," Tobin settled as he turned his horse around, "Let's check with Alexandria to see if they heard anything from the radio."

With that they both prodded their horses to ride at full speed towards their home. If Sanctuary was in danger, Alexandria would always vow to be the first one to respond.

...

Sherry _finally_ got the right transmission through and held the microphone to her mouth. "S.O.S. call! I need someone to answer this message right now!"

She released the button to speak so the other signal could come through. Waiting for ten seconds, she pushed the button again. "This is Sanctuary to Alexandria, we need help and are being attacked!"

Roars and bellows erupted outside as she could hear gunfire as close as the window beside her. On instinct, she crouched down at the same time that the exact window shattered from bullets. Briefly, she glanced towards the radio that appeared exposed and out in the open. If someone were to purposefully attack the house with intent of taking out their radio, it would be an easy task. Not a single part of her felt that any luck was on their side.

Just then, the door burst open as a man barged in with a terrorizing stance as she could see the crazed look on his face from thirty feet away. A rifle in one hand and a knife in the other, Sherry grabbed her pistol from her holster and carefully studied him from behind the desk. His aggressive stance made her point her weapon at him without second guessing if he was on their side or not. From the way he carried himself, she could tell he obviously entered the home with malcontent.

Stepping towards the desk slowly, he tried to adjust his eyes to the darkness of the house before he spotted what he was searching for. Sherry could tell he was staring at the radio and instantly posed to attack the second he raised his rifle towards it. With no time to think, she sprung up from her hiding space, aimed her gun, and fired.

Muted screams could be heard from the basement as the popping noise from the gun seemed amplified in the small space. Her bullet struck him squarely in the heart and straight through to the other side as the exit wound sent blood spattering the door behind him. He opened his mouth to let out a cry but no sound followed other than him falling on his side to the floor in a heap.

Sherry wasn't about to have him suffer for the short amount of time that he had left and shot him again just beside his temple. Cries could be heard once more from the concealed children in response to the terrifying noises above. As much as she wanted to comfort them and let them know everything was going to be okay, she had a more important job to do.

"Sherry?"

Holstering her gun, she took a deep breath before looking at the radio to hear the call from Alexandria went through. "Sherry?" The voice repeated.

Recognizing Daryl's gruff and low voice, she reached for the speaker while remaining low as the gunfire persisted outside. Sherry stayed quiet while trying to hear if more imminent danger was on its way.

"Fucking assholes!" She heard Miguel shout, "Fucking traitors!"

"Sherry!" Daryl practically yelled through the intercom, "Goddammit, pick up!"

She finally brought the speaker to her mouth and pressed the button to speak. "Daryl! Sanctuary is being attacked from the outside _and_ inside. We need help now!"

"Herd or Saviors?" Daryl questioned but Sherry could hear his voice raise with more alarm.

Her eyes flickered at the dead man who was several feet away. "Both," Sherry revealed, "Daryl, they cut off power from us. We are running on a generator but if you could please tell the other communities that we need their help…"

"Got it," Daryl interrupted as the line went blank before static took it's place. She already knew Daryl was on the job and that they would be on their way within an hour's time. She just didn't know if that hour would be too late.

Satisfied that her job was complete, she put the speaker down and let out a deep breath before springing into action once more. As she ran outside Sherry knew there were several facts that could help her stay sharp throughout the night. One, the exiled Saviors were receiving help from the inside to exterminate all people loyal to the other communities. Two, their help from the outside were the undead. It seemed to Sherry that it was an all-or-nothing predicament for both parties involved. The exiled Saviors wanted their opponents to die while the people of Sanctuary simply needed to fight in order to live. There was no gray area that Sherry could see. The exiled Saviors would stop at nothing to complete their task. In order to protect the people within the house, she could show no mercy.

Stepping slowly and carefully out of the house, she saw Miguel beside the generator talking amongst several allies behind a bush. When they saw her, they raised their weapons but quickly lowered them upon seeing who it was and waved at her to join them in their covert state.

"I can't stay long," Sherry whispered, "Someone has to keep an eye on the house."

"The message," Miguel started, "Did you send out the message that we need help?"

Sherry nodded, "Alexandria will be here as soon as they can and are also calling the other communities for extra support."

Miguel appreciated her answer and eyed the mess around them. "We'll have several men to help protect the house alongside you," he deliberated.

"We might be the only few that are left," Sherry stressed, "Dwight will need help fighting the threat at the front gates. I can cover the house all by myself."

Miguel seemed overwhelmed as others in their group began to raise their weapons upon seeing sketchy people arrive nearby the generator. Still obscured by a bush, they waited for the opportune moment to open fire.

"Now," Sherry whispered as they all shot at individual men with ease. Standing up and out of their hiding place, Sherry kept an eye on the far distance to see their people arrive on the scene with Saviors chasing behind them. A Savior had his sights on Peter as Sherry quickly aimed and shot before he had a chance to make another child fatherless. Peter turned around to see the guy had been shot and already presumed dead but ran the rest of the way to the generator at the same time Miguel shut it off.

"This is a massacre," Peter shouted over the commotion in his Scottish accent, "At this rate, we'll all be dead in minutes."

"The other communities are coming," Miguel said calmly, "We are not alone in this."

"There will be nothing to save by the time they get here," Peter said reasonably.

"No, we just have to outsmart the people killing us on the inside and stay covert for the ones shooting us from beyond the walls," Sherry argued, "We just all stay low and hidden until they leave before their next plan arises."

"Their next plan?" Miguel asked.

"They brought the walkers for a reason," Sherry made evident, "The ones inside will leave well before we face the walkers so they don't perform a suicide mission."

Considering Sherry's prediction for battle tactics, Miguel nodded his head knowing the idea was more than plausible.

"We're surrounded and perhaps outnumbered but we'll make do," Sherry responded back calmly, "Take whatever men you need with you. I can protect the house myself."

"I know you are capable but Dwight would kill me if I left you alone, Sherry," Miguel stressed, "No chance in hell am I going to do that."

"I can stay behind," a man beside them piped up amidst the confusion. Sherry remembered his name being Ian. Miguel seemed skeptical but Sherry waved him off hastily.

"See?" Sherry encouraged to ease Miguel's mind, "I have help. Now you can do what you have to do."

Miguel gave Ian the side eye with a dangerous look. "She dies and you're a fucking dead man."

Ian nodded with stoicism as Miguel wasted no further time and left the scene. The rest of the men, including Peter, followed dutifully to the front lines.

"What's the plan, boss?" Ian asked with his voice low.

Sherry stepped back from him at the sound of his tone and studied him for a long period before she responded. It was his voice that changed from when he spoke to Miguel versus when he spoke to her. Something about that small difference made Sherry second guess the help that she received. Beyond that, he didn't do anything suspicious. Yet, she was unsure if she could trust him.

"Make sure no one gets into that house if they aren't supposed to," Sherry instructed coldly. His body language was reading too eager for someone that should have been just as scared as she was. Wondering if she was reading more into than she should, Ian still seemed off to her.

"Roger that," Ian answered as they both ran towards the front porch to stand guard.

…

Dwight had an entire box of ammunition beside him as he tried to aim with precision in the dark. Many people fought beside him as they took cover behind the dividers that were consistently being clipped with bullets which made fragments of concrete and rock fly into the air.

There was no need to call out more orders. The men and women that still fought alongside him knew what was required of them. All they had to do was keep blasting until more help came.

Dwight wanted to find where the bullets were coming from - specifically in the tree line - and how they came to be so close to Sanctuary without being seen. No doubt, the exiled Saviors planted themselves in the trees before the walkers descended otherwise they would have been killed by their own herd. The numbers that the Saviors had within Sanctuary had to be much higher than he anticipated.

Running out of ammunition, Dwight hurriedly loaded another case into his assault rifle while quickly glancing to Mark who continued to grasp his side with bloodstained hands.

"Ugh," Mark uttered, "I'm going to die tonight."

"Don't say that," Dwight encouraged but then said what was on the tip of his tongue without fear that it was in poor taste. "But if you do, it's your own fucking fault. I told you not to shoot off that flare."

Mark groaned with defeated agony as his way of admitting to Dwight that he was right without necessarily saying it. However, Dwight immediately regretted saying it but as he was trying to form an apology, Mark weakly raised his gun and shot at someone behind Dwight.

As Dwight turned around, he saw a burly man with a hatchet that landed merely inches away from where Dwight knelt. Dwight faced Mark again who smiled faintly. "I'm sorry...I didn't listen to you."

"Please don't be sorry, Mark," Dwight replied with remorse in his own voice. He said it loud enough to be heard over the gunfire as he propped his assault rifle back onto the divider. "I'll get you out of here, okay? I promise that you'll live to see another day."

In comparison, Dwight bonded with others far more than Mark. Miguel, Carson, Daryl, and Takuya were far better friends than he had ever been with Mark. He didn't know what it was like to have a younger sibling but likened Mark to that more than a friend. His constant complaints and near-stupidity made it impossible to be good friends with him. But seeing him bleeding from his chest made Dwight think of losing Takuya and how much it hurt to remember he was no longer around. Good friends or not, Mark was one of the _only_ allies that Dwight had. That and Mark had helped him many times before. He wanted to return the favor. Again.

Another man with a hoodie over his head and his face covered with a black bandana crept beside the wounded Mark before either of them could react. With Dwight distracted by shooting at the walkers at the gate, the man took his opportune moment to attack. Dwight heard Mark yelp as he turned his attention to the scene and saw the hooded figure had stabbed Mark in the chest. Already the man was facing his next target which happened to be Dwight.

Dwight's rifle was too long and the man was too close to make a precise shot. Instead he used his weapon to hit the man across the face with the barrel. When the man was down, Dwight pulled out the knife that was still lodged in Mark's chest and stood over him as a mode of protection for his fallen comrade. Mark still made breaths of life, even if they sounded torturous. But Dwight was determined to keep his promise even with the added injury that had just occurred.

The hooded man tried to shake off the disorientation that overcame him with the blunt force of Dwight's rifle and walked towards him with another knife produced. Dwight stomped forward to meet the man head on with adrenaline pumping his actions. The man hesitated at Dwight's near terrifying stance and as he got closer, the man seemed to shrink in comparison to his almost six and half foot tall stature. Dwight nearly landed his knife into the man's chest before the hooded man came to and blocked Dwight from doing so. Dwight grabbed the man's arm and twisted it backwards to disorient the man further but the anonymous figure used a wrestling stance and made Dwight somersault forward.

Dwight staggered but tried to stay on his feet. However still on the ground, the hooded man pounced on him and tackled him to the ground. He tried to stab Dwight multiple times but Dwight managed to block him every single time. The last knife thrust, Dwight simply grabbed the knife away from him and threw it several feet away.

The hooded figure looked up to see where it was but as he gazed back down, his eyes followed Dwight's knife that he produced from underneath his back. The knife stabbed him just below the collarbone as blood spewed out from all directions. With more fight left in him, the man sprung towards Dwight even with the knife still lodged in his chest. Dwight took one step back but grabbed the man's face with his bare hands and twisted harshly until he heard a sickening crack as the man went instantly limp.

A feral persona threatened to break through which reminded Dwight of darker days. The urge to kill more was strong and hungry however he saw no one else to attack to quench the thirst. The switch in his head threatened to turn on but was quickly interrupted upon hearing Mark cough up blood. Being brought back to a more compassionate mindset, he let go of the hatred for all things and returned back for his people.

"Shit," Dwight mumbled and checked on his friend, "Shit, what do I do?"

Mark was completely out of a conscious state of mind but Dwight patted him on the shoulder and went back to work to hurry the war towards a swift end. It was what his friend needed to get out of their mess. It was the only thing that Dwight _could_ do.

…

Sherry guarded the house and watched as chaos ensued. The lack of light made it difficult to keep track of who was where but Sherry found a vantage point on the porch that kept her hidden from threats as Ian stayed nearby on the other side of the stairs.

Ian acted strange which further raised Sherry's suspicions in regards to him. He wasn't looking as often as she was for potential threats and rather kept his attention on her and the house. He wasn't trying to keep her safe like Miguel wanted him to. She didn't need his protection and was capable of taking care of herself. As it was his lack of scrutiny made her work double time. She was watching for Saviors, watching the house for suspicious activity… and now she had to keep her eyes on him.

She heard the white picket fence open and nodded at Ian that men were approaching the house. Sherry waited to get a better view of them and watched as the men walked up the steps to the front porch. There she fired and shot one man as Ian fired at the other but missed. As Sherry dismissed of the man that Ian didn't, a gunshot sounded from Ian's weapon followed by a burning sensation on the tip of her ear. She brought a hand to it and felt the very top had been nicked by a bullet! Had it been closer by a hair, her ear and the rest of her face would have been blown to bits. Already her ear bled effortlessly with streams of blood pouring down to her neck and clothes.

Still stunned, she looked up to Ian who stared at her in surprise. However it wasn't the nick that emitted such a reaction. It was the fact that she was still alive. With the gun still partially aimed at her and his reaction, she knew it was him who tried to take away her life.

"Friendly fire, Ian?" Sherry asked precariously and looked towards the other side of the porch while thankful there was the advantage of no lighting for two reasons: had she not been obscured by darkness, he would have exposed of her far more easily and also so he wouldn't see that her gun was now pointed directly at him.

"That happens again, you'll be the first to regret it," Sherry warned, "I hope I made myself clear."

Even in the darkness, Sherry could see there was frustration in Ian's face as he stared towards Sherry and then to the house. The uneasiness that she felt in regards to him was now feeling like alarms blaring in her mind. Her gut instinct was to fix the problem. She didn't necessarily know what that meant but he was feeling more like a loose cannon with every passing minute of which needed to be extracted.

Then Ian's expression changed from exasperation to resolve as his face contorted with confirmed dement. Slowly turning on his heel, he faced towards the house and held up his gun at the same time the door opened with Amber emerging from the protected confines.

…

Amber watched from the porch as Ian stared her down and aimed his pistol towards her. Instantly having tunnel vision, she could only see the small barrel of his weapon aimed directly at her face. She could hear a sob escape her throat as reaching for her weapon in the holster would prove to be too slow.

Had seconds passed or minutes she didn't know as time became irrelevant. She heard the gun go off and jumped from the noise yet the gun didn't appear as if he fired it at all. Just as she thought she was imagining things, Ian began to fire his weapon but his aim was askew as he started to fall face down to the porch. Amber remained petrified but heard the bullets penetrate the porch roof above her while screams sounded in the house behind her.

The tunnel vision subsided as she saw Sherry pointing a gun at a now fallen Ian. Even though the whole thing happened in front of Amber's own eyes, she still stood in disbelief that she was able to live another day.

…

The moment that Ian turned on his heel towards the house, Sherry briefly saw him fix his eyes on his first victim - Amber.

Without giving it another thought, Sherry lifted her gun and pulled the trigger as her bullet penetrated Ian's back. His spinal cord was immediately affected as he began to crumble to the ground while his gun went off five times while each bullet hit the house before his finger released its grasp on the automatic weapon altogether.

His body splayed on the porch, Sherry quickly glanced up to Amber who stood merely feet away with her mouth agape.

"Amber," Sherry started and walked towards her, "Get inside the house and tell everyone that they are going to be okay. You don't need to be out here anymore."

"Um…" Amber said as she closed her eyes while trying to form a thought. Ian moaned at Sherry's feet but wailed when Sherry violently kicked him in his side.

"Amber?" Sherry repeated with concern.

"Okay," was all Amber could utter as she turned around to walk back into their home.

Sherry watched her step into the house then turned her full attention to the man in front of her with detest.

"You're not going anywhere," Sherry reiterated in a cold voice and brought her gun up to shoot him in the face without blinking an eye.

…

Fighting inside _and_ outside persisted. Dwight was unsure of how long they had been at it but didn't want to presume Alexandria would come to their rescue anytime soon. They couldn't rely on the other communities even if they wished for their presence. As it were, they were all alone.

The first thing that Dwight noticed was the smell. When one of his men told him they only had one small tank of gasoline left, he knew it as something strange. As part of their vital things to store, it was unfathomable that they were running so low.

The aroma of fuel mixed with burning wood filled the air at the same time Dwight saw flickers of flames erupt and entirely surround the perimeter of Sanctuary. The fire spread effortlessly as he watched light trail along the fence at such a fast pace that only gasoline could help assist.

"Sherry was right," Miguel said as he looked around Sanctuary then to Dwight who stood twenty feet away, "You see any Saviors in this place? They hightailed it out of here before the real show begins."

More light was provided as more flames found items to ignite. Houses along the perimeter were the first ones at risk. Dwight worried about some of his people taking shelter in said homes but focused on shooting more walkers as the hundreds of undead leaned against the metal fence. The main problem they faced was the giant wooden beams that held the fence in place which were currently on fire. As the walkers pressed against the fence, it added the already weakened structure with ease.

Dwight glanced down at Mark with worry but continued with defending his community as long as it was his to protect. Not considering what would happen to himself and the ones he cared about, he continued to fight and vowed that the exiled Saviors would die with Sanctuary. If he died with them, so be it.

…

Her surroundings appeared brighter compared to the darkness of the night. It proved to be another setback instead of a help as houses surrounding Dwight's home became engulfed in flames.

"Amber!" Sherry called into the house and waited for a response. She kept watch while hearing Amber step over dead bodies behind her before she made it to where Sherry stood on the porch steps.

"What is it?" Amber asked warily.

"You have a gun with you, right?" Sherry questioned back.

"Um, yeah?" Amber responded as Sherry stepped off the porch. "Um… You're leaving me?! You told me that I don't have to be out here anymore!"

"Just for a few seconds," Sherry replied and walked towards the back of the house. The house was directly beside the gate of Sanctuary as fire lined the gate with ease. A couple of beams were on fire as well as what was left over of the walkers that hung on the wall. The house beside Dwight's home was fairly close to the gate and left only several feet between its foundation and the wall. To her dismay, she saw the house had already been affected by the flames.

Looking at Dwight's house for perspective, she saw it wasn't directly affected by the wall itself but as she continued to observe, she began coughing at the smoke that was building in the air. Walking towards the street, she stared up at the sky to see the stars were obscured by the poisonous hot air.

"We need to get these people out of the house!" Sherry demanded and walked towards the fence. She continued to cough but looked around to see if there was potential danger of exiled Saviors. For the past several minutes, it remained quiet on that account with no Saviors worth mentioning.

Sherry had to change the plan. It was her priority to keep the people safe. Not knowing if Dwight's house would remain free of the flames or not, she didn't trust their families to be left in the basement especially with no ventilation to escape the smell that surrounded Sherry even as she was outside in the open.

Amber nodded as they both ran into the house as the home beside them had flames spreading quickly. The pace that it was spreading was unnatural. It made Sherry work fast as she ran into the house to get her people to safety.

…

The smell of burnt gasoline was everywhere around them. Dwight's eyes burned as he watched the fire tear through Sanctuary hungrily. Men, including him, began to cough at the unbreathable air. Surrounded by darkness, walkers, and smoke filled with dangerous levels of carbon dioxide, the exiled Saviors left them to choke in their own grave. As each surrounding house went up in flames, and the fences became engulfed, he wanted to find Sherry and hold her one last time before they perished with their sorry excuse of a home.

The devastation was insurmountable. What was there to do when there was nothing left to defend and they had no way of escape? Ash and soot covered them all from top to bottom as fire cracked or sometimes imploded a home in the distance.

Mark coughed pitifully at Dwight's feet. Dwight was instantly pulled back to the present to see blood trickle to the side of Mark's face. There was nothing that they could do except wait to die. _Not yet,_ Dwight thought to himself. _Don't give up yet._

"No," Dwight muttered and tried to pull on Mark's arm. He didn't know his destination yet but saw the clearing next to the mill. It was away from the houses and would at least give them some sort of breathable air. But then remembering that perhaps some exiled Saviors lingered beyond the gates, the opening clearing seemed like a bad place to sit as they could potentially be picked off one-by-one.

The first beam broke at the front gate with the second beam falling only seconds after from all the weight of the unfazed walkers. The walkers that stood in front were roasted but the ones behind them were burnt but weren't going to let it get in the way of the meal awaiting them on the inside.

With uncertainty, Dwight decided to sit next to Mark and think of a new plan. He hated to think he was going to die in Sanctuary but as he continued to cough and gasp for air, the idea nearly seemed inviting… welcoming…

"Look!" He heard Peter manage to yell followed by boisterous hacking from too much overexertion. And out of the darkness and beyond the rising flames, Dwight saw headlights from cars materialize from the other side of the fence as they drew closer.

"Alexandria," he heard Miguel mutter quietly with a small grin on his face. They heard shouts from the cars when gunfire rained around them. However, it wasn't just the exiled Saviors firing at fish in a barrel. Dwight could detect multiple people fighting both walkers and shooting at the few Saviors that were sitting in the tree line. No longer did they sit comfortably in their hiding places and instead were being picked off just as easily as Dwight's people had been before. Knowing that they had the proper cover, Dwight could take the opportunity to tell his people what to do in order to survive. The other communities could handle their opposition. All Dwight's people had to do was live to see another day.

"The clearing by the mill," Dwight said in a hoarse voice towards Miguel, "Everyone needs to make it there now." He stood up to drag Mark towards it while zoning out the fact that Mark was a lost cause. No longer accepting the thought that he could lose another friend under his watch, he pulled Mark along towards the mill.

"Let us take him there," Miguel advised, "You get the families and Sherry."

Dwight nodded with instant worry of his girlfriend. No longer having to focus on a war that was on his shoulders, he could now think of what was most important to him. Even if it caused him to worry to the point that he could pass out.

…

They had several things in the house that they brought in the front yard for fear that the house would catch on fire like what seemed like the rest of Sanctuary. The oxygen tanks that they carried out were handled with care and instantly used for the young children who were having difficulty breathing with the lack of fresh air.

Sherry held Lorraine with an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth as Valerie held Lydia in suit. The exiled Saviors were gone. When they first left the security that the house provided, Sherry received whiplash from staring back and forth for any signs of imminent danger. But nothing happened. She was left to assume the exiled Saviors intended to asphyxiate them with all of Sanctuary being their grave.

All was quiet minus the coughing and sounds of flames binging on countless homes. Sherry's eyes stung from the smoke but she continued to keep watch as an extra precaution.

"Sherry!" She heard Dwight shout as he staggered over to their front yard. He was weakened significantly but seemed hopeful by the expression on his face. Kneeling beside her, he took a hand to her cheek and kissed her temple. "Alexandria is here! We're safe!"

She inhaled too fast at the sudden alleviation then coughed from the smoke again. Dwight held her as he waited for her fit to subside while Sherry gazed at the fallen community around them. Sherry was in the grenade attack in Alexandria. It wasn't until now that she realized just how lucky Alexandria had been in such a raid. Sanctuary was damaged beyond renewal.

Yet as help arrived with familiar faces from Alexandria, despair was the furthest emotion Sherry was feeling. It was a relief to let Sanctuary finally go. They had no ties, no commitments, and no obligation to keep the dead city afloat. It was now officially a lost cause. For that, Sherry was beyond consoled.

...

 _You are the most pathetic and heartless person I know,_ Amber thought to herself while she walked to the clearing by the mill that served as the only place that the doctors could work on minor to critical injuries alike. Several homes stayed unchanged from the fire which including Dwight's house and several other homes on their same street as well as the court house which still stood tall and ominous.

"Mark!" Amber shouted once she made it to the clearing but coughed at the strain it gave her already hoarse throat.

Several others glanced up toward her but went back to business as they already had their hands full with multiple patients.

"Amber!"

Amber turned around to see Christy fast approaching with arms outstretched. They embraced before Christy took both sides of Amber's face to examine every inch of her. "Do you need an oxygen tank? Do you feel faint? Do you have any injuries that haven't been looked at yet?"

"I'm a little frazzled but I'm doing okay," Amber disclosed and felt her face lose its composure, "Where is Mark?"

"They are performing surgery on him right now in the RV," Christy answered as Amber immediately began to crumble at the news.

"Oh my god!" Amber exclaimed as she felt her heart break, "I can't believe this!"

"He could pull through, Amber," Christy soothed but said nothing more.

"I'm such a terrible person!" Amber cried, "He has given so much to me and now it's too late for me to get my shit together. Oh, god, why am I so awful?"

"Honey, this is not the time to blame yourself," Christy spoke up with a gentle voice, "But right now you need to be seen so we can see if you're doing okay."

"I cheated on him," Amber blurted out when Christy started walking away. Christy stopped in her tracks and faced her with shock evident in her eyes.

"I cheated on him and now he's dying," Amber cried, "I'm a god awful person!"

"This isn't my business, Amber," Christy whispered back, "Why are you telling me all this?"

"I don't know…" Amber confessed with her heart hurting, "I don't know what to do right now."

Christy stepped close to Amber with a light smile but stern eyes. "I already told you what is needed. Mark is being taken care of to the best of Doctor Carson's abilities. There isn't much you can do for him at the moment. Take care of yourself now. But I advise you, as a friend, to think about your future with Mark. If he dies, that's something you need to deal with. If he lives, you need to consider giving him the respect you would want for yourself. Cut him loose or stick with him. For as long as you've been together, you owe it to him."

Amber tearfully looked to Christy and sniffled in response. It echoed Megan's sentiments exactly. Mark deserved to be happy and she had been tormenting him for months on end. Considering that his time had been wasted due to the possibility of death, she began to cry again as Christy brought her into a hug.

…

Dwight stood by the RV while waiting for Mark's emergency surgery to finish. Maggie stood next to him in support as they waited for any kind of verdict.

News of Mark would have to wait as he saw several of his friends fast approaching with information of their own. Dwight straightened and felt relieved with the expressions they each had.

Good news was welcome as Dwight stared away briefly while waiting from them to walk next to the RV. Quickly staring at the once tall fence, Dwight remembered he had spent all day trying to improve the pathetic metal partition that had been torn apart hours later. Like everything else, his efforts had fallen short when it came to saving Sanctuary. He had to let it go and move on.

Rick was followed by Daryl and Aaron as they seemed pleased with whatever outcome of attacking the exiled Saviors. They seemed to talk amongst themselves and Dwight was surprised at how relaxed everyone appeared. Instead of Rick acting like a burden was on his shoulders for taking more people into his community, he carried a sense of calmness as if letting Sanctuary go was the best thing for everyone. Dwight couldn't disagree with that.

"We attacked from this side and chased them down to the best of our ability," Peter responded with his Scottish accent ringing through with each word. "We could have potentially annihilated their chances of attacking us any further."

"Does it matter if they did?" Aaron questioned. "Look at this place."

"It'll be hard to recover from this, boss," Miguel admitted to himself and to everyone else.

"We're not going to recover," Dwight settled slowly and looked to his friends. "We're leaving. All of us."

They all looked to each other knowing that it was the right course of action and they ultimately didn't have any other choice.

"Where are we going?" Miguel asked.

Dwight reached down for a cigarette and lighter then glanced towards every part of Sanctuary. Some homes were still up in flames as they all monitored it so it didn't spread and cause a forest fire. Some homes still remained standing and untouched but it was a lost cause to keep it going. There was too much working against it.

"With permission from each community, I propose my people choose where they would like to relocate," Dwight suggested, "Like we did after the war with Negan."

"You have approval from Alexandria," Rick spoke up, "They will all have to be interviewed by Sherry with a trial run of no guns for two weeks. Some might have to be watched closely if they have ulterior motives. Especially since we have the Saviors former leader in custody."

"Sounds fair," Dwight answered, "Thank you."

"Hilltop has accepted others from the past," Maggie said with encouragement, "This is no different. We would be happy to assist as well."

She patted Dwight on the shoulder as he smiled in return. Ezekiel from the Kingdom and Hank from New Haven were absent from the emergency call but members from each community said they would be notified upon arrival back from Sanctuary. With approval of at least half the community, they were off to a great start to a new beginning.

…

Knowing that Mark's surgery would continue for much longer, he ventured out to assist others he needed his help. He even babysat Valerie's kids as she was examined by nurses just in case. Sherry acted like the energizer bunny and was eager to aid their people. Dwight watched her when his babysitting duties were done and became concerned when he saw the blood on her neck.

Stepping towards her, he reached for her forearm which made her stop and take a moment to breathe and analyze their miracle of being alive. Staring up at Dwight, he peered at her ear without saying a word to see it was slightly nicked from either a knife or bullet. Swallowing his anger down, he said nothing and only wanted to support Sherry as he equally needed her calmness and comfort.

Dwight placed a hand on Sherry's shoulder with tenderness to his touch. His face was marred with soot as he had been fighting the fires for most of the night. The lightest speck of brightness that he could see was the white in Sherry's eyes as she stared at him with a mixture of both relief and apology. They both wanted Sanctuary to work but slowly watched it slip away like a city caught in a landslide. The further it got away from their grasp, the more they wanted to let go. As they stood in the middle of what used to be a formidable strong point, they saw it was now a wasteland with nothing left to offer.

A part of Dwight felt that comparing the community to himself and the personal redemption story that he was still trying to write. But unlike when he was burned, Sanctuary couldn't get back on its feet. He felt for the place and was almost saddened that he failed to keep it thriving. To him, Sanctuary's redemption was symbolic to his own. He wanted it to change like he had. But the exiled Saviors wouldn't let it have its chance.

Unlike the fallen town, Dwight was determined to not fall. He had the chance to get away and be among people with the same common goal that he had. He could continue to fight for the world to be like it was before and no longer had to call the shots to do so. As much as he wanted his town to survive, he had to let it go to start anew for himself and for what mattered to him.

Sherry reached up and held his forearm. Seeing the pain behind his eyes, he could already see the clear streaks that trailed all the way to her jawline. Understanding that they were both tears of joy and defeat, Dwight appreciated the heartbreak that Sherry felt on his behalf.

Kissing the top of Sherry's head, he brought her into a warm embrace and slowly wrapped his arms around her shoulder blades as he felt her arms enclose around his back. Placing his chin above her head, he put a hand behind her neck as nothing had to be said at all.

Sanctuary was gone. That part of their lives was over. No longer attached to an obligation to stay with the godforsaken place, the weight seemed to lift off of them with great ease.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, & FACTS**

 **#1 - Pray For Manchester. Cruel senseless acts to children that just wanted to have the time of their lives.**

 **#2 - I know, it's been a long time since I posted. However, I will be posting a new chapter every day until I reach Chapter 16 of Heal. Yep, that's right! 9 whole days of new full chapters!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 _February 27, 2014_

Dwight made sure that he retrieved all of his things from his closet and started placing them inside the duffel bag on his bed. He had a suitcase already full of the CD's and vinyl albums that he collected for nearly a year. Knowing he should travel light, he justified that they would be in Alexandria for a very long time. Why shouldn't he be comfortable in his new home?

 _Home,_ Dwight thought to himself. Alexandria already felt like his home since they went there often to get away from the stress of Sanctuary. Daryl's couch was a familiar resting place for him. His first item of business was finding a house in the newly developed area of Alexandria that he could call his own. That would make his permanent stay even better.

As he picked up some shoes from the closet floor, the action pushed something down as it fell to the ground in plain sight. Dwight took a sharp breath as he nearly forgot that he stashed Lucille behind his belongings in the first place. But there she was laying in the middle of his closet.

Dwight didn't necessarily believe that objects could carry some power to them whether they be good or evil. However, Lucille made him second guess that several times. She was powerful and able to strike fear into the hearts of hundreds if not thousands before they met their demise. The wire was rusted while the wood began to rot. Indeed, her glory days were in the past where he hoped they would stay.

 _Just leave the stupid bat here,_ Dwight thought as he absentmindedly grabbed the bat and walked out of the closet. Like Sanctuary, it should have been abandoned while left tainted because of Negan. The people he affected were able to have a second shot at life; with the exception of the exiled Saviors who were too far gone. Sanctuary and Lucille needed to die along with Negan's legacy.

At least that's what he _thought_ before he stuffed it into his large weapons bag.

…

Standing underneath the willow tree beside Sherry's old house within Sanctuary, she stood next to Ashlyn and Megan as their group of Negan's ex-wives circled around the lone cross in the middle of the unkempt lawn.

There was only one reason why Ashlyn wanted to revisit Sanctuary and upon the knowledge that it would be abandoned save for the walkers that would stumble on it, she insisted on saying a last goodbye to her sister. It was bittersweet to know that any other visits to Amanda's final resting place would be near impossible. However, knowing it was their last time lamenting by the willow, they also knew it was another step towards a more hopeful future.

Sherry glanced towards their destroyed house and sighed knowing it was the last time she had to step foot in Sanctuary. Staring at all the dear faces around her, they had endured hell together. It seemed like ages ago. She didn't miss those days one bit.

Ashlyn held Noelle and stood over Amanda's grave in silence. With a deep breath, she held her daughter closer then looked to everyone with a light smile. "Can you believe it's been almost three years since we last saw her?"

"Feels like a decade has passed and like only yesterday all at once," Christy recalled fondly, "Her heart was just too bright for this world."

"That's a good way to word it," Ashlyn admired but sighed, "If only she waited to see the potential that the world still offered."

"I wish I could have known her," Amber stated and brought Ashlyn into a side hug.

"You would've gotten along," Megan expressed warmly.

"Sherry, you're being a little quiet," Ashlyn commented towards Sherry who stepped away from the others with arms folded.

"I'm just thinking of how different our lives would have been if she had been with us," Sherry whispered. Amanda's death was something she mulled over and over again in her mind. Even speaking to Kevin about it still made her confused on why it happened and why she shouldn't take the blame for it in some way.

"No use dwelling on how she died or why she isn't with us anymore," Ashlyn encouraged, "We came to say our goodbyes and that we miss her."

Sherry nodded in agreement as they all took a couple steps forward and gave one last look at Amanda's grave. Christy and Amber stepped up first and said their quick goodbyes then left as Sherry assumed Amber wished to be close to Mark in case he needed anything.

Megan then walked slowly towards the grave and patted the makeshift cross gently. "We love and miss you, sister. I hope you finally found peace."

Before leaving Sherry and Ashlyn alone, Megan patted Ashlyn in the same way that she touched the delicate tombstone then walked towards the entrance where people were congregating to leave for the other communities.

The wind blew as the branches of the willow tree made a soft whistling noise. Ashlyn began to cry but then laughed in spite of herself, "God, it's never going to get any easier, is it?"

"It's okay if it doesn't," Sherry comforted distantly, "She was your sister."

"She was yours too," Ashlyn said warmly and gazed at Sherry, "You protected us so much in those years. It's odd to _not_ think about you any other way."

"The feeling is mutual," Sherry agreed softly, "Weird circumstances seem to bring people together, don't they?"

"Yes, they do," Ashlyn said with another cry and kissed Sherry on the cheek before walking towards the grave and kneeling before it. Noelle slept on Ashlyn's shoulder without any sign of waking as Ashlyn just stared at the cross made from branches of a nearby tree other than the willow.

"This is your niece," Ashlyn started, "I'm sure you already know about her...she's two months old. She reminds me of how our younger brothers looked when they were babies. It makes me happy that Noelle got our side of the family's looks." She stopped and took a shaky breath before continuing. "I miss you every day. I keep thinking that I'll always just see you again. Maybe I will. I _hope_ I will. If that happens, I can't wait to tell you all about what happens in the next fifty years. You would be happy knowing that we are trying to make the world a good one. Despite it being better… it still won't be as bright as it could have been if you were here."

Breathing slowly, Ashlyn got on her feet and looked to Sherry with a smile. "I'll see you at the front gate?"

"I'll be there in a second," Sherry assured as she stood all by herself with Ashlyn clearing the area.

For a while she said and did nothing. Sherry only looked at the grave that had been made for her friend after an event that ripped her heart out. It nearly killed her to relive it. The wind continued to blow as she thought about what to say. A comfort settled over her as she started to think of all the ways she screwed up. It was like a warmth that overcame her and embraced with open arms. It was something that couldn't be explained but it happened immediately when she felt guilty for not locking the bathroom door to keep a loaded weapon from a traumatized teenager. As if Amanda - wherever she was - offered forgiveness in her own way.

A sob broke through as Sherry held her middle while letting herself breakdown. "I'm sorry that you aren't here to see the better days," Sherry cried, "I wish you could have seen what it's like to live now."

The only response back was the continuous breeze that gave Sanctuary some semblance of life before they all left.

…

Dwight lit a cigarette despite the doctor telling him to lay off after the many cough attacks he endured from the night before. Ignoring the wisdom of Harlan Carson, he inhaled a drag before blowing smoke into the front entrance of Negan's house which stood unscathed from the flames of the attack.

It seemed wrong that one of the only homes left standing was Negan's. In a sudden care for fairness, Dwight simply wanted the final word on something and wished for such a home with terrible memories to burn to the ground.

Looking at the place, he scoffed and took the cigarette away from his mouth and put it on a cushioned seat in the middle of the front entrance before turning around and leaving it to burn away in its own time.

…

Mark laid in the RV with several blankets up to his chin. He was stitched and cared for with what Harlan said to be nothing short of a miracle.

His mobility was severely hindered and he was on a lot of pain medicine to relieve any excruciating soreness that was expected with his condition of being shot _and_ stabbed in the chest.

The door to the RV opened and closed as Amber stepped into the small room that Mark was situated in for the trip to the Kingdom. Harlan had been getting impressive with his skills but still insisted that Doctor Edwards was the better man for the job and would help Mark get back to normal.

"How are you feeling?" Amber asked tenderly.

"I'm alright," Mark whispered, "You ready to leave?"

"I've been ready for a long time," Amber answered then fell to silence as she sat on the side of his bed. He heard people converse from outside before they embarked on their trip as he and Amber kept quiet in an almost awkward silence.

"Mark, I…" Amber started but stopped, "I don't know where you stand and you could let me know if what I say is out of line but I want to give each other an honest shot. I'm sorry that I proved myself otherwise before."

He scoffed but then entered a coughing fit from doing so. "You don't have to take pity on me."

"It's not pity," Amber confirmed, "I want to take care of you but I also want you to feel loved. And I haven't been doing that lately. I'm sorry. I really hope you find a way to forgive me."

Mark watched without any emotion showing as Amber waited for a response. The longer that he went silent, the more nervous she became and her eyes left his and fell to the ground while worrying that her effort had been shot down.

Just as she made a move to leave, Mark weakly reached for her by only moving his hand. The gesture didn't go unnoticed by Amber who immediately interlaced her fingers with his and began to cry while kneeling beside his bed. Mark understood the last interaction to be some of reconciliation. Whether it lasted ten years or ten minutes, he was just satisfied with the time he had where he wasn't fighting with her.

…

Sherry didn't turn around to look at her place of residence one more time. Not one ounce of her felt nostalgic for the prison that was Sanctuary. She only kept her eyes forward to focus on the present and the future. The only difficult goodbye was Amanda's grave. But even then the person had already been long gone and free of the wretched chains that was their former life.

The first crossroad was for New Haven as Peter and his family bid their goodbyes to have a fresh start in one of their smallest communities. Peter seemed enthusiastic to help Hank build the town up to be just as resilient as the three main strongholds. Sherry didn't doubt his ability to do so and knew Peter to be a fighter.

The second crossroad was for Hilltop. Many of their leaders were present and had already helped the night before as they led the way for several people to follow. Carson carried Lydia for Valerie after Sherry embraced someone who she considered a friend. Amber and Sherry said their farewells to Megan and Ashlyn then were on their way.

The third crossroad was for the Kingdom as Sherry became more emotional than she thought when saying goodbye to Amber. The RV rolled towards the second largest community in their province while Sherry wiped at tears overflowing.

Physically exhausted from spending the night and day tending to others, Sherry dozed off on the last stretch as her head rested on Dwight's shoulder. The weather went back to being colder as he rubbed her arm back and forth to keep her warm.

With what felt like only minutes after saying goodbye to Amber, Dwight patted her twice to indicate that their trip was over. Her eyes opened slowly from her sleepy state but she glanced up to see the walls of Alexandria in the near distance.

Sherry had been to Alexandria many times. It had never been a mundane trip but something felt different as they approached the scene slowly. It was a tender feeling knowing that they didn't have to leave and return to Sanctuary several days later. Alexandria was her home now. The knowledge of that alone was an enormous comfort.

Sherry glimpsed toward Dwight at the same time he glanced at her with a smile. It was the beginning of a new chapter in their personal life and they could both feel it. She didn't think it as daunting to embark on something so different and _normal._ Rather she found it welcoming to find a comfortable groove for once. She hoped that she would adjust well to new surroundings.

It was the future they both wanted. They had to fight to maintain the lifestyle that would have been theirs had an apocalypse not occurred. It was within their reach. Sherry hoped for her sake that she would reach out and take advantage of it.

…

"We have started a few crops here in there such as pruning and maintaining the soil," Rick elucidated as he and Sherry walked around the man-made reservoir. He periodically picked up a stone from the ground and tossed it into the water to see if it would skip along the surface but Sherry quickly learned the pastime wasn't much of his forte. Squinting in disappointment after every failed attempt, he then gave up and grinned at Sherry who wrote down every piece of information that she needed to stay on top of her job as Deanna's replacement.

A secretary of sorts, Deanna had a lot of control and information for the community. With Carol being incapacitated from her injury almost a year ago, her health deteriorated and she could no longer have as many responsibilities as she had before. Rick relied a lot on Sherry to fill in Deanna's shoes even if she lived in a different community until now. Being reluctant, Sherry did so anyways knowing that Rick's workload didn't afford more time to devote to the "bigger picture" as he usually phrased it.

Now that Sherry lived in Alexandria, she could do her job full-time with no distractions from Sanctuary. It gave her a purpose and was the perfect distraction.

"I can organize where people from Sanctuary stay as well," Sherry responded, "See to it that they are accommodated before they are assigned to certain homes."

"Sounds great," Rick replied happily, "Thank you for being so willing to help."

"Thank you for always insisting to the point where I'm not sure I had a choice," Sherry teased while thinking of when they first met. After several hours of persuading her that he was a good person, she knew she would have to trust him in exchange for the freedom that she craved.

Rick scoffed at her retort but chuckled anyways. They looked around Alexandria while very pleased at their surroundings and where their life currently stood.

"We did it," Rick breathed, "After all the fighting, the pain, and the suffering. We did it. We made this happen."

"Yes, we did," Sherry agreed while admiring the view, "Think this is all going to last?"

"I can't bring myself to think otherwise," Rick admitted then patted her back. "Thanks for being my right hand man with this."

Sherry smirked at his unbeatable sense of gratitude and enthusiasm. Nodding with her agreement they watched as Alexandrians walked around while talking or laughing with friends and family. They went about their business as Sherry admired the scene. She hoped that the peaceful feeling would stay and that perhaps they were stronger than any enemy that would dare face them. That was her hope at least.

…

The amount of peace Dwight felt within Alexandria was immeasurable. Rick gave previous members of Sanctuary an entire week to evaluate and get their bearings before they began to contribute. All besides Sherry who had already conducted most of Alexandria's businesses well before moving in. But even then Rick suggested that she limit her work to interviews and task scheduling until she felt ready to take on what she could.

Taking a seat on Daryl's couch, Dwight took a deep breath and sighed. For once he didn't have to worry about someone wanting to kill him or conspiring against the entire community. It was nice to have no responsibilities rather than feeling as if he was taking on the world.

In the week he knew he would probably help Sherry with her job as he felt it unfair that she never got a break even though she was someone who worked the hardest. He didn't mind and would give him more time to be with her.

He almost beamed from ear to ear by thinking about her. That woman was the love of his life and he finally completed his obligation to keep Sanctuary so they could move on the way they had wanted to for years.

Unsure of what the future held, Dwight contemplated the next step in their life. _Should we get married?_ Dwight thought and was surprised at how immediate his mind jumped to that being a possibility and something that could be in the plans.

He mulled over it but then brushed it aside. Dwight loved Sherry but didn't wish to pressure her into something that she wasn't ready for. There had to be a few conversations that they needed to have before he even thought she or he were ready for that kind of relationship.

 _But it could happen,_ Dwight thought again and reached into his jacket pocket to retrieve a golden wedding ring that he got for Sherry to wear eventually. When he felt they were both ready, he couldn't wait to give her something to commemorate such a symbol of love despite their continuous hardship.

It had three square diamonds with the middle one being the largest. It's prongs were larger than most rings as it secured each diamond. It wasn't like anything that Dwight had ever seen. Just like Sherry.

He wrapped his hand around the valuable piece and put it in his pocket once more.

…

Sherry walked the perimeter of Alexandria as the sun began to set. She was temporarily taking residence in Deanna's old house where she conducted business with new members anyways. She didn't know if it was going to be her permanent setting but felt better knowing Alexandria was most definitely going to stick.

She stopped before she came upon her house and looked to the bottom floor of the connected townhomes. There was one window which was barred as Sherry stared at it while the same familiar numbing overcame her. Just past those bars sat a man who would serve a life sentence for his trespasses against the communities. That was the one downside of Alexandria. Sherry couldn't pretend that her life wasn't affected by him. He took a personal part of her life then exploited it with tender kisses and imitated affection.

She physically stood fifty feet away from where he was but refused to take a step towards him. She knew that her friends stopped by to tell him of his trespasses against them and moved on. Not all but some of them did. Regardless, they walked away feeling better for it. Visiting Negan was something that Sherry couldn't stomach yet. She didn't think she would ever be able to.

It was a mixture of betrayal and heartache that kept her from seeing him. Even after all the times that he showed his dominance over her, _she_ was the one who stabbed him in the gut to get away from him. She practically locked him in his cell that would be his home until the day he died. And she did love him; misguided of a love, she could admit. But the feelings still lingered despite their complicated history.

Gathering up the courage, she walked towards her house without a second thought. She was the one in control and she had to keep on reminding herself that Negan could no longer mess with her even if he would be in close proximity throughout her stay in the community. She refused to budge as she was fond of the people. Sweeping the emotions away that threatened to burst at the seams, she feigned indifference and went about her business.

Upon opening the door, she heard a couple of people in the living room from Sanctuary as they greeted her with a smile. Miguel was standing closest to her with his hands folded. Dwight stood by the fireplace on the opposite wall with his crossbow on his back almost as if preparing for a shift even if Rick suggested they all relax for a week before they started to work.

"Rick asked as all to be interviewed by you when it was time to start working again," Miguel greeted awkwardly, "We are ready to contribute to the community and don't want to take it easy when there is so much to do."

"Are you sure?" Sherry asked and looked to all of them, "Take the time to relax. We have all been through so much in the last several days."

"Because of that we can help fortify this place in case of future attacks from people or walkers," Dwight argued, "Starting with your interviews. You can read people like no one else. That's the best first step I can think of."

"You're sounding paranoid," Sherry teased but knew he had a fair point. His logic was backed up with the exiled Saviors living amongst them for so long. The tip of Sherry's ear was gone because of it.

"I sound smart," Dwight joked back and winked, "I'll let you admit it this time."

Rolling her eyes, she stepped to the side and gestured towards the door. "I'm not in charge in Alexandria but I'm sure Rick will agree with me when I say that our people need time to recoup. I will do the interviews now but I advise that everyone rests up before they get back on any kind of duty."

"Your advise will be taken into consideration," Dwight said and made eye contact with her, "We'll at least give it a couple of days before we start taking shifts at the wall. Fair compromise?"

"Fair enough," Sherry replied and nodded at the door, "One interview at a time and everyone waits their turn outside."

Everyone started exiting the townhome as Dwight stayed next to the fireplace. Sherry pointed at the lone arm chair in front of the bookcase as a gesture for him to take his seat.

"Surprised Rick requested that you get an interview," Sherry thought out loud, "I would have figured he would have already done that long ago."

"He didn't request that you interview me," Dwight admitted coyly, "I just wanted to stop by. He already gave me an interview over a year ago, by the way."

"Oh, you're trouble," Sherry muttered with a grin. His countenance appeared different to her. He seemed much more enthusiastic about life than he had been in the past three and a half years. The nightmares that were once his life were being lifted away. The change in Dwight was evident in his eyes that seemed vibrant and joyful. It was her same Dwight that asked her to dance in the mansion years before. The same one who convinced her to join in singing a Beatles song in the car. He was back. She missed him so much.

"Sanctuary is over," Dwight uttered quietly as if reading her mind and stared at Sherry with a smile. "We all get a chance to move on and be better."

Sherry's lips curled up slightly as she walked over to the camcorder and pressed the record button. "Welcome to Alexandria," she began.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 _March 12, 2014_

Dwight made his rounds on his first day leading charge of security as Sasha temporarily located to Hilltop to be with her recently born godson. It was an idea that he was slightly envious over but as for his own goddaughter, Noelle was being well looked after by her two parents while he and Sherry made efforts to visit as often as they could. It made sense for Sasha to help because Maggie had been running a community _and_ caring for a newborn on her own. Sasha found it pertinent to provide assistance where she could.

He meandered around Alexandria's new outlines as large metal beams were starting to go up. With the growing boundary, forty more homes would be included in the safe zone. Some houses had some wear and tear to them from four years of neglect but the ones with too much destruction would be torn down by the construction crews and then replaced with various crops of vegetation or barns with livestock.

Dwight walked down one new street as his eyes kept on glancing towards one of the smaller homes in the entire Alexandrian neighborhood. He recognized that particular house. It was the same house where he, Carol, Aaron, and Daryl made an explosive next to that put an abrupt end to the grenade battle with the Saviors. He remembered encouraging Carol and Aaron to wade out the rest of the fight inside the home as all the Saviors would begin to retreat soon after.

Stepping right in front of it, Dwight stopped and placed a hand on the white picket fence while observing it from thirty feet away. From the outside, he could already tell the roof needed to be fixed and supposed there was some water damage because of it. One window was broken but Earl had an extension of his blacksmith shop where workers knew how to fix it easily enough.

Curious, Dwight opened the gate and walked up to the house. From the looks of it on the outside, the front was directly between both ends of the home with two matching windows on each side. Under each window were wooden flower beds and over the small front porch was a pergola with dead outgrowing vines overtaking the wooden trellis leading up to it. Dwight knew that would have to be fixed and maintained but knew Sherry would like the feature if he gave the trellis a fresh coat of white paint so it wouldn't look run down.

He then opened the front door and took a deep breath. As he predicted when seeing the two front windows, there were two large rooms on each side of the main entrance that were used for different occasions. In the main entrance were stairs that lead to an upstairs that Dwight could see from the outside but knew it was a small living space. Beside the stairs was a hallway that lead to Dwight presumed to be more rooms.

To his left was a decent sized living room area with a built in entertainment center that was wall-to-wall. The ceilings didn't look as damaged much to Dwight's surprise. Not surprisingly, the TV that had once been attached to the wall was missing as he assumed looters cleaned the place out long ago. He wasn't particularly worried as he knew where to find another if he felt the need for it. The living area was carpeted but again was stunned at how nice it appeared.

Crossing over the main entrance to the other side of the house, he saw a spacious kitchen with an equal sized dining room. The large table from the previous owners remained where it had been before. From the size of the small house and the large main rooms, Dwight could deduce that whoever lived there before had been a small family but enjoyed entertaining others.

Dwight walked up the stairs to see a wooden loft with wall-to-wall windows on all sides to overlook the outside. It almost reminded him of a lighthouse or a lookout point. Beneath the windows were three foot tall bookcases that encircled the entire space. _Sherry would like all the space for her books,_ he thought and smiled at the concept.

He went back downstairs to look down the hallway where one small bedroom and bathroom was. There was a larger master bedroom with an adjoining bathroom as well but by the time Dwight saw that part of the house, he had already been sold. It was perfect.

…

"Well it's structurally sound enough," Tobin began, "Roof will need to be replaced, new roof vents, caulking repair. I'll put in an order for the new front window along with the other houses that are being renovated. Have anything to trade for that?"

"Tell Earl that I am collecting almost every album created," Dwight offered, "If he's been missing a song, I'll try and find it."

"Same goes for me," Tobin responded and handed him a list. Dwight took a glance and saw the list of musicians with the band Creedence Clearwater Revival as number one, "I forgot to add that Carol has been craving some Carpenters music as well."

"Consider it done," Dwight said with a grin as they both shook hands, "Do you do special requests on home renovations?"

"It'll cost extra," Tobin answered honestly, "Construction has been a high commodity lately. What do you need?"

"A deeper bathtub in the master bathroom?" Dwight inquired, "Teach me to install it and I can scavenge whatever you want."

"La-z-boy," Tobin said before Dwight even finished his sentence, "Hilltop had one when we were there for Carol's side injury. Slept like a baby on that."

"Sure thing," Dwight agreed, "If you need anything else, let me know. What you're doing for me shouldn't be paid with _just_ an armchair and a couple of albums though."

"It's the simple things in life, isn't it?" Tobin replied as they both walked out of the house, "But I guess if I think of something else, I'll let you know."

…

Megan decided to visit Alexandria for a long weekend with her friends. Taking a wagon ride with the supplies being driven from one location to the next, she didn't mind the extra stops they took to unload any trades that each community had to offer. With a pistol on her hip, she became an extra pair of eyes to be on the lookout for walkers that could spring onto the road at any given time.

Their last stop before Alexandria was the ammunitions factory. The driver of the wagon rang a bell to indicate that he was waiting and they had ten minutes to hitch a ride or wait for another mode of transportation to head their way. Megan smiled at the man who tended to the horses as the sense of adventure stirred within her. Since their fuel was running low, they had to figure out new ways to power their things. To her, wagons felt very much like the computer game _Oregon Trail._ Like the new frontier, the wagons brought a future full of promise and hope for something better. Megan had a way of looking at the brighter side of things even if her anxieties threatened to break through at inconvenient moments. Regardless, she had to remind herself that she was still alive and that every day she had was something special.

Only one person emerged from the ammunition factory as he walked while burying his face into a novel. She remembered his name being Eugene and could recognize his dark brown mullet anywhere. Upon conversations that she had with him before, she knew him to be quite a character and rather intelligent even if it came across as somewhat pretentious at times. Despite him seeming awkward to most, Megan always enjoyed his company and saw that he was genuine to who he truly was.

Taking his gaze away from his book to climb into the wagon, he did a double take when seeing Megan. His face immediately reddened as he took a seat and ignored her altogether. Intrigued by his reaction, Megan made a light giggle just as the wagon began to tread onwards to Alexandria. She was shy by nature but could read when someone appeared to be just as extroverted as she was. Already feeling livened by helping with the supply runs, she felt brave enough to approach Eugene in conversation more so than she would have any other day.

Finding a seat on the wagon floor beside Eugene, he pretended that she wasn't there and continued to read his book. Megan nearly blushed at his indifference and started to feel self-conscience as if she had done something wrong in the past to merit the cold shoulder. On the verge of already giving up and feeling that her bravery had been spent, she began to scoot over as Eugene looked up slightly dumbfounded.

"Do I have something on my face?" Eugene asked getting straight to the point of his agitation.

Surprised that he was thinking she was only there to chastise him about a minor thing, she shook her head and turned beet red. "No, I...um… just wanted to ask what you are reading."

"You wanted to ask what I was reading?" He repeated while remaining unconvinced.

"I saw you walking towards the wagon and you didn't even glance up until seconds before you hopped in," Megan reasoned, "Figured that whatever you were reading must have been really good."

Eugene considered what she said before answering. Instead of saying anything, he closed his book and handed it to her but Megan still noticed that his posture appeared stiff and uninviting.

Megan studied the book that he had given her. " _Living Off the Grid_ by Dave Black," she read from the front cover, "Are you the one that's coming up with all these ideas for us?"

"Well, they are not devised from my own expertise," Eugene admitted, "I just read books about it and show others how to implement it in their day-to-day life."

"I wouldn't discredit yourself," Megan replied while thumbing through the pages, "You are like the resident specialist when it comes to a lot of things that we use. I think it's really great."

His shoulders seemed to relax from her compliment and he almost smirked. She hadn't ever really seen Eugene smile before but like everything else, it seemed genuine.

"Megan, right?" Eugene asked.

She nodded. "And you're Eugene."

"That I am," Eugene responded with more warmth than she had grown used to from him, "Heading to Alexandria?"

"Just for a few days," Megan answered kindly, "Thought I could use a vacation."

"Sounds nice," Eugene remarked.

"What about you?" Megan inquired, "You ever go to the other communities just to get away?"

"I go to other communities because people want me to fix a gidget of theirs," Eugene replied with melancholy as Megan immediately sensed some bit of resentment with it.

"I'm sure they are thankful for your help," Megan tried to console but gave him a little smile with apology, "I'm sorry that your job is thankless."

"I shouldn't complain," Eugene mumbled.

Megan was unsure of what to say to make him feel better. Instead she looked down at the book that he had been reading and knew of at least one way to lift his spirits.

"I'm staying at Barbara's house when I am in Alexandria," Megan started, "I brought some movies with me if you would like to come over sometime to watch them with us. I would love the extra company."

Eugene glanced up and furrowed his eyebrows. "Do you need help hooking the television up to power?"

"No, I'm pretty sure that's already taken care of," Megan established.

"What movies will you be watching?" Eugene then questioned. Megan was realizing that he could be a hard sell when he wanted to be.

"I brought _Fifth Element, Beetlejuice, Pulp Fiction,_ and _Aliens,_ " Megan clarified, "I don't know what kind of movies you were into before but…"

" _Aliens,"_ Eugene quickly said, "It's been awhile since I watched that one but I think I can still quote it word for word."

Megan beamed and knew she got him to be a part of the fun night. She hated to see when someone felt left out. And he of all people deserved a friend. She felt as if she desperately needed one as well and felt his personality almost attracted hers and vice versa. It was definitely something she looked forward to - which was a feeling she hadn't experienced in a long time.

…

Sherry glanced through all the layouts as Rick and Carol were working on various things in Deanna's house. It was the first real spring day of the year as they kept a window open to let the warm air inside. Judith was playing with toys on the living room floor while the adults went about their business.

"This lot," Sherry said and pointed at it for Carol to see, "That house can be torn down and we could easily put two greenhouses there. It was one of the bigger houses anyways."

"And it's right next to the reservoir," Carol said quietly to herself in thought, "Would be easy to water what we have growing in there."

"That's what I was thinking," Sherry agreed, "Then this house can be renovated for the water mill next to the dam. Eugene has plans as to what that mill powers, right?"

"Eugene just says it'll even out the power source so we don't use everything up from our solar panels," Rick explained, "Even though our panels can power Alexandria easily, we are expanding. Eugene wants any heavy duty power uses to be run by the dam so personal homes and industry aren't competing with each other."

"Do we have a layout of the houses that are fitting within our new boundaries?" Sherry asked him.

"Not yet," Carol responded for him, "Tobin is checking on all the homes and which ones are livable or not. When he's finished with that, we'll have all that information available."

"Sounds great," Sherry said and looked at all the future plans for Alexandria. Already, the community was better equipped to be independent unlike Sanctuary that required taxing from the get-go. She was proud to be involved with everything that their home was building. It fulfilled her so much more than anything had in their new world.

The front door opened as Dwight walked through into the living room followed by Tobin. The three-year-old Judith quickly stood up and raced towards Dwight while he opened his arms wide to pick her up. Sherry glanced up and smiled at the sight knowing that Dwight fit the title of everyone's favorite uncle very well. He carried Judith over his shoulder as she laughed uproariously and meandered towards the dining room table where all their work was placed.

"Working hard?" Dwight asked while Judith continued to laugh. He pretended to ignore her as if nothing was out of the ordinary but smiled to Sherry with a wink.

"Put me down!" Judith exclaimed delightedly as Dwight didn't need to be asked twice and placed her on the ground. She gave his leg a hug and then returned to playing with her toys.

"Yeah, we're just establishing _what_ goes _where,_ " Sherry told as she kept looking at the plans to double check if they were correct. "Later tonight, I'm going to get a house count of our new boundaries just to guesstimate for future group arrivals and which houses would be best for them."

"Uh…" Dwight started and placed his hand over hers across the table, "I actually need to talk to you about that."

Sherry raised an eyebrow and peered at him skeptically. "What?" She questioned.

"If I asked you to promise me that you won't go towards the new boundaries, would you do it?" Dwight inquired with some worry, "Just trust me."

"Why?" Sherry pressed further.

"Just trust me," Dwight repeated back hopefully.

Sherry took a deep breath while having a difficult time letting go of a project that she was enthusiastic to tackle. There was so much land to sort through for the community that she was determined to stay in the loop and on top of things.

"We'll give you blueprints and layouts of the new area to help you stay informed," Dwight assured as if reading her mind, "I promise you that in return."

"As well as the amount of bedrooms in each house and floor plan sizes?" Sherry quizzed.

"Yeah, you'll receive all of that," Dwight assured, "Do we have a deal?"

Sherry groaned but stuck her hand out for him to shake on it. "Fine," she relented as he beamed. "Am I going to know why I can't go over there?"

"Eventually," Dwight said cryptically and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, "I have to get back to my shift on the wall. I just wanted to stop by and say hello."

"Well, hello," Sherry answered and grinned, "You have been making that a habit to come say hello every day."

"Does it bother you?" Dwight asked almost nervous.

"No," Sherry clarified, "It's welcome anytime."

"Oh, good," Dwight uttered before stepping around the table then guiding her to the hallway away from everyone else. Slipping a hand underneath her jacket to feel her bare back, Dwight brought his body closer to hers and planted a deeper kiss on her lips, "I really love you, Sherry."

"I know," Sherry assured and kissed him back while enjoying the mood he was in, "I love you too."

Dwight moaned briefly at what Sherry said and held her face with both of his hands. "You know all I ever want to do is make you happy."

"You'll be glad to know that you're succeeding," Sherry revealed in a low whisper and kissed him one more time then took a long sigh, "But I have some work to do."

"I should probably get back to the wall as well," Dwight said regrettably, "Can I see you sometime tonight?"

"Of course you can," Sherry consented, "I'll see you after my work is done."

"I'll be done around dinner," Dwight said and reluctantly took his hands off her body to walk out of the house.

Sherry shook her head while watching him stride away then took a deep breath to get ahold of herself once more. Before entering the dining room, she looked into a hallway mirror to see if her face gave it away that she had been messing around with Dwight. Fortunately for her, she appeared somewhat normal and went back to business.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 _March 18, 2014_

Sherry started the water and waited for it to warm up while unclothing herself. With the door already locked and Yolanda in the living room downstairs, she felt safe enough to be in what she considered a vulnerable position.

She woke up feeling antsy that day. Perhaps it was because the dark clouds in the sky or the nightmare that frequented her thoughts in her sleep. Whatever the case, it made her feel an emptiness that hadn't been around since she lived in Sanctuary.

Tugging at the shower curtain, she froze dead in her tracks when she heard muffled male voices in the nearby distance. Yolanda promised that no one would come into the home until Sherry herself was the one to answer the door. She knew Yolanda would keep her word even if it sounded like an odd request.

No, it wasn't just any random voice. She could feel her blood run deathly cold as the deep voice could be heard even over the shower. The voice was so evidently _him_ that it was enough for her heart to cease beating.

Placing her back on the wall of the bathroom, she had to look in all directions to see if she was hallucinating but also to see every vantage point. She saw no one but the voices continued. Fighting for breath, she panted in a hasty manner as cold sweat already emerged from every pore on her face.

The fear was debilitating. Flashbacks of Negan popped into her head as he often towered over her in the shower and raped her as she was pressed against him and the cold tiles. The memory made her visibly squint while remembering the physical pain.

She counted to ten but still heard the voices after. Worried that the vivid flashback would never go away, she then remembered the particular day and time. Every Monday and Thursday were Negan's shower privilege days where he would occupy the bathroom that was only a wall away from Deanna's condominium.

Breathing slowly, she tried to remember that she was safe. He could in no way reach through the wall and tiles to grab her. _It's just the bad memories you're thinking of,_ Sherry reminded herself, _He can't step into your shower even if he wanted to._

She contemplated turning off her shower water but stubbornly kept it going. Leaving the bathroom indicated failure. He had already taken so much from her. The idea of bathing at the same time that he did made her stomach twist but she never wanted to be inconvenienced by him even if the idea seemed torturous.

Bracing herself, she stepped into the warm water with hopes that the shower head would drown out all other sounds but she could still hear Negan and what sounded like Miguel in the other room. Whether it was her body on high alert or the walls being paper thin, she could hear specifically what they were saying. Deciding it was a good thing, she knew it was a way she could keep tabs on what they were saying and if Miguel's tone gave her any cause of alarm.

"Just hurry this shit up," Miguel complained, "We all have jobs to do other than watching you shower so do your thing and we'll be on with our day."

"Jesus, sounds like Rick is keeping you busy," Negan muttered back as Sherry could hear the humor in his voice, "Like being Rick's little errand boy?"

"Better than being yours, motherfucker," Miguel replied, "Just take your shower."

"Not going to leave me alone?" Negan asked.

"We got rules," Miguel reminded, "While you're out of your cell, no leaving the prisoner alone at any time."

"Very efficient, aren't we?" Negan teased.

Sherry began to wash her hair while glad the conversation ceased on the other side of the wall. When it seemed like she could breathe again, she jumped at the sound of Negan starting to sing loudly in the shower.

" _Well, you know that I'm a wicked guy  
And I was born with a jealous mind  
And I can't spend my whole life  
Trying just to make you toe the line_

 _I'd rather see you dead, little girl  
Than to be with another man  
You better keep your head, little girl  
Or you won't know where I am."_

Sherry just stared at the wall that separated her and her ex-husband as if she could see through solid objects. What he sang shook her. She knew his words to be true and the fact that such lyrics were stuck in his head on loop wasn't merely a coincidence. Touching the large scar on her side from when Negan shot her, she listened to him whistling the tune as she then felt her shoulder blade which bore the mark of his own initials carved into her skin. Looking down at her body, - which all of a sudden felt grimy - she couldn't think of one body part that he hadn't touched before. It had been almost exactly a year since they last shared a bed with each other. Yet as she heard him closeby, the wounds felt fresh and poignant.

She sat on the shower floor and put her head on the wall as water cascaded down her face. Holding her knees up to her chest, she just zoned out with her eyes shut while hearing Negan sing. He was so close. Terrifyingly close.

Whether she was a masochist or too scared to move, Sherry merely sat there in the shower while letting fear take over. It killed her to hear him or be near him at all.

So she sat under the pouring water and waited until he was finished. When she heard his shower turn off and her water pressure get higher, she then heard him converse with Miguel about towels and then Miguel complain on how slow Negan was to get moving.

They left as Sherry stayed in the bathroom while hot tears stung her eyes. _You are stronger than this,_ Sherry chastised to herself, _You are past him and have moved on._

…

After her anything-but-relaxed shower, Sherry walked towards Carol's house as they were going to discuss homes that were scheduled to be demolished that day.

They had a busy week ahead of them. It consisted of a lot of communication with Tobin and a newcomer named Siddiq as they had to know which houses were staying and which ones were going. Then it was getting seeds to be planted, assigning crops, making sure the crops were growing the way they should, and then moving forward to fix homes that needed some improvement.

On top of all that, she wasn't allowed in the new part of Alexandria much to her dismay. However, she made a promise to Dwight that she wouldn't step a foot in the new boundary. Whether he deemed it too dangerous or something else, her curiosity was nevertheless peaked.

Knocking on Carol's door, she waited for someone to answer. Hearing some noise, Sherry watched as Carol peered through a window before opening the door then heard the lock jiggle before the woman smiled at her with greeting.

"You are earlier than I anticipated," Carol said warmly and opened the door wider to let Sherry inside.

"Hope I didn't catch you at a bad time," Sherry apologized while carrying a few binders in her arms. Seeing the laundry baskets and piles of clothes that were strewn around the living room, Sherry's shoulders slouched as she looked to Carol behind her. "I _did_ catch you at a bad time."

"Do you think I have all of these clothes _just_ for two people?" Carol joked while walking past Sherry with a smirk, "These are all extra clothes that will go to our small donation store to get new families back on their feet."

"Oh," Sherry replied with a little more enthusiasm, "Would you mind if I helped? What do you need me to do?"

"If you would be a part of the folding brigade, then that would help me get a good start on ironing," Carol offered happily and walked to the corner of the room where an ironing board was situated with an electrical iron already plugged in.

Sherry eyes were instantly glued onto the iron while immediately zoning out from the present. Carol said something to which sounded as if she was thirty feet away but Sherry knew she was standing right next to her. Physically shaking her head, she pulled herself out of the daze and came up for breath.

"I'm so sorry," Sherry whispered and looked to Carol, "What were you saying?"

Carol didn't continue her thought and instead studied Sherry's countenance with question, "You look pale, Sherry. Are you sure that you don't want to take a day to stay home?"

Sherry thought about her neighbor that lived incarcerated in the basement and shook her head vehemently. "No!" she exclaimed, "I'm okay, I just need to work and keep my mind busy. That's what I want to do."

Watching her with skepticism, Carol seemed highly unconvinced. Sherry avoided her gaze and sat on a La-Z-Boy chair to begin folding laundry. Carol was one of the people that knew things without it being said. It unearthed Sherry's darkest secrets. Secrets that Sherry herself didn't even want to discover or define.

"I do have Tobin's shirts to sort through first," Carol started finally as Sherry took a deep breath to relax knowing the older woman was finally off her back, "He has been complaining about the wrinkles for weeks but hasn't gotten around to fixing them because of all the construction going on."

She sprayed some water on a button-down shirt and nonchalantly pressed the iron down while the heat made a screeching noise when it came into contact with the material. Clutching the shirt that she picked up to fold, the sound made Sherry's eyes squint. She immediately felt the need to throw up.

Carol continued ironing Tobin's shirt as she spoke about whatever topic that seemed important to her. Sherry knew it could be something about the community and that she should be paying attention but her eyes were drawn towards the iron. Steam billowed up in a frenzy as she heard thunder in the distance. Looking at Carol to see if she paid attention, she noticed that Carol's appearance seemed hazy to her. Staring at the entire area around her almost felt like she was surrounded by a fog. As if floating away from Alexandria, Sherry lost touch with reality and could smell the rain combined with melted flesh.

Someone touched her as she saw Negan in front of her staring madly into her eyes and shook her violently. "Sherry!" he shouted in her face. When she looked down, she saw Dwight's badly beaten body and freshly scarred cheek as he laid on the ground. She felt cold and distant from everything. She didn't know how she came to be where she was but regardless of _how_ it happened, Negan was _with_ her.

He grabbed her and held her close as she fought him away. The scent of him all over her body made her feel exposed and violated all over again. His eyes burning into her soul left her feeling seared and broken. The fear she had of him while she was in Sanctuary returned. Whatever progress she thought had been made spiraled away and she was only left with Negan.

"Sherry!" Negan yelled at her again but something in his tone made it seem like he was stressed about something! "Sherry," came the voice again but seemed soft spoken and terrified. Sherry began looking around as her surroundings seemed foggy once more. Negan disappeared as she was left all alone. "Sherry?" She heard Negan ask but his voice didn't sound like him anymore. It sounded like Carol's. "You need to snap out of it, okay?"

Blinking several times, she started panting as if she ran a marathon and brought her hands to her knees to catch a breath. Carol walked up to her slowly with arms folded. "Sherry, honey, it's Carol. Do you know where you are?"

"I... don't…" Sherry started but shook her head. She knew she was in Alexandria but the fear of another location remained. _Something_ changed in her mindset. Alexandria changed in some way. _Negan!_ Sherry started to breathe fast as she paced Carol's living room. "We have to tell Rick!"

"Sherry, you need to calm down!" Carol stressed with her hands out in near surrender, "I already yelled for Tobin to go find Dwight for you, okay?"

"What?!" Sherry uttered and started towards the front door, "Dwight can't be around me. He'll be hurt!" 

"Sherry, do you understand what you are saying right now?" Carol questioned, "Whatever happened in my house was something that wasn't real."

"No, it happened," Sherry responded back, "I know it did! Negan is out, someone didn't lock his door! He was here! I saw him!"

"Sherry!"

She heard Dwight's voice and began to wail when she saw him running towards her with Tobin following behind. She started in the other direction to avoid Dwight but became shocked that he kept advancing despite the danger that his actions entailed.

"Stop!" Sherry warned with a broken heart, "You need to get away from me!"

"Sher, what happened?" Dwight asked, "Are you okay?"

Shaking her head, her chin quivered as she folded her arms but continued to walk towards Deanna's house where Alexandria's prison resided nearby. Reality started to crash back into her thought process but she violently slapped the side of her head multiple times to stay on top of her main priority.

"Hey, cut it out," Dwight insisted and grabbed her hand so she wouldn't hit herself again, "What do you need? I can help you!"

"I need to find him," Sherry stumbled over her words as she recognized how ludicrous it sounded, "He escaped and... I... need to find him. He'll kill you!"

"Sherry, I don't understand what you are trying to say," Dwight said slowly but followed her, "Who?"

"Where... is... he?" Sherry asked while hyperventilating.

"Where is who?" Dwight questioned. "Please tell me what's going on?"

Taking a deep breath, she began to remember what actually happened. She walked into Carol's living room to find the older woman was ironing Tobin's shirts. The surreal occurred after but it all seemed so physically complex that she was positive that it couldn't have been a dreamlike sequence. She had just endured a flashback. One of the first in what felt like a very long time.

Instantly forming a headache, the urgency vanished but the fear remained. The helpless fear. Stumbling to the ground in the middle of Alexandria, she felt wiped out of all energy as she just sat in the middle of the street. Carol and Tobin stood nearby as they both had pity in their eyes. Working as her protectors, they told everyone gathering around to kindly keep walking and leave her be.

Embarrassment soon took over as her face reddened from all the stares. It had been so long since she focused on all the pain that took hold of her life for as long as it had. She gave into all of it after just the sight of an iron.

"Sherry, let's take you home, okay?" Dwight suggested calmly.

He began to reach for her but Sherry stood up on her own and began stepping away. "No, I'm fine. I really don't need you trying to fix my problems. I can figure this out on my own."

Her voice sounded cold and distant but she didn't want to bring him into something that could be solely taken care of. She didn't want to rely on him for anything. She had been alone for so long that bringing him into something to only feel weighed down by her past seemed like a wrong step.

"I didn't say that you couldn't figure whatever out on your own," Dwight argued gently and followed behind her, "I only said you don't have to be by yourself."

"Stop doing that," Sherry groaned in irritation.

"Doing what?" Dwight asked with almost an annoyed voice.

"You just want to fix everything!" Sherry complained, "I don't need you to fix me! I'm fine!"

"You do the same for me, Sher," Dwight remarked with a biting tone, "Don't be a hypocrite."

"Excuse me?" Sherry asked as hot tears began to fall. They walked away from the group of people that still lingered as Sherry was glad for the solitude they had to speak candidly with each other. "Just because I want to be left alone doesn't make me a hypocrite, Dwight. It just means that I don't need you to try and help me. I can do it myself!"

"I didn't say you couldn't," Dwight grumbled, "What do you want me to do?"

"Go back to work," Sherry said but even as she said it, she still had to look over her shoulder to see if Negan was around.

"I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone," Dwight declared with arms folded.

"That's not up to you," Sherry clipped, "Stop trying to control the situation. It's not yours to control."

"Where the hell is this coming from, Sherry?" Dwight questioned with his nostrils beginning to flare, "I haven't done anything to try and control you. Just give me something to understand. I know what Negan has done is still being sorted out. Let me help you."

"You wouldn't get it," Sherry muttered while shouldering past him.

"What wouldn't I get, Sherry?" Dwight challenged back, "I have zero way of understanding how Negan could hurt someone? Is that what I will have a problem understanding in some way? Don't discredit my pain because it's different than yours."

Sherry felt the sting and it was clear that Dwight knew the weight of his words the second that he said them. Closing his eyes he put a hand to his face and rubbed his scar which made her feel worse. "I didn't mean it like that," he said in a low voice.

"No, it's not your fault," Sherry said while backing away, "I… I need to clear my head. Away from you and away from everyone else."

Dwight watched her disappear behind a house as she hurriedly escaped the scene. Glancing towards Alexandria's prison then back to where he last saw Sherry, he took a couple of deep breaths and kicked the side of the empty house that stood beside him. Angry at his inability to reach out to her and her walls that still remained up, he walked back towards the wall to finish his shift as he understood that both he and Sherry needed time to cool off.

One thing he knew for sure was that he _never_ wanted to be on Sherry's bad side ever again.

…

Judith was nestled in Christy's arms after a long day of play. They spent the whole afternoon creating art on the sidewalk with chalk that had been found at an old elementary school. Judith danced on the chalk and loved the designs Christy created for her specifically as she requested several animals that they read about in library books.

After giving Judith a bath, they made a small dinner for three as Carl joined before following his dad around with this or that. The teenager was quiet but seemed to appreciate Christy's presence which pleased her immensely. She knew that if anyone had the approval of Carl, they automatically had the approval of Rick. Not sure why she strived for his acceptance, she was glad all the same.

As Judith slept on her chest, there was a knock at the door. She turned to see Rick peering through the glass as he saw her gesture to let himself in. When he opened the door, he stopped at the sight of Christy and Judith on the couch then smiled.

"If you think it would be easier to keep her here for the night instead of moving her, I don't mind," Christy solved knowing that waking a toddler up could mean she would be awake for hours.

"I couldn't ask that if you," Rick answered politely and sat beside Christy leaving a small distance between them.

"It's no trouble, Rick," Christy said quietly. "She's very even-tempered. Her company doesn't bother me at all." Judith stirred in her sleep and turned her head to rest on Christy's other shoulder. "I insist."

"I can stay here in case she wakes up," Rick said to find a middle ground, "She's my own, I shouldn't put you out if she wakes up at night."

Christy liked the idea of him staying at her house so she didn't oppose. "Fine, you can sleep here on the couch."

"Really?" Rick asked not knowing she would accept the idea.

"Mi casa es su casa," Christy joked and stroked her hair. "Pretty dark curls this one has."

Rick watched as Christy continued to relax with a toddler in her arms. "Yeah, she got that from her mom."

"I'm sorry she passed," Christy said with sincerity. "That must have been difficult with two children."

"I didn't know how to process it," Rick answered, "I wasn't really around for the first couple of months that she was alive. I was trying to avoid some responsibilities and absorbed myself in other things."

"The denial is understandable," Christy agreed. "When my husband died I was just in shock. It took a long time for me to accept it."

"I didn't know you were married," Rick commented.

Christy smiled. "He was a good man."

"Did you have kids?" Rick asked but then furrowed his brows as if he didn't think before opening his mouth. "I'm sorry, that was a…"

"Don't worry, I didn't," Christy confirmed, "We wanted to though."

They sat in the dim light of Christy's house that she used to share with Sasha before she moved to Hilltop temporarily to live near Maggie and Hershel. Now she felt it was more empty than she wanted it to be and craved the company that Rick was now giving her.

Christy looked down and smiled at Judith's angelic face. "Some faces that she makes during the day… I swear, she got those facial expressions from you. A spittin' image of her dad."

Rick snorted and folded his arms in disbelief but looked to Christy with one eyebrow raised. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"She may have gotten those dark curls from her momma but this girl is all yours," Christy said confidently.

Christy wasn't sure what was going on in Rick's head but his eyes read that some clarity was shining through in whatever fog had overcome him. A sense of peace followed as he looked to Judith in a new light then looked to Christy with gratitude.

He leaned over and kissed Christy on the cheek as her eyes widened with surprise. What shocked her was the way her body responded to the affection as she leaned in immediately after to kiss him again. Without fear if he would reciprocate it or not, she planted a kiss to on his lips as he sank into the much needed passion that she effortlessly gave.

Remembering that Judith was still in Christy's arms, she stopped the kiss almost as soon as it began while her face became every shade of red. Rick chuckled at her reaction and sat back with a satisfied exhale.

Loving the sense of newness that came with Rick, she smirked and kissed Judith on the forehead to express the joy she felt. _Nice try, Negan,_ Christy thought, _Can't hold me down forever._

…

Dwight had looked everywhere in Alexandria for Sherry and couldn't find her. He looked in the new area that he made her swear not to go around. He even searched the entire house that he was building for her but she had vanished into thin air. As he began to worry if she went to another community without someone knowing her whereabouts, he glanced up to the watch tower knowing it was the last place that he was going to check before he went completely insane.

He walked up the many flights of stairs but as he didn't hear any noise from above, he became dismayed that perhaps she wasn't up there after all. He arrived at the top of the tower to see Sherry sitting next to the opening that their snipers used as a lookout and shoot walkers from above.

"You okay?" Dwight asked and took a seat on the floor on the opposite of the open lookout space.

Sherry looked as if she were in her own other world and said nothing. For several minutes, he just sat and waited for her when she was ready. When she continued to stay silent, he figured he should begin the conversation from his perspective.

"I remember...the night when Negan first showed up," Dwight began, "I remember before he walked into our camp thinking that we could make what we had work. Despite everything that changed in a short amount of time, I believed we could figure something out. I _still_ believe we can. But now it's just like jumping over thousands of hurdles to get to that point, isn't it?"

Sherry only listened as Dwight continued. "Nothing that I did before seemed right. Every step I took just felt conflicted. I still can't make any sense of it. But the more time I have had away from Sanctuary, the more I realize it wasn't anyone's fault except Negan's."

Sherry stiffened at the sound of his name. He pressed on while unraveling all of his thoughts out loud. "Carson had his brother to protect. Do we blame him for the things he has done? What about Christy? Does she deserve any blame? So why are we putting so much blame on ourselves for a situation that we couldn't control?

"There are so many things I wish never happened, Sher," Dwight muttered in the quietness. "I keep on entertaining the idea...the fantasy… What if we never ran into Sanctuary? What if we were without all the burdens that we are facing now? But then I wonder if thinking about the 'what-if's' too much makes me avoid the reality too often. Am I putting off what I need to do to make our lives better because I refuse to acknowledge what's right in front of me?"

Sherry stayed quiet as he continued to express what was on his mind. "I have a lot of failures. It's difficult to think about all of them. I could have prevented a lot more than I did. A lot sooner than I did. I see when you're hurt because of things in the past. It hurts me to know I could have stopped it."

"Dwight, what happened to me wasn't your fault," Sherry assured softly.

"I could have fought harder," Dwight said bitterly. "That night after this happened," he gestured towards his face, "I was there at his house when he…"

"Dwight..." Sherry said as her voice broke with grief.

Tears stung his eyes at the memory and as he blinked, they fell down his face effortlessly. He sniffled while trying to collect himself. "I was so beat up from earlier… I didn't _want_ to give up but all I could do was sit there tied to a fucking chair. And to know that shit continued even more after… I felt so helpless."

Sherry began to say something but was overcome with sadness that a sob broke from her lips. Her chin quivered before a wave of tears overflowed as she hastily wiped them away from her cheeks. "I didn't know you were there."

Dwight nodded as he reached for a cigarette but thought better of it because Sherry wasn't fond of the smell. "I didn't _want_ you to know."

Sherry wasn't exactly sure how to process it but surprisingly didn't feel violated knowing that he was close enough to hear every detail that happened when Negan first touched her. Shuddering at the memory she saw Dwight was looking at her as he bit his lip in thought.

"He was definitely a person who tried to get his point across," Sherry stated sadly. "I'm sorry that you had to go through that."

Dwight let out a pained laugh and put a hand to his forehead while shaking it back and forth. "This is why I didn't want to tell you."

"Why?" Sherry questioned.

" _You_ don't have to be sorry that I heard you being taken advantage of. _You_ were the one who was hurt."

"And you _weren't_?" Sherry challenged. "Dwight, he was toying with you knowing that he had all the power. You have the right to be just as hurt as I was."

Dwight said nothing as it felt wrong to agree with her. What she endured may not have been the same as his own trials, but he felt as if she received the bad end of things.

"You were just as much a victim as I was, Dwight," Sherry said, "You had just as much control as I did. You can't be blamed for what happened."

"It's just hard," Dwight lamented, "After it happened I replayed it over and over in my head. I didn't want to. It was just _there._ I thought every time I killed someone that I was preventing it from happening again. That my actions were justified in a way."

"What did you think was going on with me and Negan?" Sherry thought out loud with curiosity as she knew Negan sleeping with her was _very_ public knowledge in Sanctuary. "Did you think…?"

"As stupid as it sounds, yes," Dwight replied knowing what he question eluded to. "I thought you found a way to be happy with him. He made it seem that way too. And I couldn't even blame you for it."

"It's not stupid to say because I _tried,"_ Sherry revealed quietly. "I tried to pretend that what we had wasn't surrounded with all the red flags. But I couldn't forget. I just remembered everything he did to you when I was on the brink of losing myself to him. It's so hard to breakaway from that mindset of complacency though."

"I hear ya on that," Dwight said quietly.

"I put so much blame on myself…" Sherry whispered. "Negan kept on saying that someone would pay if I stepped out of line and I started to believe him. At a point, I felt like I was holding everyone together. Just standing in the middle of him and the people I cared about."

"To protect everyone," Dwight rephrased for her.

Sherry took a deep breath and sighed loudly. "It's been so hard," she repeated from what he said earlier. "I thought getting out of Sanctuary would make it easier. Does that makes sense?"

"Because we're back in a normal life, our memories feel like a contradiction on how we _should_ be feeling, right?" Dwight asked. Sherry seemed surprised that he knew exactly what she was experiencing and responded with a ghost of a smile.

They stayed where they were while getting every emotion off their chest. As difficult as it was to talk about the memories that plagued them daily, it was therapeutic to speak about it as well. The lump in Sherry's throat continued to be present in their conversation but a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. To be candid with Dwight about her personal demons was liberating. She hoped Dwight felt the same.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 _March 26, 2014_

Sherry waited at the Mitchell's front door with cookies in hand. She knew that Yolanda was at the infirmary and that Jenna was also at school. When the door opened, Sherry wasn't surprised to see Kevin greet her with a smile on his face.

"What a pleasant surprise this is!" Kevin exclaimed and opened the door wider for her to come inside, "I take it you know my family is out and about."

"I do," Sherry replied and walked past him into the house, "I'm actually here to see you."

Kevin nodded with a grin and strode towards his kitchen. "I'm sure that you're aware that you aren't the only one with observation skills."

"I'm sure the episode I had a week before tipped you off as well," Sherry joked while glad their friendly banter never faded even if it had been nearly over a year since she spoke with him in a therapeutic setting.

"I don't like to assume much but I take it that's why you're here now, correct?" Kevin questioned.

Sherry nodded while not expecting the silent tears that followed. "Um… I just need to clear my head again…"

"If you don't mind me asking, why did you stop seeing me? You had plenty of time to converse with me on your visits to Alexandria. Did you feel you were at a place where you found peace?"

"I guess I thought I could sort through stuff myself," Sherry replied already knowing the psychological lingo that she associated with Kevin, "And I tried. I really tried doing it on my own."

"You make it sound like my profession inconveniences me," Kevin acknowledged, "A personal trainer isn't put out at their own gym because someone asks them for help. That's their job. Same goes for me."

Sherry sighed and finally gave him the cookies in hand. "I didn't know how else to pay you."

"Usually I form a special trade with others," Kevin said with the cookies in hand, "But in your case, I will make an exception. My services are free to my previous patients from Sanctuary."

"I'll pay with desserts anyways," Sherry responded with a grateful smile. Kevin was truly one of the most genuine people she knew, "Thank you for talking to me."

"Where should we get started?" Kevin questioned and leaned against the counters, "I'm all ears."

…

Dwight stepped through the door as he heard several voices throughout the house as they either giggled or spoke quietly amongst each other. The last time he stepped inside the infirmary was when he was technically Alexandria's prisoner of war for half a day. The distant memory made him grin slightly as he thought of far he had come from such distrust between his now-friends.

"Barbara!" He called as the voices in the other room fell silent.

"Hey, Dwight," Christy answered as she walked into the front hallway of Alexandria's little hospital to greet him. "Is there any reason why you are here? Are you hurt?"

"Oh," Dwight blurted when realizing his presence at a hospital couldn't have more implications than just that, "No, actually. I was wondering if I could talk to you in private for a moment."

"Me?" Christy inquired with an eyebrow raised, "About what?"

"I need a favor," Dwight started but looked around the room to see if they had enough secrecy. Seeing a few Alexandrian's in close proximity, Dwight cleared his throat and looked to Christy expectedly. "If I caught you at a bad time…"

"No, not at all," Christy informed, "I was actually about to start my lunch break with Terri and Yolanda but if they are okay with me leaving…"

"You are fine," Yolanda responded as she poked her head from the kitchen, "We'll just see you in an hour. If you happen to pass the school on your walk, tell Jenna that I'll be home earlier than I usually am." Terri's voice quietly rang from the kitchen as well as Yolanda glanced to her old friend. "I guess let Terri's boys know as well."

"Okay, I will," Christy said with a smile and followed Dwight out the hospital as they walked towards her house, "Alright, I think we're alone now. You going to tell me what's going on?"

Dwight pulled a small ring box out of his pocket as Christy immediately grinned upon knowing what it was. "Well, I'm flattered, but I think I already have a boyfriend."

"Har har," Dwight replied sarcastically, "I need you to do some planning for me."

"What kind of planning?" Christy asked.

"If I escort you outside the walls to get supplies for specific items, would you be able to find things that seem right for a special event?" Dwight inquired.

"Special event?" Christy teased, "Does this special event have a name?"

"I think we both know what kind of special event I'm talking about," Dwight said and rolled his eyes, "Nothing extravagant. Sherry wouldn't like it."

"I have an idea of what she would like," Christy enthused while unable to hide a grin, "Can the rest of our friends tag along? Doing a supply run for something of this magnitude is not a one-woman job."

"Invite whoever you want," Dwight replied with a smile as he looked at the box before putting it back in his pocket, "Just make sure everyone you tell keeps it hush. There is still the possibility that she could reject the whole idea altogether."

"She won't," Christy said confidently.

"Don't get my hopes up," Dwight remarked and took a deep breath.

"Does it feel right?" Christy boldly asked.

Dwight didn't answer at first as he tried to think of when it _didn't_ feel right. The image in his head of him and Sherry slow dancing in the abandoned mansion years ago came into his mind as he knew then and there that his feelings for her delved deeper than simple infatuation. "It always felt right."

"She'll say yes," Christy reiterated her confidence from before and smiled while heading towards the school, "Let me know when you want to do the supply run and I'll take it from there. Give me a date and it'll all be taken care of!"

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, & FACTS -**

 **#1 - And "Shortest Chapter" Award goes to…**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 _April 25, 2014_

Dwight led Sherry towards the new area of Alexandria. Street lights marked their way in the darkness as the hustle from earlier in the day had dwindled down to silence with only crickets chirping in the background. The rain had stopped earlier but left everything to glisten in the moonlight. The scene was completely beautiful. Because Dwight made her promise not to step foot in the new part of their community, Sherry was taking in all the new scenery as all the newly refinished homes seemed to be rekindled with care. They were all quickly filled with new families as each house was now lit up as she could see people through the windows doing one thing or another. It was a peaceful sight to see.

Dwight appeared nervous as he would glance over his shoulder every so often but then turn away suddenly. Sherry could feel his hand getting sweaty with every step that they took and couldn't stop the smile that was forming on her face. Dwight wasn't the kind of person to be anxious about many things but whatever Dwight had planned was something she felt was special.

"You know how difficult my job was to assign people new homes when I wasn't allowed to be in this part of Alexandria before?" Sherry teased.

Dwight smiled. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience," he replied as he guided her down the street. Sherry noticed that they were running out of road before it was cut off by the newly put up wall and looked to him questioningly.

"What are we doing and where are we going?" She asked as she looked up to see him.

He couldn't wipe the smile off of his face as stopped and turned to gaze at her. "Sherry, I know our relationship is complicated," Dwight started. "Do you remember when I told you that I counted myself as being with you since the day we met?"

Sherry nodded as she tried to keep her breathing steady. She knew Dwight well enough to know that he had something big planned.

His heart nearly beat out of his chest as he took both her hands in a gentle manner. He took a moment to pause as he drew her in closer to him and then played with her fingers before intertwining them with his. "I have known you for four years, Sher," he began, "I know that it's complicated but I think we're ready for the next step. But if I'm wrong, then I will wait for when you're ready."

"Dwight…" Sherry whispered as she could already feel tears well up. That always happened when he started going above and beyond the call of duty as her boyfriend.

"Let me finish and then you give whatever answer you need to without any judgment from me," Dwight said and looked down at the gravel road beneath him as he took a deep breath. "You've been hurt before… I know that… But I can prove to you that I will be a better husband for you in _every_ way possible."

Dwight then turned his attention to the house on Sherry's left. As if in her head, she had been counting the houses on the street and knew that all of them had been filled. The house that Dwight showed attention to wasn't on any of her maps that she received from anyone. No one gave her a clue that it was even there. Then she started piecing it all together. _This_ was the reason that Dwight didn't want her around the new part of Alexandria. He did have something planned up his sleeve.

Sherry forced herself to look at the house that Dwight was staring at. He then glanced towards her while her bottom lip started to quiver with emotion and quickly covered her mouth. It wasn't the biggest house in the Alexandrian neighborhood but it fit Sherry's criteria for what she considered a perfect home. It was light blue with dark blue shutters on the front window and a small white pergola roof that stood above the small porch. Dwight put his hand on the white picket fence then opened the gate. Sherry saw the small detail in the form of a sign nailed on the front gate which read, _"Orlich."_

Sherry could barely look at him without her emotions taking over. However, she peered up to him anyways as he gestured for her to walk through the gate. She did so slowly as she absorbed every detail that she could. Not a single plant was overgrown or a brick out of place. "Dwight," Sherry stated in disbelief as she walked up towards the house that had already felt like a home more than anything did since she lived in Chicago.

He quickly walked past her to reach the front door before she did then stopped before he actually opened it then looked to her with longing. "I have several reasons why I think I would be a better husband for you. The first one is that I _want_ to make you happy. Nothing has ever made me more content than when you are happy."

He turned the knob as the door opened slowly. Sherry didn't move at first but took cautious steps into the house. When she caught sight of everything, she covered her face in her hands while the scene took her breath away. Everything was perfect. She was beyond words as she started silently crying into her hands almost refusing to see anything else. Sherry couldn't handle being any more overjoyed than she already was.

Feeling hands gently touch her wrists, Dwight pulled her hands away from her face as she continued to quietly sob. She gazed at Dwight to see him admire her with his own eyes getting watery. "Reason two: the only tears that you cry from anything that I do will be tears like the ones you have now," Dwight said as he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Want to take a tour?" He asked almost jokingly as Sherry laughed slightly but nodded her head.

More tears fell but she followed him as he kept one of her hands in his and led her through the rest of the house. They started in the kitchen which had cream-colored cabinets and a large white farmhouse sink that was parallel to an island in the middle of the room. "This house is one of the smallest of the lot but it does have one of the biggest kitchens. I thought with your job welcoming everyone to Alexandria that having dinners at our house would be the best place," Dwight said but shook his head. "I'm sorry, I'm jumping the gun. Dinners at _your_ house would be the best."

Sherry stayed silent as she looked at the large dark stained table with about ten chairs around it. The dark, rustic wooden floors were a great contrast to the other colors and décor on the wall. "I won't take all of the credit for making this house look as good as it does," Dwight said quickly. "Christy… Barbara helped with the pretty parts of it. She said something about bringing the small town North Carolina style to it."

Dwight continued as walked to the other side of the entrance hallway. "For the past couple of months I have been salvaging pieces of furniture to fix up this house so it was perfect when you first saw it," Dwight explained as Sherry saw their living room space. "I did splurge on the T.V. though."

Sherry looked at the flat screen mounted and surrounded by a built-in entertainment center that was already covered with various books and movies. "I picked up several other things too. If you don't decide to marry me, I'll just hang out here all the time. My all-time favorites are on that wall."

She smiled as she tried to absorb everything. There were two matching couches on the sides of the room with a rug and coffee table in between.

"Reason three," he continued, "we would have fun together hosting and entertaining the people of Alexandria." He guided her down the hallway in between the kitchen and living room. He stopped at one of the three closed doors and looked to her. "Reason four. I will respect my wife. If you ever feel uncomfortable, I will stop what I am doing and try and make you feel better. I will never purposefully take you out of your comfort zone."

With that he opened the door. Sherry walked in and saw a king size bed with white comforters, sheets and pillows. "This is your bedroom," Dwight offered. Sherry looked to him curiously as he leaned against the threshold not taking another step into the room. "We'll share a bedroom when you're ready to."

She looked around the room and saw a lounging chair in the corner next to the window. "That's your own reading nook."

Sherry eyed the master bathroom connected to the bedroom and saw some fairly new work done to the bathtub. Dwight followed her eyes and assumed what she was looking at. "I had help with that one. I remembered you told me that you like the deep bathtubs most so I replaced the one that was in here with one that you would prefer," Dwight explained, "It actually meant I almost had to reconstruct the entire bathroom but I think it turned out alright."

Sherry couldn't believe every effort he went through to make their house the way she always imagined her dream house being. She never even had to tell him most of the details that would go into making the perfect home. He already knew what most of her preferences were without her saying anything.

"The other two doors in this hallway are a bathroom and another bedroom. That's where I'll sleep," Dwight conveyed, "The bathroom is also a laundry room."

Sherry walked out of the room and saw Dwight start walking up the stairs that were next to the hallway leading to the bedrooms. More happy tears fell as she descended up the stairs. Once she made it, she saw it was only one small loft area that was completely empty except for Dwight who beamed at her.

"You can do whatever you want with this room," Dwight invited as he stood in the middle of the room. "It's yours too. Well, every room is yours but this is your space."

Sherry walked closer to Dwight as he took a deep breath and smiled. "Alright. I'm coming to the end of my whole novel so I will wrap it up so you can finally give me an answer," He teased and then got down on one knee. He took her hand in his as he looked up to her as she gazed at him with wide eyes.

"Reason five. I will _always_ put you before myself. I know that you have good reason to not want to have another husband but just know it's not because I want to take ownership of you. It's because you deserve a life that is good and I will try my best to give you that life. And it isn't about owning _you_ but Sher, _I_ have been _yours_ for four years now and that's never going to change. I love you. I just want to be with you for the rest of my life and into forever." He reached into his back pocket and held out a golden ring with three square cut diamonds that was enclosed around large prongs that held it in place. The one in the middle was larger than the two sitting next to it but they each sparkled brightly against the light. His hand shook as he looked up to her with hopeful eyes. "Sherilyn Anne Ciccone. Will you please be my wife?"

Sherry couldn't help but cry out loud as she never felt more cared for or loved than she did in that moment. She nodded before she uttered a reply. "I will," she said quietly with a small smile.

"Yes?" Dwight said almost in disbelief.

"Are you joking? How could I say no?" Sherry asked as she wiped at the tears on her cheeks with a grin on her face.

Dwight immediately stood up and wrapped his arms around her middle. "I love you, I love you, I love you," Dwight repeated as he picked her up and kissed her on the lips.

"I love you too," She said quietly in his ear as she let him sway her side to side.

He broke apart from her and reached for her left hand. He held her fingers up as he put the wedding ring on her finger. She looked at it as if she were in a dream. Sherry hugged him again as they both absorbed their new step in both of their lives.

"So does that mean we're married now?" Sherry asked. "Ceremonies aren't really the norm anymore."

She didn't know what kind of preference Dwight had. Carson and Ashlyn got married as well as Yolanda and Kevin but many others opted to go without a ceremony and instead just proclaimed their marriage when they saw fit. She almost predicted Dwight wouldn't want anything to showy and just prepared herself for not having a wedding at all.

Another smile crept on Dwight's face. "You said your parents were Catholic, right?"

She nodded wondering where their conversation was going.

"I'm sure if I had the opportunity to ask for their permission, they would add the stipulation of getting married in a church," he speculated.

"It's like you already knew them," Sherry said with a smile.

"We could either just give ourselves the title or have it be the real deal…" Dwight thought out loud, leaving the rest of his sentence for Sherry to ponder as he kept his arms around her waist.

Sherry thought as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "We do have a church. And a Father. As much as I don't want to make a big deal out of it, my mom would have wanted me to have a real wedding."

"You got anything going on tomorrow?" Dwight asked her feigning to be nonchalant.

"That soon?" Sherry asked.

"What if I told you that I had help planning a wedding? Actually, they did everything while I fixed a house. All you had to do was show up to the church tomorrow. What would you say to that?" Dwight said as he took her right hand and started slow dancing with her. It was in the excitement that Sherry began to notice there was music playing in the background the whole time.

"I would tell you that I'd be there," Sherry said, "And that it better be good."

"Oh I'm sure it won't disappoint," Dwight said, "Besides, if you don't like it, I can't take all the blame. Your bridesmaids were the ones who planned most of it."

Sherry laughed lightly. "I have bridesmaids?"

"Barbara, Megan, Ashlyn and Amber," he clarified.

"Ah," Sherry breathed as all the new information started to settle in.

Dwight saw the look of nervousness in her eyes and spoke up. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to. If you feel pressured to do this, you wouldn't hurt my feelings if you wanted to wait a little bit longer."

"No," Sherry said hastily and then smiled. "This feels good. It feels great! Besides, I don't want you to go through all of this effort of rebuilding a house and sleep on Daryl's couch another night."

"Well, tonight I am actually going to sleep on his couch once more," he clarified as Sherry scrunched her eyebrows together in question. "You have visitors coming soon and I don't want to be in the way of that."

They walked downstairs hand in hand as the front door opened with Christy, Megan, Ashlyn and Amber strolling inside with boxes and suitcases galore. They all laughed with excitement as they saw Sherry and Dwight. Megan and Ashlyn moved their things into the living room as Christy and Amber embraced Sherry.

"I didn't know you were all in town tonight!" Sherry exclaimed happily.

"Like old times!" Amber laughed and took Sherry's hand to inspect her wedding ring, "It's so beautiful!"

Megan came back in the room and started pushing Dwight out the door. "We're doing everything by the book and are including superstitions. You can't see her until she walks down the aisle," she instructed as Ashlyn and Christy tried to help her. He hardly budged at their combined effort.

Dwight looked to Sherry and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow. Everyone was kind of clued in to the events tomorrow except you. So everything should run smoothly. Love you." With that, he left their house.

Christy grabbed Sherry by the hand as they walked into the kitchen and all sat at the table.

"Barb, did you ever find a date for tomorrow?" Megan asked her.

"Uh, yeah," Christy said nervously. "Rick kind of asked me the other day."

The girls all smiled as Sherry grinned to herself. She couldn't take her eyes off what would be her wedding ring for the rest of her life. Not only that but she could hardly get her mind off of who would be her husband for the rest of forever. Lost in her own world, she just beamed while trying to listen to her friends babble about their happenings in life.

It had been two months since she saw Amber and was glad to hear Mark was recuperating well. He spent many hours doing what they instructed in physical therapy and was nearly back to his old self from all the hard work.

Christy had been low-key dating Rick for almost a month. Not wanting to make it too public for the sake of Carl, they had only told a handful of people within Alexandria save for Maggie who was in Hilltop. After the many nights that Sherry shared a room with Christy in Sanctuary, she heard all the cries for her late husband Brad to come back from the dead and save her only for nothing to happen. Rick helped her move on and fill that void. Sherry was forever grateful.

Ashlyn and Carson seemed to be happy as usual. Noelle was still their pride and joy while agreed that she was the best baby in the world. Time was going by too fast as it seemed hard to believe she was already four months old.

Megan was staying mum on a certain mystery man that she had been seeing. They all tried to pry and guess but she remained silent and enjoyed their efforts to try and crack the case. Surprisingly, Megan revealed that each of their attempted guesses were all wrong.

As Amber had mentioned before, it _was_ like old times. Except for a big detail that Sherry couldn't help but notice. They all seemed happy. It wasn't a hopeful feeling like it had been before where they would crack a joke and all sigh while praying the life they had in Sanctuary would end sooner rather than later.

Sherry had been speaking with Kevin about moving on. It was like she rolled in a bed of thorns and had hundreds of spikes on her body. It took time and effort to remove each thorn but with every thorn removed came the sense of relief that there were only so few left to tend to. Sherry was at that point where she was walking around with no pain.

Except…

There was a feeling that she had missed one thorn. Not knowing where it was and how to shake it off, it still pierced without letting up in any way. Unsure of how to proceed, she thought she could talk to Kevin hoping that he would have an answer. As her friends continued to chat amongst themselves, she knew that he would say something on the lines that he couldn't help her unless she tried to dig down and find the source herself.

Marrying Dwight felt right. Moving on in that sense was perfect. But for some reason, she couldn't help but feel the thorn was connected to her moving on in such a big way. Unable to put her thumb on it, she decided to focus on it later and take the time to enjoy life. It was the eve of her surprise wedding, after all.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, & FACTS –**

 **#1 – I don't know why, but it's a pattern of mine to have some of my books chapters be written out well before they are published. For Nothing Else Matters, chapters 13-16 were well thought out before as I spent a lot of time thinking about those terrible scenes and bringing them to life. Chapters 13-16 of Heal were also written out probably a year in advance before I actually published them on FanFiction. Good things are coming in the next chapters, just you wait!**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 _April 26, 2014_

Dwight stepped outside on Daryl's porch in the early morning as he brought a cigarette and lighter in tow. Sitting on a lounge chair, he watched the sun peek out from behind trees.

Everything was in motion now. Sherry accepted both his proposal and the idea that their wedding be the day after. It had been more of a suggestion and if she refused either, he would gladly give her all the time in the world to mull things over. Fortunately for Dwight, she liked him as much as he liked her.

With a sigh, he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees while deep in thought. Dwight smirked as he breathed in the day knowing that it was going to be _their_ day. A lot would change but some things would remain the same as they had been before.

Dwight never met Sherry's father or mother, Vincent and Annie Ciccone. She spoke of them infrequently but when she did open up about her past life, he got an idea of the kind of people that they were. He knew her father as the protective type; especially with his only child. Her mother was warm even if she was sometimes high strung as Sherry recollected her to be. Sherry never doubted that both her parents loved her. Strong in their Catholic faith, he knew they would want their daughter taken care of with the expectations that Sherry independently placed for herself. Sherry believed in God in ways that Dwight couldn't yet fathom how but he trusted her opinion and held it in high regard. Even though he didn't know if Sherry wanted a wedding or not, he asked and hoped that she would agree.

He wanted things to be what she wanted them to be before life took a detour. Whatever she pictured for herself before the world ended was what _he_ wanted to take place because she deserved it. Dwight didn't consider himself much of a romantic with his other girlfriend's many years before. But with Sherry, he wanted to give her everything that was in his power to attain for her. For her, he would.

…

Sherry heard light chatter in the other room from her friends as their voices sounded delighted for the upcoming events of the day. Still in bed, Sherry played with her engagement ring while staring at it in awe. In near disbelief that it was hers to wear forever, she glanced at other things in shock that everything in her house was a gift from her soon-husband. She could cry at the notion but decided to breathe in the bliss that literally encompassed her.

The door slowly opened as Christy's voice rang in the room, "Rise and shine! It's nine in the morning, we let you have your beauty rest, but now it's time to start getting ready with a couple of things. First is making last minute adjustments to your dress."

Sherry's head popped up from the covers as she looked to Christy with curiosity. "Dress?"

"Yes, a dress," Christy reiterated and peered at Sherry, "Honestly, you think I would plan an event like this without thinking of a wedding dress? When I say I thought of everything, I meant it."

Sherry sat up while observing Christy for a moment before speaking. "How much did you plan?"

"That's for you to find out later today," Christy answered vaguely, "Oh and you aren't allowed to leave this house until we leave for the church."

"Whose decision was that?" Sherry questioned with a smile as she stretched then rolled out of bed.

"Mine," Christy revealed, "Everything is to have a sense of newness to it. I want every detail to have a wow-factor."

"I'm sure I would be just as wowed regardless," Sherry replied warmly and gave Christy a hug, "Thank you."

…

Rick stared at the pavilion going up beside the reservoir while standing at the watch tower. With pride, he turned his gaze towards everything else in Alexandria and breathed a confident sigh. Walkers were scarce for the day to which was another relief. Of all days, they didn't need to worry about a herd.

He thought about what he said to Negan in Hilltop before they carted him away to his permanent prison cell. Rick said that they could _thrive._ While overlooking his town in satisfaction, he thought about Hilltop, Kingdom, New Haven, and all the other communities in between that were doing so well without the taxation and "protection" of the Saviors.

It would have been so easy to let Negan win. They could have given Negan half of their belongings while scampering to find more but they would have also endured the constant harassment from his men. It was tempting to do so after what happened to Glenn...Abraham...Deanna...Eric...and countless more who gave their lives to defend something more.

As Rick looked over Alexandria, he was able to see that their lives didn't end for nothing. Children could grow and learn how to fortify their home for the new generation to come. Without Negan, the world moved on. And they _had thrived_.

…

Sherry examined herself in the bathroom mirror with her wedding dress on. Christy just finished putting her hair up in an elaborate way as Sherry's scalp already felt bruised from the ridiculous amount of bobby pins that were used in the process. Megan helped with makeup as Sherry looked at herself in the mirror. It had been awhile since she wore any kind of concealment on her face. Some scars that she received a year ago were touched up and were nonexistent for her special day.

She could hear the girls laugh in another part of her house as she stood all by herself in the bathroom just looking herself up and down. She was appreciative of the time that she had to herself as she thought of what was going to happen in the next several hours. She stepped away from the counter to get a look at the bigger picture. The dress had a somewhat plunging V-neck but didn't reach past her sternum. The back matched the front but fit snugly. Sherry was worried that her upper half would feel too exposed for the day but she trusted the instincts of the girls that found it. Once she tried it on, she knew that all body parts would stay firmly in place. The style was almost vintage and reminiscent of the '60's with its lower half being just past the knee line and the bodice line coming slightly above her hip bone. The sleeveless gown showed off a slender figure in contrast to the bustled out skirt.

She turned side to side to inspect herself and was pleased with the way the dress fit on her. It was perfect in every way. She then twisted once more to get a view of the back and see if the dress laid properly but instead got a glimpse of the markings on her back in their full glory. A sharp pain formed in her stomach immediately upon seeing it as she felt taken back to when her days were a lot darker.

Some things were unresolved. She understood that and remembered the symbolic thorn still pricking at her inside. A lot of things she wished could be swept under the rug like it never happened but she was constantly being harassed by the memories that still lingered and disturbed her greatly.

 _What are you doing, Sherry?_ She knew that she had to take care of some things sooner and not later. She was getting married in a few hours to her best friend and wanted to be there for Dwight whenever he needed her to be. Sherry wondered if she would be able to perform the task as his wife if she still had some demons still hiding in her closet. Of course, she knew that some memories would always haunt her. Dwight had told her countless times that he would help her throughout all of it. Admittedly, it was a slower process than she would have liked but there was one particular thing that she had to take care of before she got married. She dreaded the thought but knew it had to happen soon. She couldn't in good conscience say her vows with another man before burying the other that consistently invaded her mind. She had to say goodbye. She had to see _him._

Megan knocked on the bathroom door and looked at Sherry with adoration. "Oh Sherry!" She exclaimed, "That dress looks gorgeous on you!" Her excitement wore off when she read the look on Sherry's face. "What's wrong?"

"I need to see Dwight right now," Sherry responded with slight worry in her voice.

There was a pause as Megan scanned her friend's face with concern. "Is everything okay? Can I help?" Megan asked.

"I just need Dwight," Sherry reiterated, "It's important." She walked out of the room and stepped out of the house as the girls watched her curiously from the living room.

"What's going on?" Sherry could hear Christy ask behind her.

"I have no idea," Megan replied back faintly to her as Sherry made her way to Daryl's house where she knew Dwight would be.

…

"You look fancy," Dwight said sardonically while tying his black tie in Daryl's living room. He looked to Daryl who just sat on the couch fidgeting with his own cigarette and lighter.

Daryl snorted from Dwight's remark. "Shut up," he growled and he looked down at his black button up shirt. Everyone was alright with dressing up with a suit and tie except Daryl who opted for a black shirt instead. Dwight didn't mind. He even thought it was comical when the ladies tried to pressure and plead with him to wear something more formal. They couldn't budge.

"Ever think of having one of these days for yourself?" Dwight asked him.

"What? A wedding?" Daryl scoffed and then put on a serious face ridden with sadness as Dwight immediately became aware of something that he didn't know or understand. "Nah," was all Daryl said and then took another drag.

"I'm sorry, man," Dwight said sincerely. He knew of someone but didn't know the entire situation revolving around it. Feeling guilty for involving Daryl in his wedding in the first place, he folded his arms and leaned back in his seat. "If you want to skip out on today, you're more than welcome to."

Daryl shook his head, "It's fine."

As Dwight was about to say something, they heard a knock on the door. Both looking at each other, they shrugged while not expecting company. Daryl stepped towards the door since it was his house as another knock sounded while Dwight could hear the impatience of the person already.

"I'm comin'!" Daryl shouted while annoyed that whoever it was, seemed like they couldn't wait one more minute. When he opened the door, Daryl appeared stunned while Dwight only saw Daryl and not the person on the other side of the threshold.

Daryl got over his surprise than looked to Dwight with slight worry as Dwight grinded his teeth while mirroring his friend's apprehension. _This doesn't seem like it can be good._

…

Dwight leaned against the railing on Daryl's porch as Sherry kept pacing back and forth. Twiddling his thumbs, he had already gotten over the shock of seeing her wedding dress as he waited to find out what was so urgent that she couldn't wait to tell. He did, however, make a mental note that she was nothing short of perfection with the way she appeared. He thought she was beautiful every day but the image of seeing her in a wedding dress was something special in and of itself.

Sherry looked down at the porch beneath her and closed her eyes. Dwight watched her as he waited for a response while on the edge of his seat. He mentally crossed his fingers hoping that she didn't change her mind. He didn't know if he could take rejection when she had already accepted his proposal but knew if she did, he had to respect that was her choice.

Tears sprung from her eyes as they fell down her cheeks. He waited patiently but only wanted to comfort her in any way possible. "Sher, please tell me what's wrong."

"I need to do something before we do this," Sherry revealed as she took a deep breath and looked at him.

"You name it," Dwight responded, "If it's important to you, then it's important to me."

"You won't like it," Sherry said.

"Try me," He tested back at her. Dwight could already piece together what her request might be. It didn't sit well with him but he knew it was for a good reason. He knew it would help her move on.

"I need to see Negan," Sherry said quickly as she walked closer to him and touched his forearm, "There are just some things I need to say and I will be done. I just know if I put it off, it will be unfair to you. I need to shut a part of my life away and keep it in the past where it belongs."

He put his hand over hers and stroked her fingers with his thumb. Dwight trusted Sherry. And he knew that her past wasn't the happiest. It made sense that she would want to end it in such a way. She probably felt safe knowing Negan would be behind bars and not able to try anything. Dwight understood why she needed to speak to Negan. And he wasn't going to try and stop her.

"I'll take you there myself," Dwight said as he looked into her dark eyes.

Sherry looked somewhat surprised and gave him a hug. "I know this doesn't make sense but thanks for understanding," she said to him while he held her in the embrace.

"On the contrary, it makes perfect sense," Dwight assured and kissed her cheek. Loosening his hold he instead offered her his hand with a smile. "Let's take care of this."

…

Negan woke up and could sense that he wasn't alone in his prison cell. He jolted up quickly from his rest on the cot and looked beyond the cell to see the last person who he ever thought would visit him. She watched him as she sat on the bench on the other side of the wall with her arms folded. She had a knee length cream dress that had a deep V-neck. This was the most of a female Negan had seen in awhile and he admitted to himself that he was aroused by heru presence. Who it actually was didn't help either.

"Came to visit me after all this time?" Negan was the first person to speak as she continued to eye him with her big brown eyes.

"I just needed to get some things off my chest," Sherry explained as she put both palms on the bench next to her on each side as she leaned forward slightly. Negan noticed she moved a lot when she was nervous about something or trying to collect her thoughts. It was one of the quirks he liked about her.

"You can start with that dress," Negan joked and winked in her direction. She looked downward, uncomfortable by the remark as Negan tried to think of a way to backpedal what he said. "You look beautiful," he said sincerely.

Sherry made a small smile as he knew she took it the way he meant it. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"What's the occasion?" Negan asked.

"I'm getting married today," Sherry said in all seriousness.

Negan scoffed but tried to keep it toned down so she wouldn't leave sooner than she felt she had to. He enjoyed her company despite their past history. "Who's the lucky guy?" He asked.

"Dwight," Sherry said quietly.

Negan took in a deep breath to fight off the sting of betrayal he couldn't help but feel. "Did my other girls find some gentlemen they fancy?" He asked sarcastically.

Sherry looked annoyed from something that he probably said but he couldn't think of what came out of his mouth that was remotely insulting. He was on his best behavior at that moment. "I think they've all moved on. They are all very happy," she disclosed as she stood up. Her dress stood out and showed off her body impressively. She stepped closer to the cell and put her hands on the metal.

"You said you have some things that you need to get off your chest," Negan said as he stood just inches away from her. He took his fingers to touch hers as she didn't make an effort to move. "Say it," he whispered with soft encouragement as he moved his head closer to hers and looked down at her beautiful round face.

She looked up to him with conflict apparent on her face. "So many times I told myself that I hated you for the things you did to me and others around you. But other times you _made_ me feel something for you. I can't pretend that at one point I did have feelings. I didn't understand it. But now that I have been a healthy distance away from you, I can see clearly that it wasn't real."

"It _was_ real," Negan argued quietly on his behalf and held her other hand.

"No," Sherry disagreed with almost a pleading voice, "I need you to admit that you hurt me. I need to hear that you have even a tiny ounce of guilt for what you put me through."

Negan looked down and then back into her eyes. He could feel his own conflict arising in his own being as he knew he couldn't lie to her. "Sherry I really did love you," he began, "I _still_ do." Negan looked at his hand over hers and took in the human interaction that he was having with gratitude. "And I did hurt you. More than once. In more _ways_ than one," Negan admitted as he felt better for saying it out loud even though he didn't utter it before.

Sherry looked down as Negan took the opportunity to smell her hair. "Won't your new husband be upset that you're here?" He asked.

"He's upstairs," Sherry replied, "He knows I'm here."

"Dwight was always so sentimental," Negan nearly seethed while rolling his eyes.

"I just wanted to say goodbye," Sherry said in her sweet voice, "I wanted to before but I _had_ to do it before later today. After this, I don't have any intention of seeing you ever again."

"Don't say that," Negan said painfully as he felt he had been punched in the stomach.

"Negan, I'm moving on," Sherry said with more sadness than he thought she would have when it came to him. She looked at him with such tenderness mixed with heartache as a tear fell down her cheek.

As much as Negan didn't want to admit it, he knew that any attraction she felt towards him was unhealthy. He knew he was terribly unfair to her in the past and that he would never change or get a second chance when it came to Sherry. "I'm sorry for everything I put you through, Sherry," Negan said in a heavy voice, "If I had a do-over for anything, it would have been how I treated you. I just didn't know how to handle the way I felt for you with how the world was."

"That does make me feel a little bit better," Sherry revealed and looked up at him in a tearful stare. He felt his head move closer to hers as if being drawn like a magnet. Their foreheads touched as he felt he could easily kiss her. He wanted to but knew she wouldn't like it but he entertained the thought regardless. "Goodbye, Negan," she said quietly with sweet emotion. With that, her hands slipped away from his grasp and she quickly walked up the stairs.

He felt a lump form in his throat as the best woman in his life walked away from him. He sat on his cot and put his hands to his forehead as he tried to shut her out of his mind. But he knew their encounter would haunt him for as long as he stayed in his little cell. It would be all he thought about for a very long time.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Dwight took some deep breaths as people started walking into the church building with their best clothes they had. He was surprised at the turn out but knew that any break from their regular chores and procedures to stay alive was a welcome distraction. And Alexandria liked their celebrations.

"You are allowed to breathe, Dwight."

Dwight turned around to see Father Gabriel standing next to him. "And you have proven yourself to deserve a great life among us."

Dwight nodded slightly and straightened his tie unsure of what else to do. He took another deep breath and cleared his throat as he waited for the ceremony to begin.

…

Sherry started pacing while still feeling nervous like she did before except the weight on her shoulders was noticeably absent. She could allow herself to smile unlike hours before. When she did smile, she was able to happily anticipate the day ahead of her. Within an hour, another tradition from the life before would take place. She would get married in a church like her parents would have wanted her to.

Closing her eyes, she waited inside her new house with her bridesmaids as they conversed with each other in excited voices. They each got dolled up with lilac short sleeved dresses. The length reached several inches above their knees and had white ribbon embellishments on the waistline and hem.

With each bridesmaid holding a small bouquet of flowers, they made small talk while waiting in Sherry's home.

"Where's baby Noelle?" Amber asked almost sad that Noelle was absent from their little bridal party.

"She's with Yolanda," Ashlyn clarified, "We actually found a lilac dress for her to wear. She matches!"

Sherry stared at them all with admiration then took a deep breath as her heart nearly beat out of her chest.

"It's almost time," Megan said beside her as she reached for Sherry's hand, "You okay?"

"More than okay," Sherry said with a satisfied grin. Taking initiative on her big day, she took one step on the stairs to be seen by all of her friends. They quieted down and each gave her the attention she silently requested. "You all look so great! If I could say a few words…"

"I suppose you're allowed," Christy remarked with a wink and smiled with utmost support, "But if this is a toast, we should really get the glasses and wine."

Amber didn't skip a beat and ran into the kitchen as Ashlyn followed closely behind. When they returned, they gave each woman a glass of her own then poured everyone wine except Ashlyn who said she didn't want to intoxicate her breastfed daughter.

Sherry held her glass in hand and beheld them all again. Sobering up the mood, she noticed all the empty spaces in the room where Amanda, Brittany, Jada, and Lauren could have been standing.

"Even though not all of us are here," Sherry started as they all seemed transported to a different time when they were all together, "I am thankful that some of us are able to enjoy this new life. Our old friends are with us in their own way. Cheers to our friends and let's live our lives the way they would want us to. To happiness."

They all repeated her toast as they all took a drink for the people they lost but also for a life renewed. They hugged each other while fanning their faces to keep from crying tears of joy. The scene was surreal to Sherry. They had all come so far from their existence in Sanctuary. That alone was something to celebrate.

The front door opened as Jenna emerged. "They are ready for you guys," she greeted with a smile.

Sherry took another shaky breath as her friends practically squealed with delight. They ushered her out of the house and quickly followed while Christy handed Sherry her own wedding bouquet. As they walked towards the other side of Alexandria, Sherry saw the cement landing by their reservoir that used to be a foundation for a house. It looked to have changed overnight as beams stood up tall and held up a wooden pavilion. Decorated tables and chairs were underneath the covering with white flowers as the centerpiece. There was an empty spot in the middle of the floor to make way for some dancing. Every detail had been thought of and could have passed for a wedding reception that had been before the world ended.

As they made it to the church, Sherry saw Dwight's group of guys standing outside talking amongst each other. Since Dwight sought the help of Sherry's friends - who volunteered to be her bridesmaids - he had to equal the people he asked to be his groomsmen to fit the number of who was walking down the aisle with who. The men were less reluctant to make the day as big as Sherry's friends wanted it to be. But of course, they obliged. Daryl, Mark, Carson, and Rick were present as well as Carl who would escort Jenna down the aisle. Sherry thought it obvious that Jenna seemed smitten with Rick's son. As the women approached the men, Jenna walked right up to Carl and did a small twirl with her lilac dress. Carl looked as if in somewhat awe as Jenna was dressed up and looked like a woman; not a girl.

"Hey, boys!" Christy laughed as she looked to Teegan and Troy who were dressed up in their suits and chasing Judith, "Let's try and keep Judith nice and clean for the first part of the day, okay?"

Kevin stepped towards Sherry in greeting. Sherry was surprised to see him and assumed that he would be in the chapel sitting beside Yolanda. Nevertheless, he approached her with a warm smile. "Sherry, I would like to ask you a serious question."

"Sure," Sherry complied as her bridesmaids tried to get everyone to stand in position for how they would walk down the aisle. The amusing encounter was Amber trying to tell Daryl what to do as he grudgingly did what she said and let her guide him to where he needed to be. She placed him next to Megan then stood in front of them with Mark at her side.

"I know both of your real parents aren't present for this event so I would like to volunteer to step in their shoes," Kevin offered humbly, "It would be my honor to escort you down the aisle."

Surprised by how much emotion ignited because of his sentiment, Sherry could only hug him tightly while forcing herself not to cry. "I would like that," she said quietly into his shoulder.

"You are about the same age as my daughters would have been," Kevin recollected, "I would have loved to have this moment with them but I'm equally pleased to share this time with you."

"Thank you so much," Sherry uttered as he stuck his elbow out for her to take. She smiled and wrapped her arm with his as they waited.

"It's my pleasure," Kevin replied.

…

The first to appear out of the door was Judith who chucked flower petals to the ground instead of eloquently like it was supposed to be done. Teegan and Troy followed while trying to walk like they had been told but once they were five feet to the end mark, they bolted to their place beside their mom on the front aisle who stared them down to let them know their rough housing wasn't acceptable in a church or at a wedding.

Dwight just kept looking beyond the door to try and spot Sherry. Her being the shortest of the bunch made it hard to pinpoint exactly where she was so he decided to focus on his friends that made their way into the chapel to stand at the front beside him.

First to walk inside was Carl and Jenna. Her dress was slightly different than the other women. Jenna's appeared more youthful and was appropriate for her age. Carl's face was beat red and glanced up at Dwight to make a face. Dwight simply shrugged in return but understood the awkwardness. It wasn't often that they had to have celebrations that bordered upon ridiculousness in comparison to their regular livelihood of trying to survive.

Second had been Mark and Amber who appeared congenial to each other while trying to reshape their relationship. As they walked down the aisle, it almost looked as if they liked one another which had been a stark difference from several months ago.

Third was Daryl and Megan as Daryl seemed like he was being tortured to death. A smile escaped Dwight's lips as he stifled to laugh at his friend's humiliation of being forced to dress up and be a part of something that was definitely not his style. Distracted at Daryl's embarrassment, he was surprised to see everyone stand up and stare behind them as he glanced in that direction to see his fiancée and Kevin start heading his direction.

Even though he had already seen her earlier in the day, it still took him aback that she was making her final ascent as a single woman. Whatever possessed her to say yes to his proposal was beyond him. Regardless of the reason she accepted, he was privileged to be the one waiting at the altar for her.

Kevin and Sherry made it to the front as everyone took a seat again once Father Gabriel gave them the go-ahead. Kevin and Sherry embraced for several seconds before he sat next to Yolanda who held a sleeping Noelle.

Dwight could see Sherry glance over to him as she gave him a demure grin then actually blushed and looked away. It made him grin as he turned his attention towards Father Gabriel who looked at them admirably.

"My dear friends," Father Gabriel started, "You have come together in this church so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church's minister and this community. Christ abundantly blesses this love. He has already consecrated you in baptism and now he enriches and strengthens you by a special sacrament so that you may assume the duties of marriage in mutual and lasting fidelity. And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions."

Father Gabriel looked to the young couple that stood in front of him. Dwight subtly reached for Sherry's pinky finger with his and squeezed gently. "Dwight Abraham Orlich and Sherilyn Anne Ciccone, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?" Father Gabriel continued, "Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives? Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

"Yes," Sherry said.

"Yes," Dwight echoed.

Father Gabriel smiled at them then proceeded. "Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church."

Facing each other, Dwight reached for Sherry's right hand but held it up to kiss it then winked as Father Gabriel read on. Not before Sherry gave him a closed mouth grin as her dark eyes seemed more alive than he had ever seen them before. To Dwight, she was truly radiant.

"Dwight Abraham Orlich, do you take Sherilyn Anne Ciccone to be your wife?" Father Gabriel asked. "Do you promise to be true to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and honor her all the days of your life?"

"I do," Dwight said with no hesitation. Sherry's hand shook at the emotion that was taking over in the moment.

Gabriel looked to Sherry. "Sherilyn Anne Ciccone, do you take Dwight Abraham Orlich to be your husband? Do you promise to be true to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and honor him all the days of your life?"

Sherry nodded as tears erupted. "I do," she replied. They both squeezed each other's hands as Dwight's eyes immediately got attacked by tears upon her genuine answer. Her promises that she made to God in regards to him were more than just a sweet sentiment. It hit him like a brick wall as he knew Sherry was a woman of her word. Indeed, when it came to Sherry, he could easily admit that he was a softie.

"You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings," Father Gabriel said to them, "What God has joined, men must not divide."

"Amen," Sherry and the rest of the congregation said. Dwight said it two seconds after everyone else as he was still unfamiliar with how Catholic ceremonies went. Sherry stifled a laugh as Dwight smiled at her with his face getting red. Several others in the congregation laughed as they recognized his small blunder.

"May I have the rings?" Father Gabriel said and looked to both Teegan and Troy. They both walked to them awkwardly and held out the rings. Gabriel took them both as they then sat next to Terri on the front pew.

"Lord, bless these rings which we bless in your name. Grant that those who wear them may always have a deep faith in each other. May they do your will and always live together in peace, good will, and love. We ask this through Christ our Lord."

Sherry nodded to Dwight as they both said an "amen" together along with their wedding guests.

Father Gabriel gave Sherry's wedding band for Dwight to take as Dwight picked it up.

"You remember what you're supposed to say?" Gabriel muttered quietly.

Dwight nodded in assurance and put the gold ring on Sherry's finger that complimented the ring he gave her the night before. "Sherilyn Anne Ciccone, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

Sherry took Dwight's gold wedding band and placed it on his ring finger. "Dwight Abraham Orlich, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," she repeated and smiled at Dwight.

"You may now exchange a kiss," Gabriel said.

With their hands still intertwined, Sherry craned her neck to kiss Dwight as he met her more than halfway. They kissed tenderly while Dwight broke their hands away and kissed her once more when putting his arms around her. She did the same and hugged him tightly as she could hear him sniffling on her shoulder.

"I love you," Dwight muffled quietly as she felt the warmth of his mouth on her neck when he said it. The crowd gave some light applause with the exception of Miguel who whistled loudly.

"I love you too," Sherry said touched that he was getting so emotional on their special day. He quickly wiped at his eyes again as the crowd quieted down to proceed with the marriage rite.

"Let us pray to the Lord for this bride and groom, who come to the altar as they begin their married life, that, partaking of the Body and Blood of Christ, they may always be bound together by love for one another," Father Gabriel spoke as everyone bowed their heads in silent prayer. Sherry closed her eyes but then glanced at Dwight who was unsure of what to do. He looked to her in question as she bowed her head again and closed her eyes hoping he would catch on that he should do the same. When she opened her eyes to check if he did, she saw he successfully caught on as to what they were supposed to do.

Father Gabriel opened his eyes and put both of his hands on their heads. "Holy Father, who formed man in your own image, male and female you created them, so that as husband and wife, united in body and heart, they might fulfill their calling in the world. O God, who, to reveal the great design you formed in your love, willed that the love of spouses for each other should foreshadow the covenant you graciously made with your people, so that, by fulfillment of the sacramental sign, the mystical marriage of Christ with his Church might become manifest in the union of husband and wife among your faithful.

"Graciously stretch out your right hand over these your servants Dwight and Sherilyn, we pray, and pour into their hearts the power of the Holy Spirit. Grant, O Lord, that, as they enter upon this sacramental union, they may share with one another the gifts of your love and, by being for each other a sign of your presence, become one heart and one mind.

"May they also sustain, O Lord, by their deeds the home they are forming and prepare their children to become members of your heavenly household by raising them in the way of the Gospel. Graciously crown with your blessings your daughter, Sherilyn Anne Ciccone, so that, by being a good wife and mother, she may bring warmth to her home with a love that is pure and adorn it with welcoming graciousness.

"Bestow a heavenly blessing also, O Lord, on Dwight Abraham Orlich, your servant, that he may be a worthy, good and faithful husband and a provident father. Grant, holy father, that, desiring to approach your table as a couple joined in marriage in your presence, they may one day have the joy of taking part in your great banquet in heaven. Through Christ our Lord."

"Amen," everyone said in response as Sherry wiped at her own tears.

They finished the rites and sang the Lord's Prayer upon which Dwight pretended to know and Sherry could see Daryl next to him not even try. Everyone else seemed to remember it well and sang it loud and proud.

Once it finished, Father Gabriel concluded the ceremony. "May God the eternal Father keep you of one heart in love for one another that the peace of Christ may dwell in you and abide always in your home."

"Amen."

"May you be blessed in your children, have solace in your friends and enjoy true peace with everyone," Gabriel stated.

"Amen."

"May you be witnesses in the world to God's charity, so that the afflicted and needy who have known your kindness may one day receive you thankfully into the eternal dwelling of God." Gabriel said.

"Amen," everyone seemed to echo as Dwight stumbled on that blessing but put his own amen for his future.

"And may Almighty God bless all of you, who are gathered here, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

"Amen," everyone said whole heartedly as the piano played in the background indicating that the ceremony was finally over. Dwight and Sherry turned around to look at the crowd as they all stood and celebrated with shouts of joy.

…

" _Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time. Maybe I'm afraid of the way I need you. Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pull me out of time. And hung me on a line. Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you."_

Music played on a stereo system as the sun began to set. Everyone was underneath or around the pavilion as they ate, danced, or spoke to each other with much enthusiasm. Maggie was dancing with Hershel in her arms as she tried to keep him awake for as long as she could so he would crash hard later. Ashlyn did the same but gave up as she herself began to feel tired as the young Carson family bowed out early from the party.

Amber had been approached by Heath several times in the night who asked her to dance but each time she shook her head as she committed herself to stay next to Mark the whole night. She didn't seem to mind but did give a sincere apology to Heath each time he felt bold enough to ask.

Sherry was congratulated at every corner. A lot of community members told her that it had been far too long since they had a wedding and that their celebration would soon revive the tradition for many others to come. Sherry didn't complain as it was a welcome distraction from the terror on the other side of the wall.

Dwight lingered close by with a hand around her waist throughout the entire night. It made Sherry feel protected and the extra affection was warm and welcoming. His close proximity to her was making it more difficult to focus on their guests as time pressed on.

As night enveloped their atmosphere, lights came on that were strewn across the pavilion. People made delighted cheers when they turned on as the party continued. Dances were slow or fast but Sherry requested that no line dances were to be played. She wanted it to be a perfect night, after all.

More faces emerged onto the party scene as Sherry spotted Eugene next to the food table. Sherry pointed him out to Dwight as he instantly made a face and pretended that Rick needed to speak with him on the other side of the landing. Sherry rolled her eyes and started walking toward Eugene as she supposed she would be thanking his arrival on her own.

"Eugene!" Sherry said delightedly and gave him a hug. Eugene smiled at her obvious joy of seeing him and almost blushed at the positive attention. "I was told by Sasha that you weren't going to be around today!"

"Finished at the factory earlier than predicted," Eugene stated, "I brought something for you."

Sherry's eyebrows raised as he reached behind his back to hold up a medium-sized black box with golden embellishments. Sherry's jaw dropped as Eugene opened it to show it was a jewelry box with a single ballerina who began to spin slowly upon opening the lid.

"I used to be a science teacher before everything happened," Eugene said as she held it while examining every detail, "It's in my skillset to fix these kind of things. A couple of bolts here and there needed to be replaced. Nothing I couldn't fix. Someone told me that you used to be a dancer. Well, I saw this and couldn't think of anyone else that would have better use for it."

"Eugene… this is one of the best presents I have ever had," Sherry said as she glanced up to him, "Really, I don't know what to say."

"It has a lock too," Eugene said and showed her the key inside the box, "You can put whatever you want in there. I hope it serves you well."

…

" _Say, love, you remind me of someone I remember from years past; someone I met in a dream. One day you appeared at my window, helplessly looking for refuge. Funny, you never did leave."_

Dwight stood behind his wife as she opened up the card that Aaron had given them. Aaron waited expectedly as Dwight wrapped his arms around Sherry's middle and put his chin on the top of her head. She started reading the card then looked up to Aaron who gestured to his camera bag that was strapped around his shoulder.

"This is what Alexandria is all about," Aaron started. "It's about making and keeping the memories we have. We have a legacy that so few people have. It needs to be protected with the simple things."

Dwight looked down at the letter and read Aaron's small font. _"Dear Dwight & Sherry. Please accept my official belated wedding present as I will print photos of your special day with a photo printer that we snagged at a local pharmacy. It's moments like these that we felt the need to risk life and limb to bring such a big and bulky machine within the walls of Alexandria. Being a professional photographer on the side (in my previous life) made me feel inclined to take the job on your special day. I hope you don't mind and I hope you enjoy the results which you will get within the week after I try and do some edits. Stay happy and never take the small moments lightly. Treasure everything. Love, Your Good Friend, Aaron."_

Sherry brought Aaron into a hug as he squeezed her tightly. "Thank you so much. That is better than anything that we could have asked for," Sherry said while being somewhat choked with emotion. Dwight wasn't the kind of person to be sentimental about photos but knew Sherry saw the need to look back on the best day of their lives. Dwight knew deep down that he would be appreciative of it as well.

"It's no trouble. You two deserve it," Aaron said and lightly touched Sherry's hand before he took off back to his seat.

Sherry looked to Dwight with amazement in her eyes as Dwight could only smile at the enthusiasm that she had. Her joy of the day reverberated throughout her entire being as her eyes gleamed from the lights above. Sherry's face was glowing while her grin left her face as she met Dwight's astounded stare. Her mood hadn't changed but she gave him a knowing glance as he returned it. He knew he would remember that moment for as long as he lived. Sherry was beautiful inside and out. Dwight wished that Sherry knew how much he loved her. He hoped to prove it until his last breath. Sherry knew to an extent but there were so many things that Dwight felt about her that he was unable to form into words. He wondered if he would ever be able to convey the way she made him feel. _Time will show,_ Dwight thought to himself as she took his hand. He accepted the gesture with gratitude and brought her hand up to kiss the top of it gently. Sherry made a small smile but Dwight could see her mind was thinking the same thing that he was. They were both just completely amazed about where they were in time. Things had finally found a good groove. In spite of all the heartache, they were able to pull through it all and find happiness.

…

"So who is going to be next now?" Amber asked as Megan and Christy had joined her and Mark. Christy and Megan had spent all night making sure food had been well stocked as well as wine that had been filled to fit everyone's requests. With things dying down, they finally had a chance to put their feet up. It had taken the whole month since Dwight asked Christy to help plan a wedding for her to actually execute his request. As much as she enjoyed forming every detail, she was glad it was almost over.

"I would have said you two," Christy said and pointed to Mark and Amber as everyone at the table besides her seemed to roll their eyes at the thought including Megan.

As Amber began to remark, her face reddened while she nodded to someone behind Christy. "I don't know, I think some other people amongst us will beat Mark and me."

"What are you…" Christy asked as she looked in the direction that Amber's gaze seemed to be distracted from. She turned to see Rick walk towards them while looking directly at her. She heard Amber laugh behind her but paid it no attention. She could only focus on how handsome he was when he looked as if he wanted to smile but was too reserved to do so.

"Can I have this dance?" Rick asked as he leaned over to whisper the offer in her ear. Christy could see Megan raise her eyebrow at Christy but nodded in his direction as a seal of approval.

With a nod, Rick guided Christy to the makeshift dance floor as he held her delicate waist firmly. Christy was looking around to see where Judith was and saw she was sitting on Carol's lap while her eyes began to get heavy from the night's celebration.

"Tuckered out again, isn't she?" Christy remarked as Rick held one of her hands to the side and put another hand on her back. He started swaying as people looked on while seeing their leader in a different light.

"It's been a long day," Rick replied but shrugged, "This time for a good reason."

"It's nice," Christy beamed, "I nearly killed myself getting decorations and outfits. Literally. But even after all the planning, I would want to see weddings here more often."

"I can agree with that," Rick echoed her sentiments as he looked her in eyes. Christy adjusted her arm to wrap around Rick's shoulder blade and stepped closer to leave no distance between them.

They stayed quiet as Rick brought his face closer to hers. Bringing his lips to her ear, Christy smiled at his soft spoken way of stealing her attention.

"About that kiss a while back," Rick started. Christy knew what he was getting at. It was something that they both had an unspoken agreement about. Telling their closest friends that _something_ was developing, they didn't really explore it any further other than only having eyes for each other.

"What about it?" Christy played coyly.

"You haven't said much to me after that," Rick recalled but still had a warm smile as if to let her know it didn't hurt him.

"I'm sorry about that," Christy replied with some melancholy, "I just need to move slow with some things. The last… relationship… I had was a little rocky."

"I understand," Rick said, "I won't push anything you aren't ready for. But I would like to get to know you more in the meantime if you don't mind."

"Just throwing that out there?" Christy joked.

Rick actually grinned at her flirtatious remark and nearly kissed her cheek but thought better of it.

"I'll allow it," Christy invited quietly with a smirk.

With her permission, he brought his face to hers before lightly touching his lips against her cheek. Christy closed her eyes at the sweetness within it. However long it took to recover from what happened in Sanctuary, she knew it would be worth it.

…

After thanking what seemed like the hundredth person, the song changed as Sherry listened to its familiar melody with a grin. Dwight approached her slowly from the other side of the pavilion with hands in his pockets and a shy smile.

"This our first dance?" Sherry teased.

"I should have asked which song you would have had in mind for the special occasion," Dwight responded, "We can change it."

"Not necessary," Sherry informed, "I love this song."

Dwight outstretched his hand then escorted her to the dance floor. Sherry saw Christy and Rick dancing in what seemed their own world as Dwight placed both hands on the small of her back. She responded by wrapping her hands behind his neck.

"Take my hand…take my whole life too… But I can't help falling in love with you," Dwight sang softly as his lips stayed close to her forehead. Sherry closed her eyes as she felt perfectly content with everything in her life. She and Dwight were able to be with each other. She didn't know what the future held for them but she knew she was happy for the time they had.

…

Megan watched everyone dance in the distance as she sat on the lookout by the gate. The lights that were strung over there makeshift dance floor glistened in the dark and looked like a fairytale. She saw that Eugene made an appearance but bailed on the party before they could sit and chat. He had been a good friend to her in the past month. Feelings of more than friendship began to grow as Megan nearly welcomed it.

But despite the happiness she felt among friends, she had to leave and be by herself for a moment. Scaling the lookout, dress and all, she stood atop the perch and thought about her life in the last year. Had Takuya still been alive, she wouldn't have felt the need to step away from the party.

In many ways she moved on from the dream that engulfed her at times when she needed that escape. Takuya started and ended as nothing more than an idea. That reality killed her as she knew he felt the same way about her. Torn apart by someone who threatened their lives if they stepped past the line of fantasy, they waited in vain.

Megan still treated him as if they had been together for years. In an odd way, they were. She visited his grave nearly everyday. It had become her spot to relax as she would take a book or bring music along with her for the visit.

Nights like tonight were far more difficult. Dwight and Takuya were best friends and she knew he would have enjoyed every minute.

Pulled away from her thoughts, she saw Daryl walking towards the gates. Despite his dressed up apparel, he had his crossbow strapped to his back and strode to the wall with purpose. Once he made it to the gate to open it up, he glanced up to see her watching him. He helped bury Takuya last year and perhaps knew her need to escape. Daryl's reasons to leave the party early were a mystery. She was aware that Daryl wasn't much of a people person but also heard a rumor that Maggie had a sister whom he was fond of and was no longer with them.

Megan nodded at Daryl without saying a word as he replied with a faint echo of her acknowledgment. Bonded by loss, they didn't say anything more as she watched him leave Alexandria's walls to be alone.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, & FACTS -**

 **#1 - The three songs in italics will be on the Book 5 "soundtrack." In order, they are, Maybe I'm Amazed by Paul McCartney (if you can recall that is Vincent & Annie Ciccone's wedding song), Sweet Dreams by Midas Whale (I order you to look them up now!), and Can't Help Falling in Love by Fleet Foxes (this one specifically is their official wedding song...cliche but...).**

 **#2 - The Rite of Marriage used for Dwight & Sherry's wedding is an actual Catholic ceremony. No words were embellished. As much as I wanted Kevin to make an announcement that he was giving away Sherry, it wasn't true to the Rite of Marriage or Kevin's relationship to Sherry as she is a grown woman who can give herself away. Even if it were her father walking her down the aisle, it wouldn't be asked.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 – The Final Chapter of Heal

With his jacket over her shoulders, Dwight and Sherry walked hand in hand down the street where their new house sat on the new border of Alexandria. Not even having to relay the day they had just shared, they each wore satisfied smiles on their faces.

Sherry hated to compare Dwight to Negan as she often sometimes did but it was in the similar moments that she knew how different the circumstances really were. Remembering her first night in Sanctuary and her first night as Negan's "wife," there was a lot of fear and uncertainty for the future. In their life, she knew time to be short with the people she loved. _Any_ relationship had the potential to be full of fear and uncertainty but with Negan it was more than the walkers. She feared _him._

As she walked with her husband to their small home there was no room to feel anything less than joy and contentment. There would be a day when she would have bad moments but Dwight had proven himself countless times to stand beside her in times of said grief. Indeed, she never could conceive such a partner in her head as he became much better than any man of her dreams.

"Good day?" Dwight asked in the silence. There was a sense of peace behind his words when he said it.

"The _best_ day," Sherry replied. "Everything about it was… It was amazing."

Dwight kept on walking as Sherry often sighed while soaking in every memory that transpired within the last twenty-four hours. His thumb would stroke the side of her hand smoothly with fondness. "I have a wife now," Dwight stated with an awestruck voice.

"Weird to say?" Sherry inquired.

Dwight stared up to the sky in thought as she followed his eye line to see the millions of stars scattered throughout the black canvas. With the lack of lights in nearby cities, they were able to enjoy luminous constellations in all its grandeur everywhere they went. As time moved on and things settled into a groove, they all were growing accustomed to their new world in ways where they thought it was sometimes better.

"Yes," Dwight finally said, "And no. I'll definitely get used to it and I am liking the sound of it. What about you? How will it be introducing me to someone?"

"'This is my husband, Dwight,'" Sherry played along then smiled at how it all sounded out loud.

When they reached their home, Dwight faced her, leaned down, and brought arms behind her knees and back to pick her up. Surprised at the cheesiness that was very much Dwight's personality when he wanted to be cute, she snickered and wrapped her arms around his neck. Holding on tightly to his chest, he smiled at her and continued stepping towards the house with ease.

"Nothin' but traditional, baby," Dwight said lightly once they made it to the front door. Attempting to grab the door handle, he reached down but couldn't while holding her. With a disheartened grunt, he carefully let her down on her own two feet. "Hold on one damn second," he muttered then opened the door. Not skipping a beat, he brought Sherry back into his arms and carried her through the door.

"Less than a perfect delivery," Dwight said grudgingly but smiled as he still held her tightly in the front entryway.

"I liked it," Sherry encouraged with her arms wrapped around him as she glanced up to his eyes. His smile slowly faded but the admiration in his gaze still lingered. The familiar feeling started to form inside of Sherry. She wanted to be with him. Feeling like a completely renewed woman, she wanted to continue to ride the good wave. Not wanting to wait for the opportunity to pass, she was convinced she could commit to Dwight that night without hardly any influence of alcohol persuading her.

Mentally speaking, she had a great day. Sherry was nervous but knew she was ready and the thought of being with Dwight made her happy. She knew he wouldn't hurt her. She felt she was finally able to separate the bad from the good in the most intimate way possible.

…

Dwight placed her down and tried to read what was going on in her mind. She never broke eye contact with him and almost looked to him with pleading eyes. Her face read the same admiration that she carried throughout their special day but the gaze she gave him in their home was intimate and far more precious than Dwight could describe.

"Well, what do you want to do next?" Dwight asked lightly. "We can watch a movie on the couch and relax." He didn't want to watch a movie himself but he only wanted to assure her that there was no pressure to do anything that she wasn't ready for.

Sherry blinked at his question several times and shook her head slowly. Reaching down to take her shoes off, she looked around the house while he watched her mind form some idea. "I… I actually need help getting this dress off. The zipper is kind of tricky."

"Isn't that the first time you've worn it?" Dwight questioned but watched Sherry quickly walk to her room. He stood dumbfounded in his spot wondering if he should follow her or not. Not wanting to be _that_ guy, he refused to see any implications that could have laid under the surface. Finally moving his feet, he walked towards the bedroom while loosening his tie.

He quickly scanned in the bedroom but then saw her standing in the adjoining bathroom just in front of the mirror. She stared at her reflection with both palms on the counter and took several deep breaths.

Putting his tie on the antique dresser beside the doorway, Dwight made his way over to her and rested one hand on her shoulder and the other on her waist from behind. His eyes trailed down to the back of her dress and saw what she spoke of before. "This zipper?" He inquired even though the question seemed lame but couldn't help but feel a little shy towards his wife when she asked him to undress her.

Meeting his gaze through the mirror she nodded. "Yep, that's the one."

Placing his fingers on the zipper, he also grazed her bare back and lingered his touch. He tried to focus on getting her dress off instead of focusing on her body. Dwight cleared his threat and started unzipping as requested but was surprised at how easy it was when she said it was difficult before. Still not wanting to get too excited, he focused on the task at hand regardless.

Once the zipper was all the way open, Sherry took her sleeves off as she guided it down and off her body to reveal white lace undergarments. Dwight took a sharp inhale and briefly looked away only to scold himself that maybe she _wanted_ him to see. As he glanced back, she saw Sherry already staring at him with a small smirk while walking into the bedroom to hang her dress in the closet. Her underclothes consisted of a sleeveless corset with a deep V-neck to accommodate for the low neckline that her wedding dress had. She walked back into the bathroom to smile at Dwight's reaction as his jaw stood agape. Absentmindedly, he touched her waist to feel the curves under her taut corset but pulled his hand back immediately in shame that he couldn't control himself until his wife gave the say-so.

"I'm sorry," Dwight stammered as he hung his head. Sherry then placed both hands on the side of his face then pulled him down to kiss him deeply. Putting his hands firmly on her waist again, he quickly fell into the tender lip lock as it grew into a more passionate affection.

…

Sherry was ready. Even though a part of her felt terrified, she wasn't scared for the reasons that she thought she was going to be. It felt right to be with Dwight and nothing in her mind told her otherwise. She _trusted_ him completely and he would always be there to protect her when she needed it.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to," Dwight offered, giving her a way out. His grip on her waist suggested he felt otherwise to which Sherry was relieved.

"Shut up," Sherry protested as she unbuttoned his shirt, "I want to."

Kissing her jawline and trailing his lips to hers, he lowered his hand from her waist to bare upper thigh. "Sounds good to me," Dwight replied with some enthusiasm.

It took merely seconds for him to unzip his pants as he went back to kissing her gently but with strong appetite. Sherry reveled in the love that Dwight was emitting. She had been with others before but with Dwight it had _always_ been different. It was a deep rooted love that had survived every terrible scenario that had ever previously attempted to destroy it.

Breaking their kiss, Sherry led him to their bedroom by taking his hand in hers. He looked thoroughly entertained at where their night was headed and smirked.

"Not wasting any time, I see," Dwight teased as she let go of his hand and removed the top comforter on the bed.

Sherry smiled. "Can I clarify that this is the bed that we _both_ share together? I don't want you to sleep in the other room."

Dwight was taken aback by her forward attitude when it came to such a personal setting as she usually reserved her hands on touch to community matters. "Only if you're sure."

"Positive," Sherry affirmed while watching him stand by the bedpost. Sitting down on the bed, she continued to watch him as her heart pounded like a rabbit thumping its foot. "You going to come over here?"

He chuckled and removed his button-up sleeves off his shoulders. With undershirt and boxers left, he met Sherry at their bed. For a brief moment he saw hesitation that read through Sherry's eyes as he stopped dead in his tracks as if approaching a wild horse.

He waited while Sherry took a deep breath. Her vulnerability showed through as she looked to Dwight with near pleading in her eyes. Dwight stepped closer to her and simply reached for her hand and squeezed tightly. She sat on the edge of the bed while he stood in front of her. Kissing her hand, he then brought his forehead to hers then kissed her cheek.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked.

"I want you to take the lead on this one," Sherry confided. "I just don't know…"

"I understand," Dwight said even though he could never comprehend the fear that applied with such an enjoyable life experience.

Putting a hand on her thigh, he leaned her back to lay on the bed as he crawled on top of her. She wrapped his legs around his middle as he began to kiss her face lightly while trying to get her to relax. His hands began on her thighs or waist. But as Dwight furthered his kiss while exploring the inside of her mouth, the urge to explore other parts of her body became stronger.

Sherry invited his touch with the simple way that she acted as she pulled his face closer to hers even though he couldn't physically be any closer. His hands began to fall lower than her waist and Sherry let out a sharp inhale when he found that part of herself while leaving nothing for his imagination.

Dwight worked slow and let the feelings build. She tugged at his shirt as he took the hint and removed it but quickly fell back on top of her to resume what he started. A breath escaped her as he touched the lace on her shoulder and slowly started peeling it off. She allowed him to continue with what he was doing as her heart beat quicker from excitement and slight anxiety. Yet she didn't want him to stop. She still wanted him.

No clothes were on as it made it easier to touch the places that he dreamed of kissing or holding for years. With their last encounter, he was fully intoxicated and could only vaguely remember bits and pieces. On their wedding night, he was able to appreciate each moment more fully. Whether it be holding her chest or tracing her bare body with his fingertips, he was enjoying every minute.

No longer able to be satisfied with foreplay, Sherry was the one who found him and soon after made the connection. The act nearly did him in but he wanted to ride the sensation further as he swayed back and forth while Sherry quickly responded to the action and arched her back towards him.

Sherry was nothing short of perfect. Every moan that escaped her lips and every time her fingers dug into his shoulder upon his movements made him love her even more. They emphasized so much attention on the trust aspect of their relationship that Dwight nearly forgot there was so much more to a couple than they were exploring at the time.

It was a new level that they found themselves in. Something far more deep than he could have imagined. It was close to what he thought a perfect union would feel like but even better than his mind could concoct.

Sherry's breathing became shorter while no longer able to contain the euphoria that escaped. Dwight was drawing to a close but once her sighs sounded as if the sensation was unbearable, he let out a groan and slowed his pace.

Dwight could hear her sniffling quietly in the dark as he thrust inside of her one last time. He worried that he took it too far and she didn't tell him of her discomfort. Above everything, he didn't want their day to end on a sour note. "Sher?"

She cried but he heard a small laugh. Confused he just rested on top of her and kissed her cheek. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Sherry said sweetly. "Thank you for being so great, Dwight." Her voice broke as she said it and he knew she meant it.

"Well, all of my lovers usually thank me after sex," Dwight teased as she jokingly punched him on the arm. He laughed quietly and kissed her again. He knew what she meant when she said what she did. And he was grateful that he could be someone who could make her happy. He finally felt that he kept his promise to her from long ago. They came from hell and back together and he couldn't ever think of being with anyone other than Sherry. She had changed his life and gave him a purpose. She was everything that he ever wanted.

"Sher, you are the easiest person to love, you know that?" Dwight said as he looked at her getting emotional. It ran deeper than her being thankful for the day that they had. She had been able to break down a wall that she thought would always be there. And it was perfect in every way.

…

Dwight laid on his chest with one arm draped over top his wife sleeping next to him. To describe himself feeling content would have been a gross understatement. He watched her sleep peacefully as her chest moved up and down beneath the sheet on top of her. He was still in utter shock that Sherry was his wife or that he was someone's husband. It was a feeling he could get used to. There they were in _their_ house on the bed they shared. He felt incredibly humbled and didn't imagine this being a life he could have had when the world fell apart.

The world almost seemed more put together than it ever was before. It was a huge contrast from his life over a year ago when he wished that he could have just died from the heartache he experienced as he tried to juggle so many things at once under the leadership of Negan.

His life was now a stark difference from those days. And he welcomed the change with open arms. Sherry was free of the pain as much as he was which made him feel elated. She was finally letting herself move on.

She stirred in her sleep as Dwight kissed her shoulder tenderly. She woke up slightly and turned to face him as he propped himself onto his side to face her better. In her half asleep state, she kissed him on the lips slowly and then again.

He kissed her back as he positioned himself to be on top of her. Their kiss deepened as Dwight grinned in spite of himself. "I could definitely get used to this."

"Me too," Sherry replied quietly.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES, TRIVIA, & FACTS –**

 **#1 – As usual, the playlist/soundtrack for Heal!**

 **Tracks in the Snow by The Civil Wars**

 **Heal by Tom Odell**

 **All We Do by Oh Wonder**

 **Night by Adna**

 **Love Like This – Acoustic Version by Kodaline**

 **Maybe I'm Amazed by Paul McCartney**

 **I'll Be Good by Jaymes Young**

 **To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra**

 **Can't Help Falling in Love by Fleet Foxes**

 **Sweet Dreams by Midas Whale**

 **Demons by Dry the River**

 **Work Song by Hozier**

 **#2 - "The man of her dreams" line is a homage to a favorite chick flick of mine. Somewhere in Time. "The man of my dreams is almost faded now; the one I created in my mind. The sort of man each woman dreams of in the deepest and most secret reaches of her heart. I can almost see him now before me. What would I say to him? If he were really here? 'Forgive me. I have never known this feeling. I have lived without it all my life. Is there any way I could tell you how my life has changed? Any way to tell you what sweetness you have given me? There is so much to say...I cannot find the words. Except for these: I love you.'" Yes, that was from vague memory. If it's wrong slightly here and there, oops! But it is one of my favorite quotes!**

 **#3 - Halfway point of the whole series! Wow! I don't have any plans to go further than book 10 (Fire & Rain). Excited to do Book 6 which will begin several arcs that are occurring in the comics right now! More notably, the Whisperers! Book 6 will be on the same timeline as H.O.P.E. which is written by my best friend apenny12! Just from a different POV as she focuses on Daryl and...another character that may be familiar to y'all.**

 **#4 - This is my favorite of the five so far. Just throwing that out there. If I had to choose an order of favorites, I would choose 5, 2, 4, 1, & 3\. I'll rank 6 somewhere in there when it's finished.**

 **#5 - I think that's the most detailed I have ever been with a sex scene. I feel like I just did the "dirty" as Miranda Sings puts it. I do believe sex scenes have a proper place though. It won't be something you read often from me but when you do, I want it to fake-rock your world!**


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